private it can’t be said i’m an early bird ;; thundergleam

[STORMYWING]

Stormywing's paws carry her to the river without thinking. The coppery scent of blood clings to her fur, the crimson no longer dripping but now drying and crusting onto her ashen pelt. The feeling makes her stomach twist. She wants to feel satisfied, wants to believe that attacking Wrathpaw - Wrath-howl - had eased the sickening pain inside her. But it hadn't.

Her fur bristles as she nears the water and stares down at her reflection. Her eyes are swollen with the sobbing she’d done, empty of tears now. Her fur is streaked with mud and blood. She almost doesn’t recognize herself. Behind her, she can hear pawsteps approach and she turns suddenly, jumpier than she normally is. She half-expects to see Skyclaw there, or Wrath-howl or Redflower or someone who wants to finish the job of spilling her kittypet blood into the ground. Instead, she sees a face she’d missed more than she thought possible - at least, since missing Iciclefang. The warrior relaxes, but her face still contorts with suffering. She lets her approach. Stars, what a reunion this is.

"Do you think Pebblestep would hate me for this?” She asks, a whisper as she kneads her claws into the soft earth. The water laps at her paws, but she can’t bring herself to step in yet. Her heart pounds still, the memory of drawing her claws repeatedly across Wrath-howl’s shocked face never leaving her mind. Was it really vengeance if it left her feeling more hollow than before? With a frustrated hiss, she finally dips her paws into the warm river, the blood swirling away in dark, red clouds. "I didn't even finish him."

// @THUNDERGLEAM
​

 

[THUNDERGLEAM]

She had never seen Stormywing so fierce, eyes tinged with vengeance. Undeniably, it was an aspect of suffering ... of losing her brother, of the violent, hurling change that had clawed at them for so, so long. And Thundergleam hated to think of it, truly, for a cat who did not hate easily.

Her whole life she had been trained to purge suffering, to use her claws to wrench it free... to allow life to unravel in crimson rivers, to weave along blades of grass and guide a soul to a better place where ideals became reality. It was the best fate for those in such unfixable pain. This sort of crippling grief, it surely counted. It had been in Badgerstripe's eyes, too... gleaming regret, a film of tears. And yet... this suffering, twisted upon Stormywing's face, hurt Thundergleam deeper than she truly had the words to describe.

There was nothing she wanted to do more than help...

But it was not a pounce that moved her- they were feather-light footsteps, closing in. Miserable tones struck a spear through the pale molly's lungs, and she pressed softly against Stormywing's side. Selfishly, she felt a small itch of relief that she could feel the other molly, could sense her heartbeat and the jagged breaths that kept her upright. It meant none of this was a prohecy, or simple reverie. It meant she was here, and Thundergleam relished in it for a few moments.

Blood misted in the river, and Thundergleam sighed. "Pebblestep loves you, Stormywing ..." her voice was gentle, soothing, genuine. She had not known Pebblestep as well as she would have liked, but she knew the strength of kinship... and most importantly, she knew Stormywing. "What is there to hate you for? You fought for ThunderClan. You fought for what was right. And you won."

She severed herself from her friend's side, watching the waltz of red in the water. "I am sure your brother would not want you to bury another in victory, but ... but to climb, Stormywing. It is what you love, and you deserve to do so in victory... in your rightful home." There has to be another way to save you from this. ​

penned by pin ☾​

 

[STORMYWING]

Stormywing tenses as Thundergleam presses against her side, the touch almost too much to bear. She wants to pull away, to hide her rawness and vulnerability, but instead, she stays, leaning into the soft, reassuring pressure. It's strange - comforting, yet uncomfortable, as if she's forgotten how to feel anything but rage and grief. Her claws flex into the riverbed, stirring the sand beneath the water as the blood drifts away, leaving her feeling somehow cleaner and filthier at the same time.

The albino’s words wash over her, each one a balm and a sting. Pebblestep loves you. Stormywing swallows hard, staring into the swirling red water that swiftly turns clearer and clearer, trying to picture her brother's face. How he'd smile at her with that lopsided grin. Would he smile at her now, knowing what she'd done? Knowing that she'd wanted to kill Wrath-howl - not just hurt him, but truly, utterly destroy him?

