private kill your heroes | moonpaw

[salmonshade]

She is no longer her apprentice. It has been that way for days, now, and in her absence she was gifted Bitepaw. Energetic, a handful, too much of one as cruel as she feels for thinking of such; Moonpaw had never been so full of boundless energy. And speaking of Moonpaw, Salmon decides today is the day to visit her, no more avoidance. She gathers flowers, something she knows her former adored. Adores? She frowns and gets to work, and then goes to find Moonpaw in the mouth of the medicine den.

The flowers, once woven in to her nest to make it pretty, are dropped in a peace offering, extending the olive branch once and for all. Salmonshade is not mad at her, nor was she ever, nor was she ever upset with her for making such a heavy choice. "Moonpaw." she greets her former apprentice with the same cool expression that she always wears, even, unbreaking. "I figured... You would enjoy these more than I would. Theres a lotus in there, somewhere." a white-tipped paw gestures to the carefully pressed flowers, preserved from time itself and the biting winds of winter. If only I can do that for myself. Something ugly twists in her stomach and threatens to rear its head, teeth, fangs gnashing.

Salmon had nothing else to say with the anxiety building within her chest. She turns away, gets ready to leave.

Or at least she thought she didn't. She hesitates as she turns her head back to stare, blue eyes flickering across her apprentices expression. Does Moonpaw feel just upset as her? No, no, surely not, surely not... She was chosen by Starclan, after all. The thought leaves a bitter taste on her tongue. "You'll do good. I know you will." her own voice surprises her; it sounds oddly quiet and vulnerable to a cat who has always been strong. Why am I so torn up over this? I have Bitepaw to train, now. Her ears pin back as she studies Moonpaw once more. Is it the loss of familiarity, a routine, an apprentice who actually listened or is it more than that? Do I care? I care. I care so much. "I'm... I'm very proud of you, Moonpaw. I always have been." her voice wavers and she falls silent. There is so much more she wishes to say- I am proud of you for making an independent choice, I am proud of you for healing our clan, I am proud of you for being my apprentice, I am so proud of you for how much you have grown since you were that tiny little kit.

She stays silent.

₊˚.༄ info

• @Moonpaw
• 
  -> salmon ,, salmonshade
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 32 months
  -> warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  -> "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  -> lesbian ,, single
  -> smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  -> chibi by pin
  

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[Moonbeam]

Moonpaw had been keeping her distance as well, noticing that for whatever reason Salmonshade had been seeming to avoid her. At first she'd thought that the other was upset with her for choosing to not be a warrior and instead going down the path of medicine, but she had ultimately decided to give the other space even if she had wanted to confront her. To ask her what she did and why she wasn't talking to her, but that was childish and despite her age Moonpaw had learned from Salmonshade herself that in times like this it was not a good time to be childish. So she stayed busy and kept her mind of stuff and waited to see if Salmonshade would come to her. She'd have to eventually after all, whether it be a stomach ache or a battle wound she knew Salmonshade would eventually have to seek out help, and hopefully when that time came she would want to talk as well.

Lucky was she that when her former mentor sought her out it was not due to injury or illness but instead for... flowers? The white apprentice picked up her head as she heard her name, surprise cast upon features for just a moment as she realized who it was that had said it. Eyes glanced towards the small pile of flowers as they were motioned to, a small "Thank you." Being spoken as she found the older moggie turning to leave. Though she knew she would enjoy the flowers she couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment flash through her that the other didn't want to speak more, though she said nothing but moved forward, ready to carefully sweep the flowers up and move them to her nest. Head snapped up once more when she hears Salmon's voice again and she pauses.

You'll do good. I know you will.

Eyes scan the other once more, emotions bubbling over and face uneasy to read. She was proud of her, not mad? Small tears welled in her eyes, relief and happiness flooding through her as she looked at the other, her own ears pinned to her head as she dared them to fall, willed them to stay where they were and recede once more. "You were a good mentor," She'd speak out, words spilling from maw as she carefully moved forward as if moving too quickly would scare of the cat she'd been wanting to talk to for days. "I don't think I would have picked anyone else even if I could." Then why did she still feel guilty, training under a new cat despite it being what she knew was best, what she knew was still as important as if she was still training to be a warrior?

