private LET IT ALL OUT — nightbird

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Raccoonstripe had asked Nightbird to walk with him. The moon is barely a sliver in the night sky—Berryheart had only just returned from the Moonstone, after all. Time passes slowly. It’s as though he’s still stuck in the marshes he’d been raised in, paws trailing through sludge to get anywhere.

But it’s all in his head. The crunch of leaves underpaw tells him this, just as it tells him the season, the time of day. Leafbare. Cool to the touch, dark and not yet wet with mist. It’s the only thing that’s real to him in this moment, when his mouth is still full of rot and blood from battle, when his heart stings from the loss of his Clanmates, his sister.

He’d wanted this walk to be celebratory. He’d wanted to bow to her under Silverpelt; he’d wanted to kiss the ground she walked on, but when Raccoonstripe looks at Nightbird now, his tabby fur silvered by the moon, it’s with anger.

“I expected more from you.” He turns away from her, his eyes burning, his chest on fire. “I trusted you to keep her safe—to keep them all safe, and here you are, without most of the cats you left with.” The words are fire in his mouth, searing the air when he parts his jaws. After several heartbeats, he squares his shoulders, the fur there beginning to bristle. He’s ashamed of his outburst, but he’s more ashamed of the tears that prick the corners of his near-obsidian eyes. He will not let her see such weakness in him—not when she’s already seeing him fall apart in record time—so he jerks his face away, gaze focusing on the wind tussling the tree branches.

@nightbird

, ”​

​

 

[nightbird]

not long after returning, nightbird had resigned to her nest to rest. she didn't want to look at anymore somber faces, watch anyone else's heart break from the news she had to share. but it felt strange being here, in a nest that no longer smelled like her, in a den that now felt all too suffocating.

nightbird didn't want to walk with raccoonstripe, not after the way he looked at her when she broke the news of little wolf's death. but her head nodded and paws moved before she could protest. even if she couldn't admit it, she had missed his presence more than expected and hardly realized it until she returned. it was easy to chalk up to an appreciation for a friend, he could understand her motives in situations others could not. a part of her yearned to spill stories from the journey, ones that she didn't want to speak of otherwise. it quickly became clear that today's outing would not be so light hearted, nightbird would be foolish to believe otherwise.

her spine runs cold as he speaks words that had been eating away at her since the rock slide, and he cannot even look at her while doing it. the foliage, trees, anywhere else. it hurt, more than what he had said. jaw clenched, she bore into the side of his head. as right as raccoonstripe may have been, it wasn't fair for him to cast this judgement without being the one to witness it all.

"i promised things that those mountains made impossible to keep. i tried, but how can i alone take on a pack of hungry dogs? an eagle five fox-lengths in the air?" nightbird's tone is as chilled as the mountain winds, she steps away, paws moving to create the distance that should have been kept all along.

"you don't have to like that i am here and she is not, but i will not sit here and listen to you tell me every way in which i have failed. i already know." she had already recounted every instance more times than she could count. it made her dread coming home to face it all over again, she better understood honeyjaw's willingness to stay in the mountains now more than ever. "you don't know the half of what went on out there. i hope when flamewhisker returns she is spared your disappointment from returning alive."

it felt selfish to say, but nightbird had always wanted blood for blood. deep down a vengeful creature, and now she was backed into a corner, hurt. did it truly irk him that she was not the one buried under the snow?

---

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── ooc ⋆⋅☾⋅⋆ info ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, twenty-seven moons
  ⭃ nightbird is a small black smoke molly with pale silver eyes. a loner turned thunderclanner, her loyalty and drive to provide for her clan is unwavering. however, she is not known for harboring a bleeding heart, instead equipped with sarcastically fueled wit, brutal honesty, and a sharply edged tongue.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Part of him wanted her to erupt toward him, claws flailing toward his face, knocking his blood onto the forest floor. She does not. If he had turned to look into moon-silver eyes, he would have seen hurt—and that would have driven the thistles thrust into the meat of his heart even deeper. Instead, he hears a wind chill in her voice, and her words cut him like fangs. “An eagle,” he repeats, and he realizes she’s right—there’s nothing she nor any cat could have done to save his sister’s life. Little Wolf had always been an idealist, her head in the clouds—but why did she have to suffer the same fate as her daughter, dead in the snow, carpeting the winterscape red?

He closes his eyes, letting Nightbird’s words tear chunks from his pelt, his flesh, his soul. “You don’t have to like that I am here and she is not, but I will not sit here and listen to you tell me every way in which I have failed. I already know.” Raccoonstripe regrets, then. He regrets the venom he’d let spill from his mouth, that he’d let scatter between their paws. He can feel her move deliberately away from him, purposefully cold. He has done this. But all he can see is Little Wolf embanked in snow, tiny and cold, far from the kin who should have buried her in the forest she’d loved.