Her friend's voice pulls her back, soothing in its calm certainty. You fought for what was right. And you won. The tabby wants to believe it, she really does, but today’s victory feels so hollow, the anger still burning under her pelt, leaving her cold. She watches Thundergleam pull away, her pale form like a ghost beside the dark water. Looking at her grounds her, at least somewhat. "I don't feel like I won," Stormywing admits, her voice hoarse, rough like the stones in the river. "How awful does it make me…that I still want him dead?" Her eyes flicker up to meet Thundergleam's, searching for something - understanding, maybe, or absolution. But as she looks into the other she-cat’s eyes - those soft, rosy eyes that always seem to see something beyond the present moment (how does she do that?) - she blinks in surprise. Climbing?

The thought surprises her, cutting through the numbness like a ray of sunlight piercing through storm clouds. Her claws flex again, this time with a different kind of energy, the kind that yearns for the rough bark of a tree beneath her paws, for the feeling of being high up where the world is quiet and the wind whispers through the leaves. Climbing had always been her solace, the one thing that made her feel free, untouchable. Up there, it didn't matter if she was a kittypet-born or clanborn warrior or anything in between. She was just herself, and that had always been enough. But...could it really help her right now?

But she sees the earnestness in her expression, the unwavering belief that this simple act could be the answer. And maybe it could be, if only for a moment. Stormywing lets out a shaky breath, a tiny spark of hope flickering in her chest. "I did promise I’d teach you…didn’t I?" She mews, her voice a little less hollow. Her lips quirk up into the hints of a smile, golden eyes betraying her gratitude. “Alright, let’s do it.”
​

 

[THUNDERGLEAM]

Oh, she hoped she had not overstepped ... nerves ticked beneath her skin in an unfamiliar way, a twitching anxiety that only ever seemed to arise in fear of disappointing the blue-and-white molly. I don't feel like I won, she admitted, and Thundergleam's tail-tip flicked, rosy eyes quivering with pity. "It does not make you awful." Perhaps it was a decided, presumptuous thing to state- but her tone was steady imbued with earnestness, true belief. The evil in this world deserved to be punished, to be purged. Thundergleam would not hesitate, given a possibility ... but he had not died then, surely, for a reason.

She recognised clear as day the surprise written in yellow eyes, and she dared to smile a little in response, the tiniest twitch of the lips to combat the look of worry written so plain upon her features before. Lashes fluttered with interest as the words seemed to flow through Stormywing, slaloming through her bones. The true value of this suggestion might take a while to sink in, truly ... but there was great joy in belonging, Thundergleam knew that to be true more than she trusted StarClan itself.

The pale molly brightened like the full moon, uneclipsed, when Stormywing let free a gentle, quavering sigh. There was a tiny sequin of light in her sunny gaze, reminding Thundergleam of daylight dappling through the canopy. And her smile grew even more at the confirmation that she would be invited ... taught. That Stormywing was sharing something special with her, something ... so intrinsically tied to her being ... Thundergleam felt a warm pulse of honour. "I would like that very much," she purred, rosy eyes crescenting.

Getting to snowy paws, she found her way to one of the nearest trees - one that looked sturdy enough, at least. Claws were curled, and she supposed ... it made some sense just to leap. And that she did, rocketing from paws and getting surprisingly far. Thundergleam scared herself, but found purchase- her claws hooked into the bark, just as she had predicted. She attempted to make it a bit further up, and pulled herself shakily up the trunk. Stars, it was a workout, but - she was succeeding, despite the burn of her muscles!

Again, she tried to get a little further, closer to the lowest branch- her tail was poised, keeping balance, but she failed to find another hold. "Ah ... it is harder than it looks...! And it looks hard..." She remarked, evidently breathless.​

penned by pin ☾​

 

[STORMYWING]

She watches Thundergleam bound toward the nearest tree, determination clear in her movements, but her inexperience is obvious. The blue tabby can't help but let out a soft huff, the closest thing to a laugh she's managed in moons. It feels strange, like stretching an unused muscle, but it's good. Her tension lessens as she watches her friend scramble up the trunk, tail flailing as she claws her way higher.

