- Aug 6, 2023
- 130
- 17
- 18
Patrol, hunt with Horizonpaw, eat, sleep. Hunt, patrol with Horizonpaw, search for Riverpaw, eat, sleep. Visit the riverside and throw flowers in, patrol, hunt with Horizonpaw and sleep. Though they vary slightly, each day in the past few moons since Hazecloud had been promoted feels monotonous and boring….
She returns one night, late in the evening when the sun had already set. Leafbare rapidly approaches and as it does the sun dips earlier and earlier… She learns to stay out later, hunt more because the Stars know they need it now more than ever. To stockpile what they can, feed healthy warriors while they can so, Stars willing, they can stay well fed and healthy during leafbare.
So caught up in the waves of her thoughts, she nearly slams straight in to Hazecloud. She reels back, for a split second, looks for a way out, an escape… Until those green eyes lock unto hers.
She can feel her heart skip a beat, achingly familiar and yet they've been so far away these past few moons. She did not mean to avoid her… Truly, but the fear, oh the fear of… The fear of what, exactly? The fear of somewhat drifting from the molly like she had with Lichenstar, where their talks slowly dwindled and they interacted in passing by, friendly, but still missing, yearning for what once was? The fear that there would be no more nights pressed against her, comfortingly grounding, ranting about the gathering? This thought makes her stomach twist and turn, churning uncomfortably. It is easier to avoid betrayal, pain of losing another when there is nothing to lose in the first place; unluckily for her, as much as she claims things do not effect her, she feels more, feels too much.
Every fiber in her body screams to run, and stupidly, she stays, she stays like she always does when it comes to Lichenstar, when it comes to Hazecloud. An apology lies at the tip of her tongue, to beg for forgiveness, mercy.
"Hazecloud," she greets, and almost if on autopilot she starts again, "I was just about to grab something before I go to sleep… Would you like to… share?" it all tumbles out of her mouth before she can think, too far gone in personal emotions to even begin to think of denying the other molly company. Maybe its something about the way that the deputy looks at her, or maybe its nothing at all and every single problem shes ever had was built in her head. No… That cannot possibly be it, not when betrayal cuts so deep within her chest, when fear and paranoia carves a home in to her brain, when the what ifs become too much to bear and she runs far, far away from the responsibility of feeling.
She blinks, suddenly brought back in to her own head as she just slightly tilts her head to the left. The stars begin to twinkle overhead and even though their talks have been nothing but brief these last moons… It feels as if no time has passed from their last, and it feels right.
She returns one night, late in the evening when the sun had already set. Leafbare rapidly approaches and as it does the sun dips earlier and earlier… She learns to stay out later, hunt more because the Stars know they need it now more than ever. To stockpile what they can, feed healthy warriors while they can so, Stars willing, they can stay well fed and healthy during leafbare.
So caught up in the waves of her thoughts, she nearly slams straight in to Hazecloud. She reels back, for a split second, looks for a way out, an escape… Until those green eyes lock unto hers.
She can feel her heart skip a beat, achingly familiar and yet they've been so far away these past few moons. She did not mean to avoid her… Truly, but the fear, oh the fear of… The fear of what, exactly? The fear of somewhat drifting from the molly like she had with Lichenstar, where their talks slowly dwindled and they interacted in passing by, friendly, but still missing, yearning for what once was? The fear that there would be no more nights pressed against her, comfortingly grounding, ranting about the gathering? This thought makes her stomach twist and turn, churning uncomfortably. It is easier to avoid betrayal, pain of losing another when there is nothing to lose in the first place; unluckily for her, as much as she claims things do not effect her, she feels more, feels too much.
Every fiber in her body screams to run, and stupidly, she stays, she stays like she always does when it comes to Lichenstar, when it comes to Hazecloud. An apology lies at the tip of her tongue, to beg for forgiveness, mercy.
"Hazecloud," she greets, and almost if on autopilot she starts again, "I was just about to grab something before I go to sleep… Would you like to… share?" it all tumbles out of her mouth before she can think, too far gone in personal emotions to even begin to think of denying the other molly company. Maybe its something about the way that the deputy looks at her, or maybe its nothing at all and every single problem shes ever had was built in her head. No… That cannot possibly be it, not when betrayal cuts so deep within her chest, when fear and paranoia carves a home in to her brain, when the what ifs become too much to bear and she runs far, far away from the responsibility of feeling.
She blinks, suddenly brought back in to her own head as she just slightly tilts her head to the left. The stars begin to twinkle overhead and even though their talks have been nothing but brief these last moons… It feels as if no time has passed from their last, and it feels right.
- @hazecloud
-
❥ salmonshade ʚ♡ɞ
salmon
❥ cis female ʚ♡ɞ she/her ʚ♡ɞ 43 months
❥ riverclan warrior ʚ♡ɞ mentoring horizonpaw
❥ chocolate tortie smoke with blue eyes ʚ♡ɞ tall & regal
❥ "speech, fd9367" ʚ♡ɞ thoughts
❥ single ʚ♡ɞ lesbian
❥ smells like freshly cut grass & rain ʚ♡ɞ echoes of greenleaf
❥ penned by chuff
