private like i'm capable of // scorchstreak

[cottonsprig]

Cottonsprig found herself thrust into work. Wolfsong took good care of his stores prior to falling ill - to be frank, she expected nothing less - but some things seem to be getting low and with Celandinepaw not well trained... It's a new headache that she should've anticipated in her days of mourning. The she-cat is tempted to ask for a patrol to head out with her, but something in her aches. She knows what it is. She doesn't want to leave camp, not with her children in the nursery. What if something goes wrong, and she's not around? She's the only properly trained medicine cat now. Do all parents feel this, or is she alone in her forced separation?

She presses her paws against the sandy ground, eyebrows furrowed to try and feign determination. Cottonsprig forces herself to recognize that she cannot be stagnant, not now and not ever. Yet as she approaches the deputy, courage billowing in her chest - it all deflates. The other has rarely held love for her (at least, outwardly,) and she figures that if her secret ever got out, Scorchstreak would be among the first to turn her loose or make a mockery of her. Another reason to hide, she supposes. (It's not as if she's planning to expose herself, of course. But the tremors of fear and worry still itch her calloused paws.)

Regardless, Cottonsprig notices that she's idled by the orange-spun she-cat for a moment too long without saying anything. She opens her maw and runs through her mind, just ask for a patrol, she demands of herself. Instead, the visual of a pointed cat and smaller kittens pops into her mind. A new but now familiar sorrow fills her chest.

"Scorchstreak," she addresses the other after a long moment. "I... I'd like to tell you something," she says.

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

• ooc // @SCORCHSTREAK

• ❥ MEDICINAL KNOWLEDGE
  ♥♥♡ WOUNDS ; can confidently stop bleeding and mend lacerations. will often request that you keep your injury clean and wait it out first.
  ♥♥♡ INFECTION ; as a side effect of likely her own doing, very dutiful with technique and treatment shortly thereafter.
  ♥♡♡ ACHES & PAINS ; will defer to a dark tunnel and rest. if pain persists, maybe she will offer something.
  ♥♡♡ BROKEN BONES ; has never dealt with a broken bone. likely will ask that you never move. ever again.
  ♥♥♥ TRAVELING HERBS ; learned well from her previous mentor. will pile even too many remedies to tough the wilderness with.
  ♥♥♥ KITTING ; having kittens of her own and helped several others with their litters, she is very well versed with calming techniques and quelling pain.
  ♥♡♡ POISONS ; she knows what they are... but that isn't enough, isn't it?
  ♥♥♡ ILLNESS ; having worked through two yellowcough bouts, she is confident in her remedies. much else... she's operating on trial and error.
  ⸻ cottonsprig is a dutiful and excitable medicine cat. she enjoys company and loves conversation. she'd rather not have too many curious noses snooping around her den... but who is she to quell curiosity?

• 

  ⸻❥ cottonsprig is the primary medicine cat of windclan. a former princess to the moors, she harbors many guilts for her actions throughout her short life. she has no consistent partner, unwilling to commit and settle, and she is training celandinepaw in medicine.

​

 

[SCORCHSTAR]

༄༄ Cottonsprig’s return had come at the perfect time for WindClan. With Wolfsong sick, Celandinepaw hardly trained more than a regular warrior, and Bluefrost giving birth to five kits along with bringing back her secret lover… the clan had been facing some of its worst circumstances in a while. But Sootstar’s other daughter had swept in soon after, bringing with her a sense of hope and relief—enough to silence Scorchstreak’s pointed questions, her suspicions of where the medicine cat had disappeared to. Still, it is a futile thing to attempt to look at Cottonsprig and see anything but Bluefrost’s face. The lead warrior had chosen a DuskClanner over her own clan, and then had returned with him at her side, as though his presence would be readily accepted. She had once felt the beginnings of true kinship with Bluefrost, embers settling at last after the wildfire of conflict that had flickered between them. Now, the other tunneler’s betrayal eclipses all good things that Scorchstreak had once thought of her.

