private IT'S BEEN A LONG, LONELY DECEMBER / burnpaw, moonpaw

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar remembers the heartbreaking decision his kits had been forced to make at the leafbare Gathering moons ago. He'd not expected Fireflypaw or Howlpaw to choose to leave ThunderClan and their kin, but he's been grateful to be able to see at least two of his kits every day, to watch their successes and failures and learn to become warriors. As they've grown into fine young cats, he's felt himself missing those whose progress he cannot observe. Burnpaw and Moonpaw are no doubt shaping up to be skilled hunters and fighters under Flycatcher and Raccoonstripe, but Blazestar aches to know the intricacies of their daily lives, how their training has shaped them, their fears and likes and dislikes.

He feels he has lost not one kit, but three, and even at Gatherings Blazestar rarely has time to speak with either of them. It's been a relatively peaceful meeting so far, and the Ragdoll takes the first opportunity he has to spot the black-pelted tom and his tortie pointed sister.

"Burnpaw! Moonpaw!" His eyes shine with happiness, his tail lifted as he trots toward the two of them. The last time he'd seen them, it had been to deliver unbearably cruel news -- Howlpaw had gone missing, and then he'd announced her death without ever being able to comfort them.

He yearns to touch noses with his son, who is nearly as big as his father with the same thick, ruffling coat and enormous paws. He is like the moonshadow to his sister's pale fur. He finds himself shocked to see how much she has begun to resemble him, too, in size and in features -- the blue of her eyes is achingly familiar, too. He wonders if this is how Morningpaw would have looked at Moonpaw's age. He can't imagine the star-bound twin having quite that aloof expression, but...

"I've been wanting to get you two alone for so long. Now that I finally have the chance..." He hesitates, realizing how awkward this conversation can become and how quickly. A father should know more about his children than Blazestar does about Burnpaw and Moonpaw, but that's out of his control now. "Tell me, how has your training been going? How are you liking your mentors?"

Ten moons now, he remembers. The realization shocks him. His kits are nearly adults, nearly warriors, and he has missed almost their entire lives.

@BURNPAW ! @Moonpaw​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

 

[BURNSTORM]

Burnpaw's feelings about his father are.. conflicted. In his mind are all these happy memories from back when he was a kit playing in SkyClan's camp, his second home. He remembers pouncing on that fluffy tail, holding it between paws that were just a little too big for him. 'he'll grow into them' he remembers someone saying once, and it seemed like it was true because soon, Burnpaw was towering over his mother and now, he almost stood nose to nose with his father. He is surprised, to say the least, to hear the flame point call his name. He turns around fast, like lightning, bright yellow eyes resting on the cat that, once upon a time, he had called dad. "Blazestar" he greets with a respectable dip of his head, not sure what else to do. Once, he would have buried himself in his fathers fur, like he had when he was a kit. But he wasn't. Not anymore. And Blazestar was more like a distant memory now. Little Wolf had lost her mate, her kits, but Burnpaw had lost too, they all had.

He shuffles his paws, uncertain of what would be the appropriate way to speak. How much of his training was he allowed to tell to a cat from a different clan. Secretly, he wishes Flycatcher were here. He could speak for him, tell his dad that his training was going fine. "It's good. I like Flycatcher he's cool I guess" is what he opts for instead. He still misses Emberstar, but Flycatcher was nice. He had taken over where his previous mentor had left off with ease. He was a little bit bummed that Roeflame wasn't training with him anymore, but he keeps these things to himself, wanting desperately for Moonpaw to speak so that he didn't have to. Stars, why did this feel so weird? "How's uh.." desperately he wracks his brain for something, anything "How's SkyClan?" he asks lamely, then adds bitterly to himself 'lose anymore cats?' He adverts his gaze to the floor, just in case Blazestar can see through his eyes and into his mind. ​

 

[Moonwhisper]

She can not help the flare of annoyance that surges through her as they are stopped from wandering away by the sound of their father's voice, cheerfully calling out to them and wanting to speak. Moonpaw turns stiffly, head lifted high in response rather than run for she had done enough running from her problems to last a lifetime and there was a challenging look to her gaze that honed in on her father's equally blue one. She had adapted without a father easily enough, plenty of cats didn't have both parents let alone missing only one so she was more than happy and grateful for her mother alone; that she still had to manage in the flame point's looming shadow was a little insulting at times given she wanted nothing more than to just exist without the reminder of what once was. The tortie point glances from side to side briefly, checking to see if any of her clanmates were staring too hard; wondering who she would need to remind later of where her loyalties truly lie, wondering who might whisper remarks of her kittypet blood once more, fouled by SkyClan's legacy.
"Blazestar." She greets and her tone is polite, but curt; perhaps too professional given her straight posture. Burnpaw awkwardly answers the question, glances at her as if hoping she will fill the void of silence and spare him and she does if only for her brother; otherwise she'd have walked away by now.
"Raccoonstripe is an excellent mentor. I've already fought in a battle and held my own." Against one of your ex-warriors, she wants to say. I have stood against SkyClan without falling, she longs to add. But Moonpaw does neither, Burnpaw has asked how SkyClan is and she finds she doesn't care truly. Anything about any other clan is the furthest from her mind, but she hears a gruff voice in her head whisper quietly to always claim an advantage if you see it. "...I suppose you must have your paws full training so many new, unskilled kittypets. I would not want to hold you up."

​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Neither kit seems happy to see him, and Blazestar deflates a little at the polite but deflecting tones they take with him. Burnpaw is slightly warmer than Moonpaw, but the way he shuffles his paws and avoids his father's gaze tells Blazestar how uncomfortable he is. "It's good. I like Flycatcher, he's cool I guess." A non-answer, really, but Blazestar grasps it with desperate paws. "It's an honor, being trained by the Clan's deputy," he says, trying for a purr. He swings his broad head Moonpaw's way, thick fur ruffled by a warm wind. "And a lead warrior," he adds.

Moonpaw's response to his question is cooler. The ice in her tone hurts Blazestar, but he struggles to maintain his smile. "Raccoonstripe is an excellent mentor. I've already fought in a battle and held my own." He recalls Howlingstar's news about the traitorous foxheart who'd abandoned his Clan and attacked his daughter unprompted. He clenches his teeth, anger flashing in his dark blue eyes. "I'm glad you handled yourself well. I never had any doubts you'd be fine warriors." He's sure the two of them had received plenty of ribbing growing up about their kittypet blood, their father's ineptitude, but Emberstar and then Howlingstar had seen to it they were trained efficiently.

He doesn't want to give any of the other forest-dwellers reason to doubt them, and he wishes his legacy wasn't a taint on their existence.

But he can't help that. He can't change who he is or what his roots are.

Burnpaw asks how SkyClan is. Blazestar brightens, but only a little. "Doing very well. We're about to have plenty of new kits. How are your... siblings," he asks awkwardly, thinking of Little Wolf's fatherless brood.

Moonpaw's comment is cutting. Blazestar visibly flinches. "I do have my paws full, always. And you know that." Desperation creeps into his voice, and he hates it -- he hates that he is pleading with them to love him again, but this is what it's come to. His actions have brought him to this point, and he has to accept it. "But I... I have always made time for my kits, where I could."

He blinks, rushing, "Remember when you were little, and Little Wolf would bring you all to SkyClan? And you would get into all sorts of trouble... you caused Dawnglare such headaches!" The memory is tainted, of course, with Morningpaw's presence, but he hopes reminding them of their short time as a family will soften their hearts toward him.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​