private IN MY ROOM ♥ Fernpaw

[Petalnose]

I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆

Petalnose carefully carried a trout in her mouth, blinking softly towards the medicine den. She had one clanmate in mind to feed. Fernpaw. She remembered the blood that spilled from his eye, how it made her stomach twist in concern. She was glad to see him survive the endeavour. Although, she worried for his training. Hopefully the young tom would adjust to it, but despite her worry, she still believed in him. He might have failed his assessment, embarrassed himself and made his clanmates shake their heads. She believed him as she did with the majority of their youth no matter how much they annoyed her.

"Fernpaw." She called, eyes scanning the medicine den until she spotted the ginger feline. "I'm here to make sure you eat... And keep you company until dusk patrol leaves. I know I'm distant but figured I could help keep you sane." She announced calmly, approaching him and setting the trout in front of his paws. She sat down carefully in front of him, mix-matched eyes scanning over his face. She noted the injury, knowing full well it will scar. Petalnose decided against talking about it for the time being, opening her maw to speak of other matters, "I can take you for a walk around after you eat if you need to stretch your legs. Muscles shouldn't go to waste."

"Also, how are you feeling? Ravenpaw keeping you company?" She asked, blinking slowly as she watched for expression.

// @FERNPAW
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[FERNGILL]

Fernpaw had not been expecting company, much less the company of one of the Clan's newer lead warriors. As soon as she strode through the threshold of the medicine cat's den Fernpaw felt his body stiffen, sitting to attention instinctively- but as soon as his now-limited vision settled upon the prey she held, he relaxed again. Despite the guilt and embarrassment he felt, incessant emotions that had refused to ebb away the past few days, he let a smile wobble into place upon his lips, gratitude curving his eye with the expression. It was a genuine grin, even with the scar it had to fight against for occupancy.

"Thanks. Thank you," he said, correcting himself into a politer expression as he dipped his head with his gratitude. His paws prickled with an undefined sensation. Eying the trout for a moment, Fernpaw realised only then quite how hungry he had been. Minutes seemed to stretch endless and yet move in a flicker in this den, it seemed. At least, when Ravenpaw wasn't here. He didn't waste a moment in taking a bite of the fish, watching her mouth as he chewed. "A walk would be nice, yeah." he hummed, again offering her a smile as he swallowed his food.

How are you feeling? It was meant well, but... Fernpaw had been unsure of how to answer it since the incident. "Yeah, uh... I'm... okay. It doesn't hurt that much anymore." For the first few days of healing it had been near-constant ache, tenderness that would flinch and prickle at even a brush of a muzzle against his or a twitch of the face. Now, it only really flared up if it was touched directly, which was a thankfully uncommon occurrence. "Ravenpaw's my friend, so... company's been good, yeah." What went unsaid was how lonely, how low, he felt when there was no-one to talk to. ​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[Petalnose]

I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆

Fernpaw seemed to show respect which honestly wasn't something the female expected. Despite her brash and authoritative attitude she normally got snide remarks back and forced into something she didn't enjoy. Hopefully, her title was what brought the respect she wanted. Like the respect she was already getting from the ginger tom. Her mix-matched gaze lightened in interest and her ears swiveled more forward in his direction at his politeness. She nodded her head in a fashion to welcome his thanks, thankful to see him nourish himself upon the catch she made.

Fernpaw accepted her request of a walk, her eyes scanning the room tops of the den. "I figured, sharing room with these spiders all the time can drive you mad. I think last time I was in here I was starting to hear them speak to me." She trilled in a humourous manner, deciding to bring light to the conversation despite her neutral expression. "Today is nice as well, I think a bit of rays can help you feel a tad better... Despite you already looking like the sun itself. I think you'll benefit in your element."

Then he responded to her last question, she had started to regret it. The lead warrior had not meant to make him drop in a feeling of uncomfortablity and depression, merely searching for his current emotion rather than emotion towards his loss. I should have thought a bit more about asking that question. Oops, oh well. Lessons to be told. Her sides heaved with a long sigh, "Don't let it faulter you, someday you're going to share this story or maybe even a little lie to your kits or others and they'll be staring you in awe of your bravery. Even if your bravery was for a moment. When I pass you'll be staring at the stars and telling me I was right. Hmm.. or the ground. Wherever I belong. I'm lucky my Thunderclan injuries weren't any deeper. Then it would be quite embarrassing for one to stare at given it's location. Then.. I'll be swatting at their faces everytime I catch a glance in that direction. All in all, you look like a fierce warrior." It was a mixture of humour, truth, and seriousness. She knew Fernpaw could either sulk at her words or laugh. She was prepared for either, continuing to keep her expression stained of no emotion.

