private KEEPING ON THE NIGHT LIGHT [✦] chilledstar


The meeting is long over, and ShadowClan's newest warrior has moved out of the apprentice den, while it's gaggle of new apprentices still settle in the ever-cramped shelter. Still, Eeriepaw's mind churns, thinks too much of those who should've been warriors.

Ghostpaw, Poppypaw, Tornadopaw. Though they might not have been friends in their star-captured eyes, the three might have been the closest to any semblance of friends the void-furred tom had in his early days as a ShadowClan cat. Ghostpaw and Tornadopaw — the two were the first faces he'd seen when he'd woken up in a strange new world, a nursery he'd not begun his slumber with. And Poppypaw, though he'd always thought of her as too loud, ShadowClan is still too quiet without her.

The fact that the trio were all slain by the same cat, that Granitepelt is the cause of his closest peers' deaths, has been the focus of his mind since the revelation. The three will never have warrior names, and he won't either, if his lack of star-marks prevails into something gruesome — if immortality truly isn't meant for him. He wants to earn his name for them, wants to honor them and become a warrior when they will never.

And if not for them, for Caterpillarpaw. To keep his mentor's shadow safe — to be able to train the blind apprentice, should something happen to Lilacfur. It's the least he can do, to make sure Siltcloud never harms the patch-furred cat. Spectermask would prefer that, he thinks.

Spindly limbs near the leader's den, slowing to a stop at the root-curved mouth at the base of the hulking oak tree. He pokes his head in, dark eyes searching the darkness for black and white fur. He has to take this into his own paws, now, has to speak to them for any semblance of answers — an urge toward progress.

" Chilledstar? " he slowly asks, a paw stepping into the den. " A word, please? "​
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  • // @CHILLEDSTAR.
  • 74597010_gbJle40pG2JetDM.png
    ???EERIEKITEERIEPAW
    ── Apprentice of ShadowClan

    ── ??? x ???
    ── AMAB; He/Him
    ── A spindly black tom with unblinking, dark brown eyes.
    ── Mentored by Spectermask
    ── "Speech"; Attack
 
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DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

the meeting left them drained to say the least. their paws twitched as they gently kneaded their nest, though not because they were feeling comfortable. no. they were anxious. they'd died in here, again. they wonder how much of a habit that's going to be before their last life is ripped from them. would their place of sleep become their new graveyard? their gaze lowered as they slowly begin to tear fully at the lining on their nest. they hardly even hear when eeriepaw walks into the entrance of their den. they clenched their jaw as they spun to face the apprentice, tail twitching back and forth nervously.

"oh, uhm... yeah, of course. come on in."

they furrowed their brows, sitting up with a breath out.

"what do you need, kiddo?"
 

Obsidian paws step further into the shadows of the leader's den upon Chilledstar's granted permission, umber gaze darting around the new surroundings.

He's only ever spared glances toward the den before, only peered into its entrance while awaiting the ShadowClan leader. It's empty, far emptier than the apprentice den, but even so, the senior apprentice doesn't think he'd find comfort within it. Death's scent still lingers in the air, another victim claimed by Granitepelt — one less life for Chilledstar to carry with them.

"What do you need, kiddo?"

His gaze shifts to look at the black and white leader, at Spectermask's friend. He was smaller than them — than both of them — once, he remembers, but those days are long gone now, hidden in his first moons of apprenticeship. It's been so long now, and yet, he still carries an incomplete name. Dark eyes catch sight of the still-healing wounds crossing over the star-marked face before him; a marring done by exiled claws, a permanent reminder of the stone-furred blight that no longer shelters in the marshes.

" I want — " Eeriepaw starts his inquiry, only to stop before he can truly begin. The tom is typically careful with his words, and want sounds too desperate. Too whiny, like some of the youngest apprentices he's been forced to share a den with.

I wanna be a warrior! the tom can imagine someone like Screechpaw saying — protesting with stomping paws, a frown on his sun-splotched face. He is not Screechpaw, but Eeriepaw wonders if he's no better than him; being here now, stepping above his own mentor to ask such a question.

He takes a breath, focuses on the matter before him. If he doesn't ask now, then Screechpaw and his siblings — stars, even Halfshade's second litter — may become warriors before him. If he doesn't ask now, he may be an apprentice forever, become lost to the stars without a warrior name of his own. Just like Ghostpaw, like Poppypaw, like Tornadopaw.

" I need to become a warrior, " he states, words carefully placed together in their slowed pace. His own tail twitches with his own set of nerves, the thin appendage moving to wrap around his paws as he sits. " Soon. How do I do that? " ​
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  • 74597010_gbJle40pG2JetDM.png
    ???EERIEKITEERIEPAW
    ── Apprentice of ShadowClan

    ── ??? x ???
    ── AMAB; He/Him
    ── A spindly black tom with unblinking, dark brown eyes.
    ── Mentored by Spectermask
    ── "Speech"; Attack
 
DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

"...a warrior?"

they don't know why that invokes so much fear into them. why they're scared of him to become a warrior... maybe it's just easier to see him like this. young and not quite ready to take on the world. but eeriepaw hasn't been young for a while. they're waiting for spectermask to sign off, bur he hasn't. is he feeling the same things they are? the dread? the uncertainty? they need more warriors, they know that. so why can't they just let go? why don't they want to, when it comes to eeriepaw, or even emberpaw? they barely wanted to when it came to serpentspine, either.

"right... you are old enough, now. just... pass a hunting assessment. by... frostbite maybe? I'm not sure when I'll be out of this den but if I am by the time you're truly ready, I can supervise."

was that normally all it took? no. but eeriepaw was ready. learn to let go, chilledstar. he's ready. he's strong enough. they hope, at least.
 

Dark ears twitch at echoed words, a nod of the head following. " A warrior, " he confirms, the title slow and pronounced, as if Chilledstar hadn't heard him the first time. He stands before them as ShadowClan's oldest apprentice — perhaps ever — now. He is older than what Sharpshadow was when he received her name. Older than Serpentspine, than Chilledstar's own kin — their real kin.

And yet, he's still Eeriepaw: basically a warrior, but not quite.

" I am old enough. I have been old enough, " the dark tom tries to remind them, tries to implore reason for such a prolonged delay; one that he'd expected to halt long before now. Serpentspine is younger than me, he's about to add, but finds he doesn't need to. An answer is set before him, one simpler than he'd expected. Struck with surprise, rounded eyes blink.

" Hunting? " he echoes back. Is that all he's had to do, this whole time? A hunting assessment? How many catches ago could he have been made a warrior, if such a skill was the determination for his lack of a name? How many frogs could he bring back — how many could he have traded in for Tornadopaw, for Ghostpaw, for Poppypaw to earn their own names among the stars?

It is Frostbite that Chilledstar suggests lead his final test, supervision held by their gaze. The lack of his own mentor's name is not lost on him, and while the tom can't help the sinking feeling in his chest at the voidence, he nods his head all the same.

" I can do that, " Eeriepaw confirms to Chilledstar, spindled posture straightening as he looks to his leader in promise, " I can. Thank you. I'll do good. " ​
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  • 74597010_gbJle40pG2JetDM.png
    ???EERIEKITEERIEPAW
    ── Apprentice of ShadowClan

    ── ??? x ???
    ── AMAB; He/Him
    ── A spindly black tom with unblinking, dark brown eyes.
    ── Mentored by Spectermask
    ── "Speech"; Attack