Though it is not Cottonsprig’s fault, the calico still feels her hackles bristle when the healer approaches. It is not a novel feeling, being uncertain where to place her footsteps to avoid awkwardness with her once-apprentice. The other she-cat seems to be interested in her, however, for whatever reason that may be… and Scorchstreak is determined to ignore her for as long as it is possible. When the other speaks at last, it is to bring news—I have something to tell you, spoken hesitantly. "Cottonsprig," she says in return, softening her vehement tone with a tight smile as she shifts to look the healer in the eye. "What is it?" Bad news, most likely. Another tragedy, another death of another friend, loved one, clanmate. Her poor expectation does not exhibit itself on her face, and instead the deputy’s anxiety makes itself known through the metronome of her scarlet-streaked tail.

YOU KNOW I DESERVE IT ☽♰☾ WELL, TAKE IT OUT ON ME

• ooc: —
• 
• SCORCHSTREAK ❯❯ she/they, deputy (tunneler) of windclan
  ༄ small, slim flame-streaked calico with fiery golden eyes. cold and closed-off, ferociously protective of her clanmates. rarely seen aboveground.
  ༄ mate to bluepool ; sibling to rattleheart & rabbitclaw
  ༄ mentor to bilberrypaw & brackenpaw ; previously mentored pinkshine
  ༄ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted, but may react aggressively
  ༄ penned by foxlore

​

​

 

[cottonsprig]

Cottonsprig is not inept; while she believes she can tell herself and her sister apart, they are still two cats of the same pedigree. They were born beneath the same stars with the same blood running through their veins - and the same ash and soot posing as fur within their pelt. She can only imagine how Bluefrost must feel on occasion, mistaken for their kind medicine cat when she hardly knows how to stop blood flow. In the same vein, she does not imagine such discomforts when she approaches others. She can only be selfish and derive that of her own being.

Scorchstreak and her have done this uncertain dance before, but never has the other smiled. It's a weak, pitiful thing, perhaps only displayed as preparation to fall moments later. WindClan always confronts strife with a stern brow and a frown - the deputy ensures that. Her own tail sweeps across the grass beneath them, mimicking the ticking of the she-cat before her.

"I - in my time... away," details tucked into the ruff of her fur, lies ready to be told to save face, "I saw someone. I... I saw Rumblerain, Scorchstreak." Cottonsprig isn't sure how long to let the name hang in the air. She does not search the deputy's face for recognition, relief, or anger. She simply continues with the real news. "They had two kittens tailing them. They looked no older than a few moons, really... but both of them, spitting images of Rumblerain. I... I think they're your kin, Scorchstreak." In truth it is not her news to share, but what good is it for her to hold the details so close to her chest? "I could not hide that from you. I hope you understand."

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

• ooc //

• ❥ MEDICINAL KNOWLEDGE
  ♥♥♡ WOUNDS ; can confidently stop bleeding and mend lacerations. will often request that you keep your injury clean and wait it out first.
  ♥♥♡ INFECTION ; as a side effect of likely her own doing, very dutiful with technique and treatment shortly thereafter.
  ♥♡♡ ACHES & PAINS ; will defer to a dark tunnel and rest. if pain persists, maybe she will offer something.
  ♥♡♡ BROKEN BONES ; has never dealt with a broken bone. likely will ask that you never move. ever again.
  ♥♥♥ TRAVELING HERBS ; learned well from her previous mentor. will pile even too many remedies to tough the wilderness with.
  ♥♥♥ KITTING ; having kittens of her own and helped several others with their litters, she is very well versed with calming techniques and quelling pain.
  ♥♡♡ POISONS ; she knows what they are... but that isn't enough, isn't it?
  ♥♥♡ ILLNESS ; having worked through two yellowcough bouts, she is confident in her remedies. much else... she's operating on trial and error.
  ⸻ cottonsprig is a dutiful and excitable medicine cat. she enjoys company and loves conversation. she'd rather not have too many curious noses snooping around her den... but who is she to quell curiosity?

