- Feb 1, 2024
- 20
- 2
- 3
//cw for bad parenting/some emotional manipulation
"Mama... Mamaaaa... Mama, I'm bored!"
The kitten padded in circles in the nursery, tail lashing the air. Bored, bored, bored. Hot, too. The thick, muggy air of late greenleaf was the worst. Her fluffy pelt didn't help in the slightest; every step beneath the sun's blaze felt like she was being breathed on by a dog. That's why she was here, stomping around the nursery in a huff. She sidled up to her mother's nest, poking at the mound of fur within.
"Minkkit, go play with the other kits. I'm trying to sleep through this heat, I am not here to entertain you."
"No!" Minkkit wailed, cornflower eyes flaring. "Doekit pushed me, and Fennelkit tried to hide it but I know he was laughing about it. So, so I hate them! And I'm never playing with them again." Her little limbs trembled as heat raced through her body. I bet Fennelkit wouldn't be laughing if I'd pushed him. I bet he'd cry to his mama, and get me in trouble! Which was not at all what Minkkit was doing. Her mama would never chastise another kit for her, because her mama knew she could handle herself. She just wanted someone else to play with besides two meanie kits. But her mother had not replied. With a huff Minkkit batted at her once more. "Mamaaaa-"
There was a blur of fur, and suddenly Minkkit's ears were ringing. She'd been knocked right on her rear too, and she sat quite still, blinking as the ringing in her ears turned into a burning heartbeat. Her mother stood over her now, tail snapping behind her. Her face was set like a stony, vacant statue.
"Ow!" The pain had not dulled Minkkit's tongue in the slightest. "You cuffed me!" She stared at her mother, waiting to hear whatever reason she had for it. That's not nice at all! The queen stared back, dark eyes seeming to search her.
"Do you know what it means that I cuffed you?"
The question baffled the child. Huh? 'Course I don't know. Thought you were gonna tell me. She considered entering a staring contest with her mother until she got an explanation. The older molly simply stared and stared until Minkkit began to squirm.
"Well, I dunno... it probably means that you're mad at me, 'cause I wouldn't stop bugging you or something." Actions meet consequences seemed to back her up there. But I only bugged you 'cause no one would play with me! Or, she wouldn't play with anyone else. Same difference. It seemed she'd chosen correctly, for her mother's stone gaze finally melted into a smile. The warmth of it was so intense it blocked out the burning in Minkkit's ear, and the kitten leaned forward eagerly.
"Very good," her mother purred, leaning down to lick her between the ears. Minkkit's heart swelled in her chest. Ha! Take that, Doekit. I bet you'd have said something dumb, like, like... something dumb.
"Because of my reaction, you knew exactly what I was feeling," the queen went on. Realizing she wasn't done, Minkkit tried to sit a little straighter, to show she was listening really hard. "It's easy to tell what someone is thinking if you follow their actions." That made sense to the kit, and she nodded along. Just like with Doekit. Maybe she was mad at me or something. But I didn't do anything! She's probably just annoying, and sad that nobody even likes her.
"What if I'd simply told you to 'go outside and play, or else'? What would I be feeling then?"
The sudden chill that invaded Minkkit's chest was sickening. Her mother still had the same sweet smile on her face, her tone plain and steady. But her eyes... Something about her eyes made Minkkit's insides curl. That would mean she wants me to go outside. But she already told me to go outside, and I didn't go, and she got mad, so... Mad? That seemed like an okay answer. But something about her mother's words made Minkkit really not want to give just an okay answer. What does she mean 'or else'? Or else what? Or else she'll... be sad? She wouldn't be happy. I-I don't know! That didn't feel like an acceptable answer. 'I don't know' felt like the worst possible answer, actually. As Minkkit's eyes dropped to the ground, she knew the true worst answer would be silence.
"I... I... I don't think I would know what you were feeling, Mama." Her ears tipped back, and she fixed the ground with the blankest stare she could muster. Her belly felt like it had shriveled away into nothing.
"Oh, chin up, my dear. Right again." The rumbling purr jarred Minkkit enough that she raised her head. I'm... I'm right? 'Course I'm right! Her mama had raised her to be smart. Er... What does it mean that I'm right? Thankfully, her mother chose to elaborate.
