private last words of a shooting star | lily pad

[tansyshine]

At long last, Tansy leaves the confines of the nursery, pelt disheveled, ice blue eyes dull as she stumbles out. How cramped it has been, with the baby boom of newleaf, and how sad her heart has been as she watches each queen play with their kits. Tonight, she has to get out. She needs to get out or shes afraid she may just lose her mind. The camp flooring beneath her paws feel unfamiliar. She, after all, had practically been bedbound aside from helping watch kits.

It's been nearly a full cycle of seasons since Coalkits disappearance and yet it stings just like it were fresh. And then after Coalkit came Lily Wolfs death during the journey, brought back by the other journey-goers. And then... Sunfreckles death. Her friend, someone she enjoyed the company of, gone just like that. Torn apart... And then came Wolfwind. Subconsciously, at the thought, she seeks out her mate. Her mate, oh, her dearest- she needs to check on her and when she spots her, she makes her own way over.

"Lily Pad..." she murmurs, feeling her own grief temporarily lift as she stands besides her. The past moons... Oh, how rough it had been on her love. On them. And oh... Wolfwind, dearest Wolfwind- She cannot imagine Lily Pad's grief, especially when the loss weighs so heavily on herself. She can only imagine how hard it had been for her flower,

"My love... How do you feel, tonight?" her voice remains hushed, gentle as she settles besides her mate. The stars twinkle above them, a quiet mockery of those long gone. Tansy swallows hard, and despite how bad her pelt looks, she begins to draw her tongue methodically over Lily Pad's fur. "If you want to sit in silence, thats okay too." and she stops in her grooming, moving to press her cheek against the others face in a show of support, of love, then moving back to start her grooming again.

𝖨 𝖫𝖮𝖮𝖪 𝖴𝖯 𝖠𝖳 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖠𝖯𝖲 𝖮𝖥 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 ✿ 𝖨 𝖬𝖨𝖲𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖬𝖮𝖱𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖭 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖦

• @lily pad
• 
  ❥ tansy, tansyshine
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 44 months
  ❥ permaqueen of thunderclan ,, in care of
  ❥ fluffy cinnamon solid she-cat with low white and ice blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, a789cf" ,, thoughts
  ❥ bisexual ,, taken
  ❥ smells like freshly pressed flowers, moss & milk
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[lily pad]

Lily Pad was no stranger to grief. First, there was her father. Next was Tempestmoon. And then... Graystorm. He had been the first of her siblings to pass. It had only been four seasons since his death, and yet of her seven siblings, only two remained. Only Raccoonstripe and Cobwebtail. One by one, it seemed her family was dying. With every loss, Lily thought maybe she would finally be done. Finally, she wouldn't have to mourn as much as she had before. Maybe she could have a few good moons without any of her family dying.

Of course, that was never the case, and this time, she lost Wolfwind. Her daughter. She outlived her daughter. That isn't supposed to happen to anyone ever. Outliving a child is a cruel fate, one she can't believe her mother had endured five times. It was a fate her mate had endured as well, which manages to give Lily a modicum of hope. If Howlingstar and Tansyshine can still be two of the strongest, greatest cats she knew after so much loss, Lily can get through this.

She's interrupted from her thoughts by the quiet voice of her mate, her darling Tansyshine, her dearest friend. Oh, how thankful she was for her. While she couldn't take away the pain, just having Tansy around helped Lily feel more at peace. "Better, now that you're here." Tansy asks if she'd like to sit in silence and Lily hums in response. "Just for a moment."

She lays there for much longer than a moment, watching her clanmates go about their day. A hunting patrol arrives, one cat splitting off from the group and taking their catch straight to the nursery. Kits come running out, giggling balls of fur as their mother follows close behind. Lily smiles softly, resting her head on her paws. Having so many kits in the clan may be a lot of mouths to feed, but Lily was grateful for them. These kits were proof that life went on, even after loss. Even looking at her own family - yes, they had experienced much loss, but Lily was a grandmother now. She had an abundance of niblings and grand niblings even.

Life will move on, and Lily will find a new normal. It just won't be the same without Wolfwind.

//sorry for the switching past tense, i hope it makes sense? where like some of her thoughts are more past tense but some are more present tense... idk LMAODFSJKsgfdh