private JUST SO I COULD CALL YOU MINE \ crabpaw

Crabpaw was her special kit, her lastborn, the son she had named for her love of RiverClan. Cragpaw and Pinepaw's names had come from her journey into the mountains, from the memories she shared with Stormywing, but uniquely, he is hers and hers alone. She'd labored to bring him into this world, had placed him delicately beside his siblings, had watched him grow from a kit who was afraid to watch an injured bird die into an apprentice who could hold his own in battle. She had seen him, grappling with that ThunderClan apprentice, and though her pride in him has diminished due to the circumstances, she seeks him out...

He's not hard to find. His pelt is bright as Ferngill's, tempered only by the swirls of cream. Iciclefang licks her lips before she approaches him. Crabpaw has always, more than either of her other children, yearned for her approval, her affection, and she has, against her judgment sometimes, given it to him even when he didn't deserve it.

But Crabpaw had proved himself to be a formidable fighter in this battle, and he had made his Clan proud. Even in the wake of all the terrible things that had happened, Iciclefang wants to be the one to tell him that.

"Crabpaw?" She smiles. It's smooth, cool, as though her world hasn't been shattered — as though there isn't hell to pay on her horizon when Lichenstar learns the truth and is well enough to administer justice. "I wanted to... to come see you. I know you fought like a warrior in that battle. I saw you, with that apprentice." She goes for a risky move — she attempts to lick one flame-colored ear. "I'm so proud of you. Do you know that?"

  • ooc: @CRABPAW
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  • Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
    — “speech”, thoughts, attack
    — 29 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
    — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
    — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
    — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
    — penned by Marquette.

    sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.


 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 He feels… lost. Since the revelation of his heritage—his real heritage—nothing in Crabpaw’s life feels normal. None of it feels real, sometimes. It’s as though he’s walking around in another cat’s body, viewing without intervention. He feels like he’s been set adrift in a fast-moving river, and the current is dragging him under. There’s water closing in over his head, bubbles trailing from his nose to the surface; the tightness in his chest won’t ease, no matter how much he tries to ignore it.

His mama lied to him. For his entire life. It doesn’t make him want to hiss at her and refuse her company like Pinepaw does—but he’s not her apprentice, so he doesn’t know what his littermate experienced during her training. Whatever reasons Pinepaw has, though, the boy supports her. She’s hurting, and she just lost… a whole eye. She could yell at him right now, and he’d only tuck himself closer to her, offer his comfort when words don’t help.

The tortoiseshell who approaches him isn’t his sister, but he still finds himself wishing he could press in close to her flank and just ignore the world for a while. She’d betrayed them all before they were even born, but she’s still the greatest source of comfort he’s ever known. He feels conflicted now, as he wishes to be comforted by the same cat who hurt him so much. "Um… hi," he says in response to her greeting, his tail coiling itself tight around his ginger form. Iciclefang wants to talk, to tell him about how she saw him during the battle and how proud she is of him. It’s strange, how quickly he’d forgotten about the ThunderClan apprentice. She meant nothing, and still means nothing, because he’d let her run away in the end. He let her go.

I’m so proud of you, his mama says. And there has never been a time in his life that Crabpaw hasn’t sought her attention, her affection, her praise. But now that he’s gotten it for something that she should be proud of… why does it feel so wrong? He doesn’t flinch away from the gentle touch to his ear, but his entire form stiffens. Why is she telling him this now, giving him gentle encouragement even after he’s found out the truth? The thought turns his stomach—his mama hates cross-clan kits. She’d hated Splashdance when the molly first joined. "Do you hate me?" He blurts out, unable to hold it in silence any longer. "Because I’m not a RiverClanner like you." A RiverClanner like you, he says, and means a RiverClanner whose existence is against StarClan.

  • ooc:
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  • CRABPAW 𓆝 he/him, apprentice of riverclan
    𓆟 ginger and cream tabby with rippling white spotting and mossy green eyes. highly emotional and difficult to keep focused on one subject.
    𓆟 mentored by cicadaflight
    𓆟 son of iciclefang & stormywing ; brother to cragpaw & pinepaw
    𓆟 peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    𓆟 penned by foxlore
 
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