"Actions are loud, obvious. Look at the way almost any cat in this camp acts, and you'll know who they are, what they mean, how they're feeling. For most cats. their actions will give away their intentions every time. Look at Doekit. She's a silly child, laying out her intentions in a neat little line for you. That's what a fool does, Minkkit. Now, if she finds you later and apologizes, will you forgive her?"
"I- er, well..." Minkkit paused, face scrunched up. She'd already announced that no, she would not be forgiving Doekit, or Fennelkit, not now and not ever! But... It would be kind of boring to hate her forever. Plus all the warriors make a big deal out of getting along with your clan mates aaalll the time. Maybe this was a trick question. After another moment of thought, Minkkit spoke.
"I... Maybe? If she meant it, I guess I could forgive her." It's just the right thing to do. Isn't it?
"Then you're as big a fool as she is."
Huh??
"Words can mean anything, my little one, anything the speaker wishes them to mean. If that cat is clever, they can use their words to lie to you. With enough confidence, obvious lies can become undeniable truths." Now her mother's eyes were crackling, glazing over as she gazed over the young girl's shoulder. It was the look her mother got when thinking about Minkkit's father, whom she rarely ever spoke of and had forbidden Minkkit from asking about. Her eyes caught on the light glinting from her mother's flexed claws. With a lash of her tail, the queen focused on her again. "Words can be tricky. They can be sweet. They can tear another cat down just as effectively as claws and teeth. But only-" Her mother paused, crouching down to Minkkit's level. "Only if you're smart enough not to let your actions speak your intentions."
Again, Minkkit was thrown for a loop. She was desperate to understand, for this was the most attention her mother had ever given her since she had weened. But her words weren't making quite enough sense anymore. "But, but I thought you said actions are loud, and always show what another cat is thinking?" The question burst out of her before she could squish it down. Mousebrain! You just need to think about it harder, what she's saying would probably be obvious even to Doekit. Prepared for reprimanding, she was surprised when her mother merely nodded and sat up.
"I did say that, and it's true. For most cats. Ordinary cats grow up to be obvious. When they're sad, they cry. When they're happy, they smile. It makes them weak, and predictable. " While her mother's gaze twinkled, Minkkit nodded slowly. I think I get it... I've seen Fennelkit cry to his mama a bunch, so I try not to make him said 'cause I know he'll tell on me. The opposite was true for Minkkit, she would rather drink ShadowClan marsh water before she told on another kit. Did Doekit notice that? Is that why she pushed me, and not Fennelkit? She knew I wouldn't get her in trouble? The young molly could feel her blood heating. That's so unfair! Her mother was still speaking, and Minkkit did her best to ignoring the bubbling and listen.
"But some of us, those who are smart and special, learn how to act in ways that hide our true feelings. We pay attention to ordinary cats, so that we know who they are, but we never let them know us back. We just let them think they know us. Then, with enough clever words, we can make truth out of anything we like. Some special cats, the very best, can use what we learn from ordinary cats to our advantage. We can use them to make us stronger. We don't cry when another cat pushes us, because we already knew they would. We step out of the way as they lunge, and we push back twice as hard. When they threaten us, we push back with all the secrets we've learned. Staying one step ahead of everyone, even your own clan mates, is what differentiates a truly great warrior from a weak one.
Minkkit's eyes were shining as her mother finished speaking. I get it. I understand, Mama. She'd been weak today. She'd let Doekit know she was weak, and Doekit had taken advantage of that. Next time I won't let her. I won't let anyone push me again!
"So, Minkkit," her mother meowed. "Are you going to grow up to be ordinary?"
"Nuh uh," she crowed, leaping to her feet. "No way! I'm going to grow up to be the smartest, specialist cat in this whole clan!"
"Well done, my dear," her mother crooned, stooping to lick her ears once more. The sign of affection sent sparks through Minkkit's skin. Nothing would dampen her mood now, not even Doekit's stupid face or Fennelkit's annoying laugh.
"Go on, then. Talk to Doekit and Fennelkit. If they apologize, you smile and accept. But never turn your back on Doekit again. The next time she tries to push you, be ready." The queen stepped back into her nest, kneading the bedding as she settled in.
"Okay, Mama," Minkkit meowed, pressing her face into the molly's fur. "Bye!" She turned on her heel and marched out of the den. The sun was still blazing, but it was nothing compared to the fire her mother's speech had ignited in Minkkit's heart. I'm gonna make you so proud, Mama, I promise!