I WISH PLANT LIFE ꕥ WOULD GROW ALL AROUND ME

• 

• MOONPAW formerly Ratpaw || NPC x NPC || sister to Rowanpaw || apprentice to Ravensong.
  -- She/Her || 8 moons old, ages every 17th
  -- smaller than average, small rounded ears. SH white masking cinnamon torbie with orange eyes.
  -- soft-spoken, often found humming, tries to comfort others by smiling

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[salmonshade]

The tears that wells in the others eyes nearly break what little composure she holds herself together with, oh, have I said something wrong? I do not blame her- She sharply inhales, hoping that the air breaching her lungs would help her feel just a little more alive in the moment. I do not blame her if she is upset with me. She cannot help the frown that begins to slowly twist her lips downward. But she moves forward and Salmon is so acutely aware of how small she looks before her. Shes grown, though, Stars... And she speaks.

You were a good mentor. Something wells within her and her eyes grow glassy, matching Moonpaws own. don't think I would have picked anyone else even if I could. Oh.... Her pelt prickles in slight embarrassment at her words. I will never have kits. She has resigned herself to this fact. But I love you like... a mother? Love is a complicated emotion. She does not know how to feel when she had practically watched the kitten grow in to a destiny that seems a little scary for her.

"I... I'll always be here if you need me, Moonpaw. Don't think that just because Ravensong is training you now, you can't come to me." her voice is gentle now, thick with emotion. "You made a very strong choice. And i'm very proud of you for that. If there was one thing I want you to remember from our outings, its that I want you to do what is right. And you did, and thats great." inwardly she cringes, she never was very good with any emotions. She's always considered herself quiet and loyal, knowing when to speak, knowing when not to and perhaps that is now why she feels so... weird. How is she supposed to express herself?

She hesitates and its obvious. A heartbeat goes by, two now, three, silence awkwardly hangs over her before she jerks her body in to motion. Stiffly does she place her chin on Moonpaws head, a broken purr rumbling in her throat. "You'll be a natural at this. Just like you were with warrior training."

₊˚.༄ info

• 
  -> salmon ,, salmonshade
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 34 months
  -> warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  -> "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  -> lesbian ,, single
  -> smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  -> chibi by pin

​

 

[Moonbeam]

Eyes flickered over the older moggie as she spoke once more, watched as she contemplated words and reacted to Moonpaw's own. Had she spoken the wrong things, scaring Salmonshade off for good where they would never speak to each other again, the other too upset for the abandonment that Moonpaw had done while speaking of being proud of her at the same time? Relief washed over her once more as she realized that was not the case and instead her former mentor offered her someone to speak to, someone to go to if she couldn't speak to Ravensong about something - or simply didn't want to for whatever reason. In response she nod her head quietly, a silent understanding of what was being said as emotions flood through her once more as Salmonshade mentioned once again how proud of her she was.

It felt more true the second time, more honest and from the heart and though she knew the first time was truthful as well Moonpaw knew that she would hold on to these words for as long as she could.

She wasn't sure what to say, the silence growing longer before Salmonshade moved forward as if on automatic and placed her head upon Moonpaw's, a broken purr rumbling into her skull and she found herself turning, burying her face into Salmonshade's chest, her own purr rumbling from her soon after. "Thank you, so much." It was all she could think to say in the moment, a heart-felt thank you - for everything.

I WISH PLANT LIFE ꕥ WOULD GROW ALL AROUND ME

• 
  MEDICINE CAT IN TRAINING;
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ FLESH WOUNDS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ INFECTIONS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ACHES & PAINS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ILLNESS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BREATHING ISSUES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ TRAVELING HERBS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BROKEN BONES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ KITTING
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ POISONS
• 
  ꕥ SH white masking cinnamon torbie w/orange eyes & small ears
  ꕥ speaks softly & often found humming
  ꕥ 9 moons old; ages the 17th every month
  ꕥ homosexual homoromantic ; interested in beepaw & redacted
  ꕥ currently being mentored by ravensong
  ꕥ easy to befriend/interact with ; hard to anger/upset
  ꕥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ꕥ easy in combat unless in water, focuses on defensive tactics
  ꕥ peaceful powerplay allowed

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