keep on, keeping on | pebble

[Flycatcher]

Whilst Flycatcher had been happy to assist with picking up some extra duties whilst Howling Wind was recuperating, he was not blind to the fact that his relationship with Moth's children had been neglected. He had tried of course to check in when he was able to but it was not as much as he might have liked. Now that Howling Wind was back in action he finally felt as though he had enough time to sit down and have a proper talk. Flycatcher had hoped to talk to all three of them together, but finding the time to do so when they all had their individual training was a bit of a nightmare. However, Pebblepaw appeared to be free that morning, so simply speaking with his nephew would suffice.

"Hello, Pebblepaw," He called in greeting as he approached the younger tom. "Do you have time to speak?"

@PEBBLEPAW retro to ember dying </3 ​

 

[PEBBLESTEP]

As an apprentice, spare time felt like wasted time. His mentor hadn't assigned him to anything yet that day and Pebblepaw's paws felt as if they were infested with ants - how anyone could relax when there was so much that they needed to improve on was beyond him. Still, the lilac tom tried. He used his restless legs to create a path for a pillbug, which was very lost and very sick in the cold, blocking it from taking the wrong direction and winding up in an even earlier grave. They were a few mouse lengths away from the apprentice's tree stump when a voice caused Pebblepaw to jump into the air, abandoning his quest hastily as he spun around to face whoever needed him. His rattled fur flattened when Flycatcher entered his view, sighing in relief that it was just his uncle greeting him. Copper eyes briefly returned to the ground to find his wayward insect friend, when the louse was nowhere to be found, he could only presume that it had found his home - or he'd accidentally yeeted it halfway across the camp. 'Bugs don't feel pain' he tried to reassure himself, smiling politely towards the lead warrior. Hopefully.

He offered a quick nod, keeping his burning ears upright for now. "O-oh, um... of course. I was kinda meaning to talk to you about something too eventually..." Pebblepaw loved his uncle, but it was hard to deny that clanlife had taken them in different paths, to the point where even scheduling a conversation with him felt like climbing a mountain. He blamed himself more than anyone else, if he was better at time management, or a better apprentice, perhaps it would be easier to talk to those he cared for. Alas, he'd get there in the end, he just didn't know when. Pebblepaw's eyes widened for a moment, finding the second-long silence awkward. Fox-dung, who was supposed to start this talk? "You go first though, it's ok. What did you want to talk about?"



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[Flycatcher]

"You wanted to speak with me?" Flycatcher mewed, inclining his head to the side as he spoke. Despite this his nephew was content to put that aside for the moment, allowing his uncle to speak first. "Don't worry, it's nothing serious," He assures him with a gentle laugh. Flycatcher sits down on the ground and with a tilt of his head gestures for Pebblepaw to sit with him. "I wanted to see how you were doing, how your training was doing. It has been a while since we had a good catchup."​

 

[PEBBLESTEP]

Lilac ears relaxed somewhat when it was confirmed the conversation wouldn't be serious, with his smile widening in acknowledgment, Pebblepaw settled by his uncle. It felt nice to be close to family again after devoting so much spare time to improving himself, he just hoped his efforts had been enough to get him through the next few moons. "My training? Oh, um..." Pebblepaw's paws fidgeted, kneading the snow and soil together as they considered the question. Fawncloud believed it was fine as far as he knew, but he didn't know if his mentor was saying it to be nice or if the apprentice had genuinely improved. "It's fine... I think? Stormy's got a better hang of being a wildcat though... but I do like it out here it's just..." Instinctively, his tail wrapped tightly around himself, trying to find the right words to say to the lead warrior. His fears seemed silly the more he lingered - he was related to a notorious ThunderClan cat, as noble as a lion and as brave as a tiger. Patronage could've kept him in ThunderClan even if skill couldn't, but he still worried about what happened if the status quo changed, and that alone wasn't enough to let him stay wild and free.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, copper eyes wide as he stared at Flycatcher. "I'm worried... about my place in the clan. Emberstar was nice enough to let us in but... I know cats aren't always great to those who were kittypets and if my... um, my training doesn't go well enough, they're gonna kick me out, aren't they?" Their voice shook at the possibility, enough for the apprentice's jaws to snap shut as stared, hopeful that that wouldn't be the case.