“If they had returned without you, I would have torn the eyes from their face,” he whispers hoarsely. “If you had foolishly given your life for a SkyClan cat, I would have marched to StarClan myself and demanded answers. No--” He finally looks at her, eyes dry but voice torn, “I’d drag you back down here myself.”

The wind whistles, buffeting their tufted pelts. Raccoonstripe flounders in the depth of his feelings, in sorrow for the sister he’d lost for good, in relief Nightbird is back in one piece, in regret for speaking harshly to her, in mad, mad love.

He exhales. The breath is shaking. He makes no move toward her, but the timbre of his voice deepens. “Flamewhisker is my friend, but I expect nothing from her like I expect from you, because no one means to me what you do. And I didn’t realize that until you were gone.” He laughs bitterly. “Some mousebrained confession this is, I know, but let’s be honest with ourselves… you wouldn’t have been impressed with anything I would have had to say.”

He falls silent, willing for her to berate him again, to see that he meant what he said—that she was everything to him, that the only reason he could lay his expectations at her paws was because she was the only one he felt capable of delivering them.

“…Did you hold a vigil for her?”

, ”​

​

 

[nightbird]

"yes," she exhales sharply at his echo. it wasn't a predator they often saw, for all of their sakes she hoped that never changed. the damage done in such a short time, to both cherrypaw and little wolf, could anyone truly have done a thing? it didn't matter how often she replayed the scenario, the outcome was the same. it appeared raccoonstripe was drawing to that conclusion as well.

he speaks hoarsely now, words that might as well be honey slapped over a claw wound. nightbird does not waver her gaze when he finally musters the strength to look at her, but black ears twitch with a faltering composure. never had it failed in the face of battle, but here, under much less dangerous circumstance she feels it chipping away slowly.

how long could she go pretending that she didn't feel the same? the hurt of his thorn-ridden words would resign as wounds always did. it would melt away, uncover why she felt the need to justify her actions to him. nightbird looks away, releasing slow and controlled breaths into the heavy air that surrounded them. she says nothing, what could she possibly say? her veins still pumped cold with residual anger, any words that passed her lips wouldn't be what she wanted them to.

"we held a vigil, i'm sorry you couldn't be there for it." nightbird hadn't lost someone she was close enough to truly mourn, but little wolf's family deserved to be there. it wasn't fair that they couldn't. her chin tilts upwards, a quick glance to the starry sky dotted with dark grey clouds. already she felt herself defrosting from the tense words tossed around before, but she still maintained a safe distance.

her mind felt almost hazy when she looked back to raccoonstripe, caught up as it debated why she couldn't stay mad at him. it certainly would be easier. "if we had a moon to spare i'd take you there," an unrealistic vow, two lead warriors couldn't just escape for a whole month under the premise of visiting a grave. and it was no secret that nightbird detested those mountains, the obstacles to reach them and return unscathed. but she'd do it all over again if asked, dogs and caves and whatever else they may find. for his closure, for whatever else he may need.

---

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── ooc ⋆⋅☾⋅⋆ info ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, twenty-seven moons
  ⭃ nightbird is a small black smoke molly with pale silver eyes. a loner turned thunderclanner, her loyalty and drive to provide for her clan is unwavering. however, she is not known for harboring a bleeding heart, instead equipped with sarcastically fueled wit, brutal honesty, and a sharply edged tongue.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Raccoonstripe finally lifts his gaze to study her reaction. There’s a sharp, but slow and steady, release of trapped breath, resignation. There’s still cool fury in her gaze, and he still feels the distance yawning between them, opened up like a cliff under the heat of his misplaced anger. He feels some of the ice in her voice filling him now, weighing him down, making brittle what should have flowed warmly. “My sister was a hero, but she was a fool, too,” he says by way of response. He scrapes at the mouldering leaves beneath their paws. “She could look past any cat’s faults. Look at who she chose to father her kits. A kittypet still stinking from Twolegs.”

He looks away. Now his mouth quirks into a smile, one he can’t hide. “She would have done it no matter who was there to stop her. She was too late to save Morningpaw, but this SkyClan apprentice… she wouldn’t have watched her die. That was just Little Wolf.” He doesn’t know why he’s explaining this to Nightbird—but even as he’s saying the words, it takes some of the sting from his heart. He can imagine a lean black shape batting a moss ball his direction, her laughter painting the air with music. He can imagine the hurt in her green eyes when he called her children kittypets.

His ears twitch, and he exhales again, this time for longer. He lets his hesitation go.

“Someday, when this forest is ours, we’ll go,” he says, tone almost casual now. “We’ll leave someone trustworthy in charge, and you’ll take me down the same trails you walked.” He stares at her now, long woodsmoke fur silvered by the moon, the starlight-gleam of her eyes, and his smirk becomes a smile. “Unless you’d rather take someone else. I suppose I can’t begrudge you that, now.”