"Mama... Mamaaaa... Mama, I'm bored!"
The kitten padded in circles in the nursery, tail lashing the air. Bored, bored, bored. Hot, too. The thick, muggy air of late greenleaf was the worst. Her fluffy pelt didn't help in the slightest; every step beneath the sun's blaze felt like she was being breathed on by a dog. That's why she was here, stomping around the nursery in a huff. She sidled up to her mother's nest, poking at the mound of fur within.
"Minkkit, go play with the other kits. I'm trying to sleep through this heat, I am not here to entertain you."
"No!" Minkkit wailed, cornflower eyes flaring. "Doekit pushed me, and Fennelkit tried to hide it but I know he was laughing about it. So, so I hate them! And I'm never playing with them again." Her little limbs trembled as heat raced through her body. I bet Fennelkit wouldn't be laughing if I'd pushed him. I bet he'd cry to his mama, and get me in trouble! Which was not at all what Minkkit was doing. Her mama would never chastise another kit for her, because her mama knew she could handle herself. She just wanted someone else to play with besides two meanie kits. But her mother had not replied. With a huff Minkkit batted at her once more. "Mamaaaa-"
There was a blur of fur, and suddenly Minkkit's ears were ringing. She'd been knocked right on her rear too, and she sat quite still, blinking as the ringing in her ears turned into a burning heartbeat. Her mother stood over her now, tail snapping behind her. Her face was set like a stony, vacant statue.
"Ow!" The pain had not dulled Minkkit's tongue in the slightest. "You cuffed me!" She stared at her mother, waiting to hear whatever reason she had for it. That's not nice at all! The queen stared back, dark eyes seeming to search her.
"Do you know what it means that I cuffed you?"
The question baffled the child. Huh? 'Course I don't know. Thought you were gonna tell me. She considered entering a staring contest with her mother until she got an explanation. The older molly simply stared and stared until Minkkit began to squirm.
"Well, I dunno... it probably means that you're mad at me, 'cause I wouldn't stop bugging you or something." Actions meet consequences seemed to back her up there. But I only bugged you 'cause no one would play with me! Or, she wouldn't play with anyone else. Same difference. It seemed she'd chosen correctly, for her mother's stone gaze finally melted into a smile. The warmth of it was so intense it blocked out the burning in Minkkit's ear, and the kitten leaned forward eagerly.
"Very good," her mother purred, leaning down to lick her between the ears. Minkkit's heart swelled in her chest. Ha! Take that, Doekit. I bet you'd have said something dumb, like, like... something dumb.
"Because of my reaction, you knew exactly what I was feeling," the queen went on. Realizing she wasn't done, Minkkit tried to sit a little straighter, to show she was listening really hard. "It's easy to tell what someone is thinking if you follow their actions." That made sense to the kit, and she nodded along. Just like with Doekit. Maybe she was mad at me or something. But I didn't do anything! She's probably just annoying, and sad that nobody even likes her.
"What if I'd simply told you to 'go outside and play, or else'? What would I be feeling then?"
The sudden chill that invaded Minkkit's chest was sickening. Her mother still had the same sweet smile on her face, her tone plain and steady. But her eyes... Something about her eyes made Minkkit's insides curl. That would mean she wants me to go outside. But she already told me to go outside, and I didn't go, and she got mad, so... Mad? That seemed like an okay answer. But something about her mother's words made Minkkit really not want to give just an okay answer. What does she mean 'or else'? Or else what? Or else she'll... be sad? She wouldn't be happy. I-I don't know! That didn't feel like an acceptable answer. 'I don't know' felt like the worst possible answer, actually. As Minkkit's eyes dropped to the ground, she knew the true worst answer would be silence.
"I... I... I don't think I would know what you were feeling, Mama." Her ears tipped back, and she fixed the ground with the blankest stare she could muster. Her belly felt like it had shriveled away into nothing.
"Oh, chin up, my dear. Right again." The rumbling purr jarred Minkkit enough that she raised her head. I'm... I'm right? 'Course I'm right! Her mama had raised her to be smart. Er... What does it mean that I'm right? Thankfully, her mother chose to elaborate.
