i've been holding onto you | chitter

[Needledrift]

The excitement of reuniting with Chittertongue had obliterated any other feeling except exhaustion. After months of searching and grieving and overwhelming herself, Chittertongue was back. She couldn't be happier, in truth, but truths did not feel very different from fiction in the presence of ShadowClan's current climate. Chittertongue was back, but his return would not reverse Sabletuft and Granitepelt and Siltcloud's crimes. He couldn't bring back Ghostpaw - either of them - or Heavybranch or any cat that ShadowClan had lost over the past few seasons. So much death and loss... still, couldn't she just enjoy the things that StarClan had chosen to bless her with... just for a moment? Before the gloom settled back into her mind? Yes... instead of worrying over which cat would be the next target of Siltcloud's ire, she would focus on Ferndance and their kits and...

Chittertongue.

"You know, we were already sharing a nest before you got snatched. I can get you some rat-tails and some junco feathers... make it feel like yours again...." Something in her voice wavered a little at the suggestion, as if she felt silly just suggesting a shared bed (which she did, but she would not admit it outright.) It was a silly notion, feeling awkward about nesting with a cat she felt so comfortable with. Under normal circumstances, it would be a non-issue in her mind. But now, now that he was here, all Needledrift wanted to do was crawl into his skin and make herself a home in his chest, right next to his heart so she could be sure it wouldn't stop beating - it would be just her luck that Chittertongue would return to her and then just stop breathing in his sleep, just as easily as Heavybranch did. @CHITTERTONGUE speech is in #B9D0F5​

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[CHITTERTONGUE]

જ➶ Stepping back into camp had been strange and even more so the tales that he heard as he tried his best to forget what happened to him. Learning about Granitepelt and his sibling set his paws on fire. The twisting sound coming out of his throat would not stop and he wanted to find him. He wanted to go and sink his claws into that pile of rat droppings and flay him alive. Why not? Why? That was his sister, his sister. Young and fragile and he sought to manipulate her. Did manipulate her. And those kits. His eyes burned with a wild fire and he couldn't look at them the same. His mind swirls with thoughts before one stands out clearly. The body of one apprentice laying crumpled on the Thunderpath. Oh. Oh. His fire pitters out and he shakes his head. Over and over as if he can dislodge the memories. He did the right thing. Yes. Of course. He hated her and his family is important. Now he is trying to find a stable step. And slipping into the warrior's den his eyes alight upon Needledrift.

She speaks of the nest they were sharing, the time they had. He sighs softly and he can tell she is trying her best to find that normalcy again. Everything is different and it hurts. "A few of those would be nice. Maybe we can find some beaks too? Teeth?" He likes to play with the rat teethes he finds. Gently he leans down and presses his head against her own before he sits down and curls his tail around his paws. "I didn't think...things would be so different. So much pain...cats missing. Ah, but I guess I should have known better." ​

 

[Needledrift]

"I know what you mean." Death had always surrounded ShadowClan in a way, since its very inception. The Clans had been conceived from blood and corpses at the roots of Fourtrees. Chittertongue's father and Needledrift's brother had been buried beneath the same roots while their fellow soldiers went on to create RiverClan and WindClan and... ShadowClan.... of course...

That was where it was supposed to stop. All the killing. All the hatred. It was supposed to stop with StarClan, with the code, with the leaders and medicine cats. But nothing ever stopped in ShadowClan. Nothing ever really got better, did it?

"I can find teeth or beaks or teethed beaks or beaked teeth or something. Something that isn't larkspur or lavender or rosemary or some stupid herb that reminds me of more dead bodies and cats we've lost." speech is in #B9D0F5​

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