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[Flycatcher]

Flycatcher would have been lying if he said he wasn't a little disheartened to hear that Pebblepaw seemed unsure of how well his training was going. Given his background, it wasn't entirely a surprise that Pebblepaw and his siblings had struggled to adjust and worried about their place in the clan.

When his nephew expresses his concern, Flycatcher tilts his head sympathetically. "No, they're not going to kick you out," Flycatcher assured him with a gentle smile. "We all have our different strengths in the clan. It does not matter if you are as good as other warriors. So long as you put in the effort and are willing to protect the clan and your clanmates with all that you've got, Emberstar and Howling Wind would not kick you out. If they can see you trying what reason would there be to kick you out?"​

 

[PEBBLESTEP]

He wanted it to be more relieving to hear from Flycatcher that he wouldn't be kicked out, he wanted this to be the conversation that would kick that 3 moon long woe in the teeth and make sure it never surfaced again but... doubt still trickled in the back of his mind. It would take time for the lilac tom to accept that he had a place in ThunderClan, perhaps even longer than it would take for the clan to forego his and his sibling's origins. "I... I see your point." Pebblepaw nodded, tilting their head a little higher all the same. 'Try hard and protect the clan and your clanmates with all you've got', he repeated, smiling slightly. That was his goal already, that meant he was halfway there, right? He just needed to put in the effort to catch up with his peers, a prospect that still felt like an immense hurdle after being slightly behind on training. "I'm sorry, it must sound like a ridiculous thing to be worried about." They laughed it off nervously, the noise sounding dry and forced. "You're an amazing warrior, I just... I don't want to disappoint the clan by being any less than that too. "

He paused and considered, was it disappointing the clan he was afraid of, or disappointing himself? The lilac tom's pupils narrowed at the thought and with vigor, he shook his head as if trying to rid the prospect through force. He would unpack that latter if he had the time, for now, he had an uncle to speak to. "Speaking of amazing warrior, um..." Desaturated paws tapped the ground, deciding they'd spent enough time talking about themself but not knowing how to address their next question to Flycatcher. The male's narrow head tilted at an upwards angle. "I don't think mom ever said how you ended up in ThunderClan. If she did... well, it's been some time. Is... Is that a story you can share with me?" He felt guilty for it, but the passage of time fogged his memories of his mother, from the inflections in her voice to the little details on her face, it all became muddled the more he devoted himself to ThunderClan. Conversations he'd once held dear were becoming more and more contorted, Pebblepaw hoped he could see her again before she faded away entirely. Expectantly, he watched Flycatcher in hopes of receiving an answer.



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[Flycatcher]

"It's not ridiculous," Flycatcher assured him, his voice taking on a more serious note for a moment. "I think its perfectly natural to have those concerns given the circumstances." Pebblepaw and his siblings may have been Flycatcher's kin, but because of their former kittypet roots, there would always be some clanmates who looked down upon them simply for where they came from. At his nephew's compliment, Flycatcher ducked his head away in embarrassment. "I wish I was amazing as you and your sisters saw me," Flycatcher said softly.

"Well, ThunderClan didn't exist when your mother still roamed these lands," Flycatcher chuckled, when Pebblepaw asked about how he came to ThunderClan. The lead warrior looked at his nephew for a moment, wondering how much Moth had spoken of their past. When he had met her, it seemed like she had largely left behind that part of her life. Though he recalled that she liked to come back to the forest to clear her mind, especially after the loss of her firstborn son, Reed. "To be honest with you I'm not really sure why I joined," Flycatcher admitted, laughing out how silly that sounded out loud. "I could have joined any of the clans when they were formed, but there was something about Emberstar and her convictions that just drew me to her and this place. It took a while to settle but I'm glad I did."​