, ”​

​

 

[nightbird]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ nightbird listens quietly, she didn't have much more to offer here than an open ear as raccoonstripe commemorated his sibling. even as he calls her a fool, chastises his sister's choice of a mate, not once did she believe he held anything but love for his sister. everyone did, perhaps for the very traits she had died for. little wolf was honorable, kind, and despite the situation seemed at peace when she took her last breath, only worried about the life of the apprentice she had saved.

he finishes, the air surrounding his muzzle clouding briefly with an exhale. nightbird's ears mimic the twitch of his own as he speaks, when the forest is theirs. her brow raises as he continues, the first instinct is to shut it down, fantasizing had never really been her thing. but raccoonstripe speaks it so confidently, compellingly that she can't help but keep her mouth shut.

ownership of the forest, while sounding nice nightbird was happy in her spot. patrolling, training, offering council to the many decisions howlingstar made. her ambition for power was nearly nonexistent, maybe it worked out well that way. "i wouldn't want to take anyone else," she admits, tail crossing over her paws as she finally sits on the cool forest floor. "but i can't promise the same trails, that is, unless you've taken up swimming while i was gone." without riverclan's help the first obstacle they met would likely be the last.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── AND NO RIVERS AND NO LAKES ⋅⋆⋅ CAN PUT THE FIRE OUT ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• 
  NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, twenty-seven moons.
  ⭃ a small black smoke molly with a single white paw and pale silver eyes.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

She speaks, and her words shoot a silvery thrill through him. “I wouldn’t want to take anyone else.” It’s an admission, from her, a confession, a fallen star piercing his chest and sending pale sparks flying through to his paw pads. Raccoonstripe’s eyes soften, and though the smile he wears only just loses its sardonic edge, sincerity bleeds through every gesture. “Did I just get you to admit you have feelings for me?” His cheer is boyish; he hasn’t felt so light on his paws since he was half a kit, pouncing on frogs in the marshes with his littermates.

Her remark about swimming has him laughing all over again. “I haven’t taken up swimming, no,” he admits, giving his pelt a shake as though it drips with invisible water. “Is that some wonderful gift you picked up on that cursed journey?” His teeth flash in the moonlight. “Is there some RiverClanner I ought to be jealous of, taking you for moonlit swims?” It’s all in jest—for now, now that their feelings are out in the open, Raccoonstripe believes he has nothing to worry about.

Once the jest dies between them, the tabby lead warrior straightens his posture. He seeks her shimmering gaze again, murmuring, “Then you will be my mate, Nightbird? It’s the last thing I’ll ask of you, but it comes with a lot. I’d ask you not to leave my side, to have my back, to fight beside me until one or both of us loses breath.” He holds her gaze, dark and intense. “Is that what you want? Because it’s what I want. I’m only sorry it took me this long to realize it.”

, ”​

​

 

[nightbird]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ raccoonstripe grins, softened eyes coaxing warmth out of her heart and sending it to her head. nightbird thanks the stars for her dark fur and an even darker night, without either of them the reddened skin underneath would surely be on vulnerable display. it was a strange feeling. to be able to stare down cats willing to claim her life with a steady pulse, but now her chest decided to flutter like a bird desperate to stay in the sky.

she didn't admit to anything in a concrete fashion, she could scoff off his question, move onto something else. but she didn't, only turned her head, subverting her contemplative glance to the stars above. they didn't have answers, not for her at least. but, the tabby moved on. to the river, swimming- had she mentioned a river? yes, right, the journey. nightbird shook her head, thankfully she had not been forced to do something so unnatural in the mountains. "in their dreams, maybe." it was the only place she would ever be in water and near a riverclanner at the same time.

it felt normal for a moment, but then something serious yet not quite heavy settled in. the question sprang on her like a cool splash of water, surprise widening her pale gaze. it would be asking a lot of her, beyond the things raccoonstripe had listed off. she loved thunderclan, gave it all she had. it was practically an obsession to keep her clan protected and prosperous. but, to love a single cat that much. would it drive a thorn through that?

part of her success, she assumed, was weaved into remaining impartial, detached just enough so that her focus was honed. taking a mate, it would create a bias, throw off the delicate scale nightbird had created. but, perhaps it was already skewed. she valued his opinion more than her clanmates, spent as much time alone with him as she did her own apprentice. too far gone, too late to fight it, and she hadn't even noticed the spiral.

"yes, that's what it want." it comes out breathy, a sigh of near frustration as her brain resigns to the desires of her heart. this is uncharted territory, nothing made her more wary. but ultimately, inevitable, and she wouldn't want to tread it alongside anyone else. so she accepts, even if it is selfish, scary, and so many other things she couldn't even begin to describe. "through all those things and more, i want to be your mate."

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── AND NO RIVERS AND NO LAKES ⋅⋆⋅ CAN PUT THE FIRE OUT ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• 
  NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, twenty-seven moons.
  ⭃ a small black smoke molly with a single white paw and pale silver eyes.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​