She nodded at Fernpaws words of Ravenpaw, she would be biased in his situation. The two of them seemed to enjoy messing with each other and getting on each other's nerves on purpose. It was quite embarrassing to get locked up and have commands from someone who was younger than her. Someone she had to listen to on terms of physical injuries. She almost rolled her eyes to herself but she ceased that moment to not make Fernpaw think it was directed towards him, "I'm glad." She simply responded, lifting to her paws if Fernpaw had finished his meal.

She carefully padded to the mouth of the medicine den, her tail confidently held but flicked in a welcoming manner. "When you're better, with Mudpelts permission, maybe I can show you some battle moves. I wasn't promoted for nothing." It wasn't a comment to point to his assessment failure or skills, but rather something he can look forward to. She had hoped he took it in that manner so she wouldn't have to lighten the mood with more flat toned humor. It was fun for her, but it did get tiring for the she-cat. Seriousness was more her taste but she knew how Fernpaw was, she remembered the bright and young tabby bounding throughout camp that lightened her solemn mood. I guess it's my turn.

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[FERNGILL]

He laughed at her joke, the image of talking spiders eliciting a small, squeaky giggle from him. Spiders were artists, sort of- but their works were often taken by the medicine cats to bandage wounds. He supposed they probably wouldn't have much better to do than talk to cats, whispering some sacred secrets that only spiders knew. His smile lingered as she likened him to the sun; he certainly did not feel as bright and bold as the day-star itself, but... it was heartwarming to consider. Maybe the sunbeams would make him feel a bit brighter. Fighting fire with fire and all that.

He listened intently as she spoke, smiling a little at the implications. A story, a lie to his kits. His own kits, one day. The thought was vaguely heartwarming, though the thought of Petalnose being dead did make his heart sink a little bit. She seemed not to fret over that possibility of the future, though, speaking humorously of the whole ordeal... and so he would not dwell upon it, either. Still, the lead warrior said that thing that everyone had been telling him since the scar over his eye had been carved. You look like a fierce warrior. "I don't feel like a warrior, though," he admitted, though the words were void of bitterness. It seemed almost as if he had accepted it.

Finishing his meal, he rose to his paws once Petalnose did so too, and his ear flicked. It was still... odd to get used to this new, cramped field of vision, and perhaps the manner in which he had hesitated before walking forward had betrayed that. When Petalnose mentioned the possibility of trying some new training moved, the ginger tom nodded, a shred of vitality returning to him like a drop of sunlight. "That would be so cool! Mudpelt's already a super good fighter... maybe with some new moves I can finally beat him in a spar." When practicing with Mudpelt he often failed- had always failed, in fact. But something new might give him a little push, too. ​

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[Petalnose]

Petalnose straightened her posture more at the chuckles at her jokes, eyes lightening in slight pleasure of result of seeing positive feelings throughout the ginger tom. Although, it fell into a bitter tone at her compliment and her eyes relaxed more in some disappointment. He didn't take it well, it was expected but she still felt guilty to an extent. She was here to help get his mind off of the situation, not pull him toward it.

I don't feel like a warrior though.

She scanned his face and hummed in thought, "Soon. Maybe you'll feel it in the future. It's like getting older, you don't feel older at first." She explained, gazing to her tall shadow. She didn't remember much of her kitten moons, only getting a taste of it through broken up night terrors. Although, she still felt young and naive despite her being the complete opposite. She was old compared to the majority of her clan, especially it being overrun by kittens at the moment. Normally Petalnose would say something blunt, but she had decided to hold it back this time. He had too much on his shoulders.

He'll get over it. I know it. It's how life goes. Just as I had to get over it. But I won't let my tongue slip this time. I'm here to make him feel sane not uncomfortable.

Petalnose watched him hesitate, for a moment she considered asking him if he needed guidance. She pushed back the considering, knowing he had to get used to it on his own eventually. She believed in him to help himself, he had to learn at some point.

Fernpaw then responded to her invitation, gazing in the direction of the leaders den. "Maybe I'll help spread good word too. Just give me some strong hits so I can brag, I'm tough."

She turned to pad out of the medicine den at his side, pupils quickly constricted to the adjustment of light. Her eyes fluttered away the blurry picture until her eyes fully adjusted, turning her gaze to Fernpaw again. "It's bright today, can't imagine how your eyes just adjusted. Mine already took a moment." She shook her pelt, huffing softly in good humor. "But look at you, fitting in your element as I assumed. Just don't burn me into dust, I just got promoted." The woman's tone was of fake annoyance, her expression matching her tone. She kept it for a long moment and then smirked as she side glanced in his direction. "Anyways.. what has your father already taught you?"

