private KNEEL IN THE GLASS — splashpaw

[iciclefang]

She wakes, unsettled, from dreary dreams, her flanks heaving with rare anxiety. Iciclefang still feels the morning dew on her fur from the grass near Sunningrocks; she still feels the ghostly burn of amber eyes into her pelt as Cragkit, Pinekit, and Crabkit swim away from her, toward the mother they've never known. Her belly cramps with leftover anguish now, and she closes her eyes against the pain. You will never leave RiverClan. You will never leave my side. She lowers her nose to each kitten's soft head, nuzzling the gentle peaks of their ears. You will only know one home. I gave her up so you would have that. I gave it all up.

Iciclefang pushes herself to her paws, carefully weaving around the children cuddled in her nest, and flees the nursery. The air is humid, and the night-time silence is broken up by the river bubbling against stone. Blue eyes pierce the warm greenleaf darkness, finding a white-flecked coat squeezing out of the apprentice's den. Her lips draw into a thin line, and she hastens her steps, calling out, softly, "Splashpaw. Wait."

She regards the former ShadowClan apprentice for a moment, taking her in—the shape of her, the fluff of her speckled pelt that is slowly beginning to repel water from her change in diet, the size of her paws, her eyes, the length of her tail. Iciclefang cannot, for all her searching, see Pikesplash in her... only ShadowClan. "Why did you come here, after spending your kithood in ShadowClan?" Her tone is not friendly, but it holds no malice, no bite. She must know. She thinks of the kits huddled in the nursery, and she must know.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: @splashpaw
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 24 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior & queen. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

​

 

[splashdance]

Splashpaw wants to shake the remnants of the gathering fiasco from her pelt. She felt implicated by the actions of her former home and she hadn’t even been there - a struggle, she presumes, that will follow her until her last breath. The black pelted molly exited the apprentice’s den in hopes of dipping her paws in the cool tides when Iciclefang beckons her. She inwardly cringes, but given the other’s status above her, doesn’t pretend to not hear her.

“Hmm?” The she-cat hums at first. The question is well spoken, and though not friendly, it is not barbed like other things she has said - other things whispered around her, as if she cannot listen to voices that are far above a whisper. Iciclefang speaks as a fearful mother, maternal tones leaking from the edges of her voice. Perhaps luckily for her, Splashpaw cannot discern the unlikely hilts within the syllables. She hears the question at face value.

“My kithood…” The molly starts, and though she has fond memories of playing in the snow with her littermates, she feels soured by the looks not lost on her, the arguments that surrounded her, the frustration that infested every soul that step foot in the marsh. And yet all the same, she still has the urge to protect them. “I… was not well received, Iciclefang,” she says, almost too carefully. “I was born in leafbare, in a land no more plentiful with prey during the newleaf moons. My mothers loved me -” And I love them still, she dare not add, “But I could not withstand being made a scapegoat for the problems of others.”

She wonders - now after learning the code and comprehending it morsels more, if she should bother with telling Iciclefang with Chilledstar’s wrongdoings. I was apprenticed at four moons old, she could say. But she looks Iciclefang up and down for a moment, and discerns that a woman of no warmth must’ve come out of the womb hunting.

“Is that the answer you wanted to hear?” Splashpaw asks, raising her chin only slightly. Will the queen no longer neg her for her heritage now, or will she enforce it further? Splashpaw begins to regret being vulnerable at all with someone whose eyes reflect their namesake.​

 

[iciclefang]

Iciclefang sits half a foxlength away from Splashpaw, and the tortoiseshell queen regards her through narrowed blue eyes as she speaks her truth. "I was not well received," she says, and the lead warrior's ear flicks. "Are strong Clanborn kits not a blessing in ShadowClan, even in leafbare?" There are reasons, she thinks, not to kit in the cruelest season. She thinks of Hazecloud's loss, a precious life crippled and stolen by ice-bitten winds. But still... her story... something is missing. What is it?

"Did you have no Clan loyalty? Do you not still?" Iciclefang's tone is curious now. Does Splashpaw regret leaving her Clanmates behind her for a father unknown, a future misty with uncertainty? "One day, you may be asked to raise your claws against those mothers in battle. But you realize that." She dips her head. Splashpaw is not minnowbrained, young as she is. She's simply... misguided, and whose fault is that?

Who let you get so far away from yourself?

Iciclefang can't help but see her children, their fur fluffed out, their eyes round with the pride of knowing where they came from, where they belonged. She can't help the maternal claws that sink into her belly and grip her when she imagines them torn away from her. And would I be able to raise my claws against them?

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 24 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior & queen. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

​