development lemon colored honey glow l open

[JAYWISH]

"I'm sure you'll be a strong warrior, just like your father."

Since joining, his original 'stated mission' for his arrival in the clans (looking for his dad) has been in the back of his mind. Nagging and gnawing but he's kept his mouth shut for the most part. After all, it only took a few initial days of asking around to know well that the doubt in the back of his mind was likely true. No one had heard of his dad. Like, at all. A part of him wants to hold onto it and the ambiguity helps it. Maybe his dad just isn't in this clan. Or it could be that it's been a while since anyone had seen him. Maybe he's just on vacation! Jaypaw puffs out his cheeks as he plops down in a pile of leaves in camp. What if his whole kithood, he was idolizing someone that didn't even exist. At least not in the way his mom told him.

Although, if that truly is the case, there's still things that don't add up. For instance, his mom was a kittypet her whole life as far as he knows. If she didn't learn it from him, how did she know as much as she did about the clans? And why would she lie to him about something like this? She clearly never intended for him to go to the clans, at least not without her, yet even in that there are contradictions. His mom always talked about how good kittypet life was and wanting to stay but she gave him a clan boy's name, likened him growing up to being a warrior, and fed him all of these swashbuckling fantasies about clan life. He was never "Alex" to her, like it was for his twolegs. It couldn't have been for nothing! Most of all, he doesn't want to talk ill of the dead, especially not his mother. She was no liar.He just... has to be missing something, is all.

These two conflicting trains of thought have been circling in his head all day until he finally bonks his own paw against his skull to try to get it all to shut up. He's not getting anywhere obsessing over it and he's afraid to talk to anyone about it just yet because that's reel into the whole running away thing and he's not ready to touch that with a ten foot pole. Purposefully anyway. All he can do for now it try to honor what his mom wanted from him: to grow up a good tom. It still hurts to think about her and will probably continue to but for now, this is the tightrope he's going to walk with himself until he slips. It's bittersweet but it's all he can do in his mind and besides, things aren't so scary anymore. If he continues on the road he's currently traveling, he might soon find enough courage to truly start thinking the impossible. That he really does belong here.

With that, Jay stands up with resolve in his eyes and gathers his sparse belongings from the nursery den. He gives an appreciative smile to the residents, especially to Sunfreckle and Rabbitnose, the queens who invited him in, and even a few of the kits even though they drive him up the wall. Sun and Rabbit were kind to him and helped him through a hard time in his life, even if they might not have realized how hard it was in his mind. "I think I'm ready to go to the apprentice den with the other paws. Uhm. Thanks for letting me stay in here while I was getting better... It means a lot." And he won't forget it, even if he feels all sappy saying it. But he's dawning on eight moons now and he's become strong enough to start acting like it. He doesn't think, he knows.

tldr; Jay is putting his mystery father on the backburner to focus on his apprenticeship and is finally fully recovered so he's going to the big kids den

@Rabbitnose @Sunfreckle ​

[ I'M THE HERO THAT SAVES ME ]​

 

[Sunfreckle]

Seemed like all the kits were leaving the nest, even the older not-kits as well. It was a little sad really, sometimes he wished they'd all stay little but the reality of it was no cat stayed small, every cat eventually grew into their own and while Jaypaw had taken a little longer to get to that point he deserved the chance to be his own person all the same; figuring out who you were wasn't possible if you stayed hidden away in the nursery forever.
"Of course, Jaypaw-you were lovely company." The red tabby smiled, watching the other sheepishly pull himself together and bid farewell, "I'm proud of you for taking the step to move forward. You'll be amazing." It was probably a good thing he didn't know how much Jaypaw had fallen back on them, he might have coddled a bit too much in that case as he had a tendency to do with the younger cats of the clan but all the same it still very much felt like one of his kits was leaving and the pride mixed with a little sadness knowing it would be a while before he could stride out across the territory on patrols and hunting parties with any of them. The striped tom's tail curled up at his side where he lay in his nest, lone forepaw curled to his chest with Flickerkit sleeping in the fold of it still.
"If it gets to cold though, you know where to find me!" The poor short-haired clanmates come leaf-bare, it was surely going to be a struggle but perhaps by then he'd be back in the warrior's den with Rabbitnose who didn't have the coat for cold weather.

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