Golden eyes sparkle faintly in amusement, Stormywing's earlier grief momentarily pushed aside. "It's not something you just learn in one try," She chuffs with her natural arrogance, standing and padding closer to the tree, her pawsteps stronger than they were moments ago when she stumbled to the river. "Takes practice. But I like your spirit," She praises with a flash of a smile - a real, genuine smile. She pauses at the base of the tree, glancing back up at Thundergleam's ghostly pale form clinging to the bark, and then with a swift, agile leap, the warrior launches herself upward. Her claws sink into the rough bark with ease, muscle memory guiding her as she climbs with fluid precision. Her thick tail sways behind her, balancing her weight as she scales the trunk, making it look almost effortless. Within moments, she reaches a sturdy branch and perches on it with a satisfied flick of her ears.

Stormywing glances down at the she-cat who is now below her, a crooked grin spread across her muzzle and her eyes filled with warmth, with purpose. "It's all about using your whole body. You don't pull with just your legs or your claws - you need to engage everything. And trust the tree to hold you!" She stretches out along the branch, her posture relaxed but her gaze attentive, watching to see if Thundergleam will attempt another climb. "Come on, let's see what you've got! I'm not letting you down until you reach this branch," She teases challengingly, patting the spot next to her.

A memory stirs behind eyelids that shut only briefly. Lighthearted words that encourage a tortoiseshell form higher into the snowy pine. Pelts brushing, icy breath catching in her throat. Her eyes fly open before she can let the memory fester. She hasn't even realized that her heart has begun to pound.​

 

[THUNDERGLEAM]

Pride bloomed from Storymwing's words- Thundergleam found herself in awe of her confidence for a few long moments. How could a cat who did not speak with the Stars, who did not so intimately know the Truth of everything, be so sure of every words that she spoke? It was terrifying, to some extent ... for someone to make their way through the world completely blind to what awaited them, and yet impressive that confidence could still burst, could cloak the land in a wonderful brightness.

She met Stormywing's smile with an earnest one of her own. And it seemed not a false smile- Thundergleam felt a fluttering warmth that was beginning to become familiar. No doubt, a feeling of rushing fulfillment. She had succeeded, again, in alleviating pain ... of helping another through their suffering ...

She could not help the way her mouth hung open a little as Stormywing effortlessly leapt up he tree trunk. She had heard of the she-cats feats in climbing, heard likening to a Skyclanner in ability, but to see it ... it felt like an honour next to receiving her blessing beneath Howlingstar. The ghostly molly was completely unable to smother her awe beneath composure.

Pale ears flicked to her friend's words. Attention was steadfast- it reminded her of when she focossed so intently on the Warrior Code, when her excitement had brimmed out of her mouth. Fight through the pain of it. Engage everything. Trust the tree. Ah, she could trust nature, trust StarClan, but ... was a tree part of it all? She supposed... there would be no harm in experimentation. "Ah, you would trap me here?" she joked breathlessly.

Thundergleam's chest heaved, but she did it- heeded every word Stormywing said, and began to pull herself further and further up the tree. Past pristine fangs she panted with increasing labour, but the star-gleam molly refused to give up. Not- not when Stormywing, when pride, was so close... when accomplishment awaited her.

Stormywing's yellow eyes fluttered- at what, she didn't see. Thundergleam's heart thumped in her chest, and her reverie-blessed expression contorted with scrunched effort. Past the blur, she glimpsed twin suns- looked straight into them. Crimson pupils pierced with a precision hardly-ever seen, as if she looked right into Stormywing's soul, rather than a different plane altogether. A grasping paw struggled- fond its place at last, and with one last pull of effort Thundergleam heaved herself up onto the branch beside Stormywing.