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[FERNGILL]

It's like getting older. You don't feel older at first. Fernpaw could only reply to her with a thoughtful hum as the sentiment sat in his mind, bubbling away. Reactive, it thrashed in his mind for a moment, freezing him in place for those few seconds. She was wise, wasn't she? Fitting for someone in authority, perhaps... but it still managed to shock Fernpaw that some could say things like that, things that just made sense, things Fernpaw doubted he ever could have come out with.

Padding out of the medicine den alongside her, he blinked in the sunlight, lids fluttering at the sight. His pupils shrank as he met the sunbeam-blanketed camp, the warmth feeling peculiar. The prickle of sunlight upon his pelt... acutely aware of every sensation. It was not a glorious feeling, nor an unpleasant one- simply a sensation of the Sun itself staring down at him, like everyone else doubtlessly did.

He giggled a little at her joke- comparing him to the sunlight yet again, blazing bight. At least his pelt had not lost its lustre; it had taken him long enough to gain it. "I'll try," he hummed, meeting her good humour. Though he knew it was in jest, it was nice to play along. Her next question swivelled his ears, whiskers twitching in thoughtfulness. "Well- everything, really. It's just a thing that... I can't quite do it all yet." he hummed. "But I'm a great swimmer, and I can fish. I'm just... bad at remembering what I'm s'posed to do in the heat of the moment, when I'm fighting." He hoped she didn't mind his rambling thoughts- at the very least, he didn't stutter over them anymore like he had done in his youth. ​

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[Petalnose]

"You'll be able to faster than you can blink." Petalnose responded, looking at the bright clouds that scattered the sky. "Then you'll be standing on the grounds for your warrior assessment." She added, tipping her head in the direction of the training grounds.

She wished she had remembered her first assessment, how fierce she fought. She was sure she passed hers with flying colors from her unexplainable excitement of the rush of battle. She didn't personally understand why others didn't enjoy the rush, although, she understood why some of her clanmates were scared when battle came to play. Fernpaw hadn't admitted to fear, but lack of knowledge in the moment. Petalnose wasnt exactly sure what to say at first, she had not gone through his type of issue.

She paused for a moment, thinking, then her maw fell open to speak, "I have faith it'll come to you eventually. Think of it like when you play fought either your siblings or a moss ball. Let instincts come to play. There's a little fight in everyone, some more prevalent in others but there is always instinctual knowledge. I'm sure once you let your instincts start, the additional knowledge will come." She explained, "Battle is mentality too. How confident would you feel if I suddenly challenged you?" She made eye contact again to watch for his reaction, attempting to see if she could read his true feelings. She was careful to not let her gaze seem to burn into his, however, she made it blatant she was reading the younger Tom.

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[FERNGILL]

Though Petalnose suggested with confidence that there was instinct involved in battle prowess, Fernpaw found that verdict quite a difficult one to agree with. If there was some hidden potential that slumbered within him... that was untellable, but if it had not emerged by now then who was to say it ever would? His father seemed to think so, and now... now, so did one of the lead warriors. It gave him the tiniest incentive to keep going- to storm forward, despite the complete lack of belief he currently had in himself. This moon, he would strive for complete supremacy, would struggle forward to learn everything he could. Fernpaw would try harder than he ever had... even if it took every hour of every day.

For a moment, he regarded Petalnose with a largely vague look, single verdant eye inquisitive in its blankness. "Um... not very." It was an easy admittance, really- Fernpaw had never been a good liar anyway. "I mean... you're you, and I'm... me. My brother hates fighting and I couldn't even beat him. I didn't even hurt that fox, really."​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[Petalnose]

She listened to his response, nodding her head slowly in thought. She knew Fernpaw wouldn't really realistically beat her in a spar, although the test for his confidence confirmed to her what else may be the subject to his lack of enthusiasm towards battle. "Right there. That can be a factor. You've got to believe in yourself more, if you believe and doubt yourself you're going to breath that into life. Faith is important, Fernpaw. I believe in you more than you probably believe in yourself." She informed, attempting to encourage the younger feline. "All I say is just don't get too ahead of yourself like I do. I was lucky those geese had mercy on me." Petalnose humorously shook her head in scold towards herself. She maybe had too much of a death wish at times, she knew it was dangerous. Though, as always, danger was not something she particularly feared. She took it on with an eager smile.

Fernpaw was nothing like her, therefore she didn't worry the Tom would become like her in any way. She did believe he'd eventually become a respectable warrior in his lifetime, although he wouldn't impulsively jump into things she had for not a lot of reason. Fernpaw seemed to analyze situations more, same as Pikesplash always did. It frustrated her and made her have a sort of respect for at the same time. Hesitation was a good thing for certain situations but she knew well it could lead them into danger in the heat of battle. Maybe even death.

//before work post!

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