private i'm spiraling in place / moon

[Needledrift]

There is something soothing about the marshlands at night-time. Needledrift had always found her home peaceful as a general rule, a place where frogs softly croaked out a lullaby for the cats of ShadowClan to drift off to. Only a couple of moons ago, the gray and white warrior would be just as snug as the rest of her clanmates at this time of night.

But that was before her best friend had disappeared.

Her friends had done their best to comfort her. Ferndance was a welcome face at all times, a warm ray of sunlight to break up the oncoming storm in her mind, but there was something in her head that just wouldn't allow the she-cat to feel comforted by closeness... for once.

And so she perched at the edge of camp, green eyes forced wide, staring into the darkness, silently willing - nay, demanding - it to give back a certain cackling pale-furred tom. She had taken over the night guard's position again, choosing her self-imposed vigil over sleep for another countless time this moon. Sleep could wait. Sleep could wait until she knew he wasn't ...... gone.... for good.

@moonspire ​

 

[moonspire]

Moonspire has always been late to sleep. It's been like this since she was small, the only reason her mother let her stay up this late is because unlike her brother, she would stay quiet and admire the starry sky, the moon. Tonight, she isn't awake out of love for her namesake, she is awake out of pure spite and restlessness- and she is alive. Her paws drag her out of the warriors den, too cramped, too loud to even think in. Pale eyes are drawn to a gray body near camp entrance, waiting, watching and her lips twist to a frown. She knows every piece of the cat before her, and yet...

"You can't keep neglecting yourself like this." her voice is monotone like usual, a white paw steps forth to reveal her presence as she stares at the back of the woman she once loved. And perhaps still do, she thinks, surprisingly bitter. She suppresses the feelings in order to take a deep breath, another step closer. "Wishing won't..." she trails off with an odd sort of hesitance, puffing out a small sigh as she draws closer now, seating herself besides the other. She draws a wispy tail over her paws, shuddering just slightly at the cooler marsh air that blows in a small breeze.

Her attention turns to the moon overhead and then to the face of Needledrift, whose eyes shone just a little too bright in the moonlight. Her lips pull tight, another small frown; she's been frowning too much lately, she wonders when it'll indent in her face. "You're running yourself thin, Needle. The others might not notice, or even care, but I do." she leaves it as that, both an invitation and a statement. She can talk, if she needs to. Moonspire would be here like she always is.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ info

• 
  -> oleander, moonspire
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 32 months
  -> warrior of shadowclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> tall, regal black & lilac chimera with piercing blue eyes
  -> “speech, A2D8F4”
  -> bisexual ,, single
  -> smells like pine needles & pressed flowers
  -> image by @ darlings (toyhouse)
  

​

 

[Needledrift]

I'm not, it's her first reaction, an instinctual urge to protect her own vanity. Her own sanity, maybe? Hard to say with how frazzled she was. Needledrift had found that enfrazzlement was par for the course in regards to loss. First went the nerves, next the temper, then sleep, then... whatever else. Everything else.

"ShadowClan needs me. She murmurs, but even as the words pass her lips, she knows that Moonspire won't take them. She knows that idle prattle wouldn't get her out of a scolding.

"I need a distraction." The gray and white she-cat corrects herself in a small voice. "I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish it helped that I could sleep next to Primrosethorn or Ferndance or you or anyone, but it doesn't feel right to just take my pick of a nest just to have a body next to me. I feel.... hollow." Moons ago, there had been a time where Moonspire had laid beside the gray molly, as close as Chittertongue did. Before her, Primrosethorn, and before him, any pretty she-cat that could be caught up in a flight of fancy as quickly as Needledrift could. It felt different now. Something inside her ached for Chittertongue's presence, and something inside her heart wailed now that he was gone.

"I guess there's something wrong with me... I've had two-day mates. I have so many friends. I shouldn't.... I shouldn't feel like this..." ​