She huddled close to the branch, catching her breath and evening out her balance. Relief was evident on her face, which had returned to porcelain lightness. A smile refused to leave her face, thrilled and frazzled, quite unlike the polite pleasantry that it usually adopted. "Hah- hahaha ... I can see what keeps you so well-muscled," Thundergleam murmured, laughs pushing through very word, accomplishment glowing from her like Silverpelt. "I must say, stargazing ... does not require quite so much ... pep-talking. Perhaps I should trap you in a spar instead." ​

penned by pin ☾​

 

[STORMYWING]

Stormywing's playful grin lingers as she watches Thundergleam heed her advice. She climbs the tree with a determination that draws admiration from the warrior, and when she reaches the branch to catch her breath, the tabby notices the exhilaration reflected in her friend's wide, starry eyes. She leans in on impulse, her shoulder bracing against Thundergleam's to help her gain balance, the heat colliding between their bodies despite the cool breeze. The usual bravado in her posture falters at their closeness, the soft press of fur against fur. For a heartbeat, everything else fades - the world, their clan, the grief that had weighed so heavily on her. It’s just them, perched in the tree, suspended between the ground and the sky. As if becoming all too aware of their closeness, a teasing murmur slips out, "Maybe I should trap you up here more often.” A moment passes, then another, and she seems to realize what she just said with a rising blush to her cheeks. Her golden eyes flick to Thundergleam's face, lingering on the other she-cat’s smile - a genuine, radiant smile that makes something flutter in Stormywing's chest, and she slides away to give her space. A harsh clearing of her throat turns her muzzle away, pupils shrinking as she stares too intently at an ant crawling along a leaf further down the branch. Why did I say that why did I say that why did I say that why did-

Her thoughts are interrupted by the albino’s joke and she flicks her ears, angling her face slightly back to her. Trying to slow her quickening pulse, she flashes a crooked grin, attempting to shake off the strange vulnerability creeping up on her. “I think I’ll stay up here. I may be good, but not even I want to chance squaring off against you.” The warrior jokes, her voice regaining some of its edge as her gaze locks with the other’s once more. She remembers their training spars all too well. The other has a gift - hidden beneath svelte muscles and a plush coat one would never guess her power, her precision.

Her tail curls slightly around the branch, brushing against Thundergleam's in a gesture she doesn’t quite realize she’s making. And for a moment, all of her cares are forgotten. All that matters is the way Thundergleam is looking at her, the palpable space between them, and the unspoken tension that hums between their breaths.
​

 

[THUNDERGLEAM]

Maybe I should trap you up here more often. Oh, she had not missed it. Thundergleam's eyes fluttered a little, her breath stilled- she stole a glance, felt a prickling heat beneath her fur. Suddenly, she was quite aware of their closeness- aware of every brushing fur, ghostly pale butterfly-kissing stormcloud stripes. Very slightly, Thundergleam swayed- closer, away, closer, away. Nerves, unfamiliar, plucked the strings in her throat- she found she could say nothing at all in response.

Her joke landed well, though- and it was radiant, filled her with light and hope, to see a glister in Stormywing's golden eyes when only moments before she was sure she looked into the void of hopelessness. What was unfixable, then? If she- if her judgement had been wrong- if she had acted rashly, there would never be another one of those smiles to light the world. And what would she be? A murderer- and all those who had known that smile, crooked and playful, slapdash and earnest on such a windblown molly as Stormywing ... they would have collapsed beneath their grief too.

Something would break within them. It would be a cycle of misery-ending, if she had cut that string of fate... would it end in ThunderClan's eradication, rather than their salvation?

Bidding the wandering of her mind to cease, Thundergleam met determined eyes- she basked in the glow of the compliment. "You are lucky I am on your side, then," she murmured jovially. There was earnestness there, as ever, abuzz beneath the humour. Yes, she was... decidedly on Stormywing's side.

