pafp i've got nothing to stop me || reminiscing ?

[loampelt]

It isn't so uncommon to not be clanborn or even marshborn in ShadowClan, even if those who hold such status carry a certain pride in it with them. As Loampaw understands it, in the not so distant past ShadowClan hadn't yet been born, and the rules of the group that would later birth ShadowClan were looser. Cats without what would become ShadowClan blood came into the fold at this time, or in the time shortly after ShadowClan's arrival.

Loampaw understands himself to be an exception to a rule — brought in out of pity after the borders had closed, having been deemed too young to survive on his own.

"Not that not being n-nuh-nuh-not — not — not clanborn matters," Loampaw grimaces (how many negatives made it positive, and how many did it take too loop back around into negatives again?) but doesn't slow in his current chatter, too excited at the current topic of conversation, "T-tuh-take me f-fuh-for example — 'm practic-tic-tically the most ShadowClan cat huh-here, and I-eee-uh was born—" Loampaw's nose crinkles. He doesn't dwell on it, "—wasn't buh-born anywhere around here."

@. Heathershade . ​

tags ∘ shadowclan apprentice ∘ solid black with hazel eyes ∘ curled front foot ∘ 12 moons​

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[. Heathershade .]

Heathershade wasn’t quite sure how she had found herself so engaged in this conversation with Loampaw, but that isn’t the thought that crosses her mind as she lightly nods along with what the apprentice is saying.
She hadn’t been born in Shadowclan either, in fact if she had been any older when she stumbled across the marshes, the likely of her being a warrior right now was slim to none.
"I wholeheartedly agree. I was born.. well, far far away from here myself." She hums from where she rests on her stomach, pastel eyes drifting around in quiet thought as she looks between each Shadowclanner nearby. "The term clan-born is too new to truly have any weight, our own seasoned warriors come from many different backgrounds." She muses, expanding on Loampaws thought.
Soon, though, her gentle gaze is turned back towards the tom. "Where were you born? It sounds like you had to make quite the journey to Shadowclan." She now asks. Loampaw was young, though not too much than her, but if his claims of being born from a far away land are true, his story was one that deeply intrigued the chimera.

"Speech."​

[ COCOA BUTTER KISSES ]​

 

[SHARPSHADOW]

† Sharppaw was born in the marsh. He didn't feel any more or less special for it, and he didn't think many oters did either... It was loyalty, that mattered more. Misplaced, maybe. Those who weren't attached to it like marsh - born cats were might (rightfully and unfairly) up and leave one day. Sharppaw could not blame them, but he could hate them for it. Sharppaw doesn't really care about where either of them had come from. Loampaw is Loampaw. Heathershade is... her. Sharppaw looks on at Loampaw with an odd look. " The most ShadowClan? " What did that even mean? How did you even judge that? If you're dark-furred and smell the worst and love to eat Carrion and betray others?

OOC † IN THE MIRROR 07.07.2023

• OOC: —
  
•  

• SHARPPAW: brother to Rookpaw. Mentored by Smogmaw
  —— he / she , no pref , icked by they prns ; fine with gendered terms ( tom, molly, etc... )
  —— currently 13 moons old. warrior ceremony delayed due to lackluster progress.
  
  anxious, antisocial, paranoid. Sharppaw is a creature living in constant fear. Most thoughts are irrational, but consistent in that they are borne from pessimism and generalized anxieties.
  — In an era of assessing what has set him back and figuring out what he wants.

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[orchidbloom]

Orchid had been born in Shadowclan, to two marsh-born warriors. Rosesky and Sagepond, mama and papa, she had come from a long-line of soldiers cause her grandma and grandpa were marsh-group warriors too. But unlike others, especially unlike their sister Tulippaw, they do not carry their lineage around with pride. No, its just too big of paws to fill for them and it leaves them petrified to even think about it.

And yet they find themselves in the conversation. Not... Talking in it, but observing from what they thought was a safe distance. Sharppaw asks a question that Orchid finds themselves wondering about too. Oh, does that mean they didn't look like a Shadowclanner, didn't act like one if Loampaw was the most Shadowclan? Black fur, yellow eyes, uhm... They don't remember much of how Loampaw acted. What was the criteria to be a Shadowclanner, after all? Dread settles within their stomach and chest, making them feel heavy, an emotion that paralyzed them so many times before. Would Forestshade be mad that they potentially did not fit it? Did Orchid not fit in at all? "W-What?" cause they remember Heathershade saying that being clan-born is too new to have weight. It's a blessing and a nightmare wrapped up in one. Heathershade also asked where Loam was born. Perhaps the answer to 'being the most Shadowclan' lays within his birthplace. Orchidpaw feels too sick about the current conversation to muster up the courage to get up and leave, but also lacks the strength to add to the conversation. Oops.​

"speech"​

 

[loampelt]

Where were you born? Heathershade asks as if it isn't such a troubling thing for Loampaw. His expression falls into a rarely worn frown that then bounces away into something more playful at Sharppaw's incredulous reply.

"The m-mmm-most," Loampaw agrees with a grin to Sharppaw and a wink to Orchidpaw. If neither of them liked it they would just need to learn how to cope with it.

But Heathershade's question sticks to Loampaw. He could brush past it, he knows, and conversation could move on as if she hadn't ever asked. Maybe she would notice Loampaw's avoidance, but would the others? Would she press the issue? Loampaw reaches for a memory, something to offer Heathershade, just to prove that he can, and finds that it sits out of reach for him. Bothersome, stretching his paw for something just out of his grasp; Loampaw imagines he can feel the edge of it if extends his toes. He imagines himself trying to grasp it with his claws and in his attempt, pushing it further away.

"Don't really... know w-wuh-where I-eee-uh came from," Loampaw settles on, "Buh-buh-but I-eee-uh was just uh-a kit then, so eh-eh-it's normal t-tuh-to not remember." He doesn't mean to sound so defensive — so forceful. ​

tags ∘ shadowclan apprentice ∘ solid black with hazel eyes ∘ curled front foot ∘ 12 moons​

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[✧ Siltcloud.]

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SOUL ( CAN YOU FILL IT ? )
siltcloud | 14 months | female | she/her | physically medium | mentally hard | attack in bold #905d5d

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Siltcloud is never one to shy away from agreeing with her friends - and taking their sides. Of course, the number of friends has all but dwindled down to one - to only loampaw himself. "Of course loam is the most shadowclan" certainly more than you goes left unsaid, but something about the way she says it certainly seems to leave it implied. She thinks very little of sharppaw after all - theres no point in hiding it. "I've... only ever known shadowclan," and really, it's all she cares to know. She cannot see herself turning traitor - not like sandra, bonefang, not like her mentor. Even with ghostpaw and poppypaw dead and gone, she still has loam, still has granite - and soon enough she will have more family to tie her down.

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