private it's quiet uptown ;; pollenfur.

[hyacinthbreath]

@POLLENFUR

She feels the very life leave her lungs as she steps out of the barn, following after that dangling red string of fate that tied their paws together. It tangles and twists, and yet Hyacinthbreath can still see so clearly despite the agony she felt. Pollenfur's tail whips in the wind, Hyacinthbreath catching up with her mate almost too quickly. "Please, Liebling." She gasps out, breathless. Desperate. Don't leave me, too. "I know it hurts, my love. I know. If anyone knows, it's me. Please talk to me, Pollenfur." Did she blame Hyacinth, for helping to bring these kits into the world? Or did she blame herself, for being unable to nurse them? Hyacinthbreath swallows back her own choked shriek, paws shaking with every step. She will fall apart, at this rate- being the strong one was always her burden, but tonight she would mourn.

"We will travel somewhere. Away from the Moors. Just for now. How does that sound? We could go anywhere." It's a desperate attempt to get Pollenfur to speak to her, to lean on her shoulder and share their pain with each other. Rage bubbles in her gut, but Hyacinthbreath hides it well. Look at me! The voice calls out, childish and angry. But Hyacinthbreath's face remains ever so neutral, never betraying the pain behind her eyes.

How could things go so wrong, what had they done to be punished like this?​

LONER ✦ WARTORN SOLDIER ✦ 57 MOONS ✦ TAGS​

 

[POLLENFUR]

Pollenfur’s children are gone. The first walks with the stars, little Rose, the one who escaped Clan life by only a few hours. Downy and Finch—now cursed with the moniker of kit, marked by Clan life—are being hauled back to Sootstar’s camp. She looks to the moor with desperation, her paws itching in a way she has not ever felt before. It’s more than she can bear. She wants to go—she wants to go so bad she aches with the desire, more than she does from her children’s birth, from their loss.

She hears pawsteps behind her and half-turns. Her mate’s voice beseeches her. “Please talk to me.” Pollenfur’s heart bends. “I’m sorry, Hyacinthbreath,” she says in a low, strained voice. “Stars… I never wanted this for us. For you. For our kits.” Her tail lifts, bristling. “I—I have to go, my love.”

It takes all she has in her to stay still, waiting for Hyacinthbreath to go.

“Leave me,” she sobs, soft and broken. “Leave me so I can go.” But she does not run, the way her heart bids her to. She cranes her neck around just enough to catch the anguish in her lover’s blue eyes.

A solitary tear slips from a tormented amber gaze. “Everything I wanted…” She stares at her mate with desolation searing her skin like a desert flame. “…It’s gone.”

✧ INFO.

•  
• 
  — pollen . pollenfur
  — she/her ; loner ; windclan warrior
  — pansexual ; taken by Hyacinthbreath
  — long-haired chocolate calico with amber eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — pixel by Birdman

​

 

[hyacinthbreath]

Hyacinthbreath's teeth grind together as tears slip past sapphire hues, the blue molly rushing over to Pollenfur's side to press her face into her mate's fur. Her paws lift up, gently caressing her mate's face for a moment before they settle on the ground once more. "If you are to go, I will come with you. Wherever you stray, I will follow. It is known, my love." She hiccups softly, sniffling back fat tears as she looks into her mate's eyes. Her barter to leave, to flee from this situation is palpable- Hyacinthbreath knows what it is like to want to flee from your problems. She'd done that when she stepped down from Lead Warrior, when she'd ran from Moonshadow and her kits, when she left Dovethroat and the others behind in RiverClan. She doesn't understand why she had to run, but it never made anything better.

One thing she did know was that if Pollenfur was there, she could go anywhere. Anywhere in this forsaken world.

"I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through right now, Pollen." And she couldn't- because while she was these kits mother, too, she hadn't given birth to them. She only had to blame herself for not being born a molly, unable to feed their kits herself. She, too, was part of the issue. Nonetheless, she settles her sorrowful gaze back onto her mate and pushes her forehead against Pollenfur's own. Inhaling her scent, shoulders shaking. "I only wish that we can get through this together. Can you do that with me, Pollenfur? Stay with me?" Tell me you'll stay. She thinks to herself desperately, grinding her teeth against the inside of her cheek anxiously. Scarred muzzle trembles as she tries her best to stay together- she couldn't lose Pollenfur, too. Not at this point, when she'd lost everything she loved. All she has left is Pollenfur and her kits, and she couldn't see the latter often- if at all. ​

LONER ✦ WARTORN SOLDIER ✦ 57 MOONS ✦ TAGS​

 

[POLLENFUR]

She listens to Hyacinthbreath’s promise—If you are to go, I will come with you. Her mate’s breath is warm and sweet against her face, and it reminds her again of the kits they’ve lost. She shudders, her fur fluffing up as though a leafbare wind is ravaging this wasteland they stand in. “Can we go? Can we go together—somewhere, anywhere, I don’t care.” The sorrow in her voice is deep and thick, like honey that refuses to soothe her throat. “We can come back in three moons…”

In three moons, her kits will be apprentices. It’s hard to imagine now, but they’ll be permitted to leave the gorse-protected camp, will be shown the borders—the Horseplace border, in particular. Perhaps they’ll have kind-hearted mentors who will allow them to say hello to old kin, and if not… if not, Brightshine, Heavy Snow and Lilacstem would help Pollenfur and Hyacinthbreath see their kits.

“…In three moons, we can return to this cursed place,” she whispers. “Until then, can you take me away from here? Can you help me forget?”

She buries her face into Hyacinthbreath’s neck, her grief swallowing her alive.

ooc ✧ 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒷𝑒𝒹

•  

• 

• 

  — pollen . pollenfur
  — she/her ; loner ; windclan warrior
  — pansexual ; taken by Hyacinthbreath
  — long-haired chocolate calico with amber eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — pixel by Birdman

​