There was a lonesome closeness in the arms of the trees that Thundergleam had never felt before. The two of them seemed spots of light in the sky, whisked away from all that writhed and rotted on the earth. By sprinting up a tree-trunk, they had found a glade, wonderfully seperate... an eden, still on ThunderClan's territory and yet so, so far away from anyone who might look. It was not isolation, though ... it was meditative haven. And with golden hour in her gaze, Stormywing still looked at her. Thundergleam swayed, a little. Oh, her tail had a mind of its own- plumy white sought to twine, just a little, with grey-striped.

"I can see why you enjoy this so much." her voice came out quiet, a little husky against the dryness of her throat, and with a head slightly-tilted she gazed at Stormywing still. "The view is quite wonderful."​

penned by pin ☾​

 

[STORMYWING]

Her pulse races despite her attempts to stay composed. The softness of her friend’s tail, their shared, quiet intimacy among the branches, feels unlike anything she's known. Or…that’s what she’d like to tell herself. But if she were honest she’d say this moment feels awfully familiar, heart achingly so. The view…but instead of sapphire ice chips, it is blushed petals she stares into now. Her ears twitch at Thundergleam's quiet words, and for a moment, the tabby’s gaze drifts away, following the sun-dappled patterns on the ground far below them. She can't help but think how this feels like a secret, one meant just for them. Perhaps it’s because the only other time she’s felt this, it had to be a secret. No one could know. It would always, always be forbidden. As the leaves whisper softly in the breeze, soft as the albino warrior’s very presence, she has to convince herself this is okay. This is not breaking any rules.

And she tries to smile, but her eyes betray a flicker of uncertainty. The part of her that feels like this moment could be more, something special, something to hold onto, battles against the part of her that knows she’s already had love. She has the rock in her nest engraved with crossed scratches. She’s given her heart to the cat who’d given her that stone…how can she have this, too? This is selfish.

Her gaze finally settles back on Thundergleam's face, and the kind shine in the other she-cat's eyes makes her heart thud painfully in her chest. She clears her throat and looks away with heated cheeks, her voice dropping softer, almost vulnerable. "Yeah...it's something, isn't it?”

For a brief second, she wants to say something - something real, something from her heart. Something that makes Thundergleam know how special she is, how spectacular and the best friend she’s had and a light in every day of her life. How ThunderClan is better off because she’s here now, how her life is better because the other she-cat is in it. But instead, her mouth opens and what comes out is, "We should probably climb down." It's safer, she thinks, to keep moving, to stay in motion. Because staying here, in this stillness, feels like teetering on the edge of something she doesn't know how to name. Something she won’t know how to come back from.

Without waiting for a response, Stormywing stretches a paw to the next limb down, her muscles tensing as she begins to descend, but her mind remains tethered to the branch behind her.
​

 

[THUNDERGLEAM]

Something looked a little odd about Stormywing's face, as if golden tumult glowed behind her eyes. Thundergleam could not hope to know the depths of it, though a worming thing within her urged her to ask- against every pulsing cell in her body, she stayed silent. Crimson pupils held Stormywing's... searched for some silver glimmer, any sign that might tell her what lay in the visceral depths of her friend's heart. She would dive within it, given the opportunity... she would help in every way she could, guiding her from the brink of being unsalvageable.

It's something, isn't it? Thundering heart for a thunder-named figure, she supposed it was fitting. But she did not believe it had ever hammered like this. Rising clamour, roaring into her ears, making her wish to freeze the moment and encase it within her ribcage. No interjection twinkled upon her tongue... she let the world be quiet, around them, just for a moment. The breeze kissed the treetops. And was she a fool, to feel a loom? To feel something striding toward her that soaked her emotions in the honey of excitement, slowing every passing thought? Was she a fool to believe, among the gilt squall in Stormywing's gaze, there was a unique sort of softness?

We should probably climb down. Yes, she was a fool indeed.

The plummet of her heart was keen, and Thundergleam hated its selfishness immediately. She felt as if she should strike herself for the disappointment that surely showed on her face, the tiny murmur of "... Oh," that whispered through her breath and dissipated like dust. The breeze, once tender, swept her emotion away. Thundergleam blinked after her friend, trying to ignore the tightening of her chest, as she unsteadily-but-competently made her way down, too.​

penned by pin ☾​