"Actions are loud, obvious. Look at the way almost any cat in this camp acts, and you'll know who they are, what they mean, how they're feeling. For most cats. their actions will give away their intentions every time. Look at Doekit. She's a silly child, laying out her intentions in a neat little line for you. That's what a fool does, Minkkit. Now, if she finds you later and apologizes, will you forgive her?"
"I- er, well..." Minkkit paused, face scrunched up. She'd already announced that no, she would not be forgiving Doekit, or Fennelkit, not now and not ever! But... It would be kind of boring to hate her forever. Plus all the warriors make a big deal out of getting along with your clan mates aaalll the time. Maybe this was a trick question. After another moment of thought, Minkkit spoke.
"I... Maybe? If she meant it, I guess I could forgive her." It's just the right thing to do. Isn't it?
"Then you're as big a fool as she is."
Huh??
"Words can mean anything, my little one, anything the speaker wishes them to mean. If that cat is clever, they can use their words to lie to you. With enough confidence, obvious lies can become undeniable truths." Now her mother's eyes were crackling, glazing over as she gazed over the young girl's shoulder. It was the look her mother got when thinking about Minkkit's father, whom she rarely ever spoke of and had forbidden Minkkit from asking about. Her eyes caught on the light glinting from her mother's flexed claws. With a lash of her tail, the queen focused on her again. "Words can be tricky. They can be sweet. They can tear another cat down just as effectively as claws and teeth. But only-" Her mother paused, crouching down to Minkkit's level. "Only if you're smart enough not to let your actions speak your intentions."
Again, Minkkit was thrown for a loop. She was desperate to understand, for this was the most attention her mother had ever given her since she had weened. But her words weren't making quite enough sense anymore. "But, but I thought you said actions are loud, and always show what another cat is thinking?" The question burst out of her before she could squish it down. Mousebrain! You just need to think about it harder, what she's saying would probably be obvious even to Doekit. Prepared for reprimanding, she was surprised when her mother merely nodded and sat up.
"I did say that, and it's true. For most cats. Ordinary cats grow up to be obvious. When they're sad, they cry. When they're happy, they smile. It makes them weak, and predictable. " While her mother's gaze twinkled, Minkkit nodded slowly. I think I get it... I've seen Fennelkit cry to his mama a bunch, so I try not to make him said 'cause I know he'll tell on me. The opposite was true for Minkkit, she would rather drink ShadowClan marsh water before she told on another kit. Did Doekit notice that? Is that why she pushed me, and not Fennelkit? She knew I wouldn't get her in trouble? The young molly could feel her blood heating. That's so unfair! Her mother was still speaking, and Minkkit did her best to ignoring the bubbling and listen.
"But some of us, those who are smart and special, learn how to act in ways that hide our true feelings. We pay attention to ordinary cats, so that we know who they are, but we never let them know us back. We just let them think they know us. Then, with enough clever words, we can make truth out of anything we like. Some special cats, the very best, can use what we learn from ordinary cats to our advantage. We can use them to make us stronger. We don't cry when another cat pushes us, because we already knew they would. We step out of the way as they lunge, and we push back twice as hard. When they threaten us, we push back with all the secrets we've learned. Staying one step ahead of everyone, even your own clan mates, is what differentiates a truly great warrior from a weak one.
Minkkit's eyes were shining as her mother finished speaking. I get it. I understand, Mama. She'd been weak today. She'd let Doekit know she was weak, and Doekit had taken advantage of that. Next time I won't let her. I won't let anyone push me again!
"So, Minkkit," her mother meowed. "Are you going to grow up to be ordinary?"
"Nuh uh," she crowed, leaping to her feet. "No way! I'm going to grow up to be the smartest, specialist cat in this whole clan!"
"Well done, my dear," her mother crooned, stooping to lick her ears once more. The sign of affection sent sparks through Minkkit's skin. Nothing would dampen her mood now, not even Doekit's stupid face or Fennelkit's annoying laugh.
"Go on, then. Talk to Doekit and Fennelkit. If they apologize, you smile and accept. But never turn your back on Doekit again. The next time she tries to push you, be ready." The queen stepped back into her nest, kneading the bedding as she settled in.
"Okay, Mama," Minkkit meowed, pressing her face into the molly's fur. "Bye!" She turned on her heel and marched out of the den. The sun was still blazing, but it was nothing compared to the fire her mother's speech had ignited in Minkkit's heart. I'm gonna make you so proud, Mama, I promise!
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