• 

  ⸻❥ cottonsprig is the primary medicine cat of windclan. a former princess to the moors, she harbors many guilts for her actions throughout her short life. she has no consistent partner, unwilling to commit and settle, and she is training celandinepaw in medicine.

​

.

 

[SCORCHSTAR]

༄༄ Away, the smoky she-cat uses to describe her unexplained disappearance from her clan during the time when she was most needed. She says it as though it has been explained away, excused, but the deputy will not soon forget the snot-nosed kit that Cottonsprig had insisted upon keeping around. And then, she says Rumblerain. She had seen them. A frown curls itself across her muzzle, something stormy shrouding her expression. A flash of lightning in golden eyes, sparking a wildfire upon the dry twist of her muzzle. It is a simple thing to pretend that Rumblerain is dead, gone for good like Dappledsun before them. That Cottonsprig had somehow earned the privilege of seeing them feels deeply wrong. Had the two spoken? Had the pointed DuskClanner updated her on their well-being? Had they-

She shakes herself free of such concerns. She is their mother no longer; they lie as a second, third, fourth failure of hers, to be buried and forgotten. But the healer continues on, detailing the two kittens that had been spotted with the rogue. Small echoes of Rumblerain—and Scorchstreak is too familiar with echoes, isn’t she—trailing behind larger paws, following a parent. "My kin?" Kits of Rumblerain. Her grandkits. Stars, is she that old? Old enough to be a grandmother… she had never imagined that she would see the day. And yet, she cannot refute what she has been told.

If they are with Rumblerain, then they must be DuskClan-born, DuskClan-raised. Her name must be spoken only in hushed tones, in hoarse whisperings of stories to give kits nightmares. Her newest kin are just as lost to her as Rattleheart is, as Dappledsun is. They can mean nothing to her. But still, the deputy unclenches her jaw enough to murmur, "Thank you, Cottonsprig. For telling me. I… I am glad that you did not hide it." Grandkits. I have grandkits, who I will never meet except on the field of battle.

YOU KNOW I DESERVE IT ☽♰☾ WELL, TAKE IT OUT ON ME

• ooc: —
• 
• SCORCHSTREAK ❯❯ she/they, deputy (tunneler) of windclan
  ༄ small, slim flame-streaked calico with fiery golden eyes. cold and closed-off, ferociously protective of her clanmates. rarely seen aboveground.
  ༄ mate to bluepool ; sibling to rattleheart & rabbitclaw
  ༄ mentor to bilberrypaw & brackenpaw ; previously mentored pinkshine
  ༄ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted, but may react aggressively
  ༄ penned by foxlore

​

​

 

[cottonsprig]

And just as anticipated. The air becomes tense, however only slightly slow, and the others expression morphs to something unreadable. Are you upset that I bring them up? Are you upset that they live at all? Cottonsprig only has vague memories of what Scorchstreak had done unto her firstborn son. An early grave, if he was even gifted a stone she doesn't know. She hopes that the fire streaked warrior has changed since then, since the death of Sootstar and the rise of a much kinder leader... But maybe with the pain of betrayal, the same may be done unto her lost child.

In the end, however, Scorchstreak shakes her pelt. The strain in her jaw loosens and her voice is lower, almost soft. Gratitude, though Cottonsprig does not believe it is hers to earn. Any self respecting cat would be kind enough to tell kin of new developments (she, by this standard, is not self respecting to her own family.) Cottonsprig idles for a moment, unsure what to say - if there's anything kind to say at all. With a sideward glance, she posits a quiet, "Perhaps... one day, you will meet them," hopeful, she starts. "And when that day comes, I hope WindClan would receive them with kindness, and not as enemies. We cannot control where we are born, after all. We can only control where our paws lead us, in the end." Yet as she says it, she feels a clenching in her chest that tells her otherwise.

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

• ooc //

• ❥ MEDICINAL KNOWLEDGE
  ♥♥♡ WOUNDS ; can confidently stop bleeding and mend lacerations. will often request that you keep your injury clean and wait it out first.
  ♥♥♡ INFECTION ; as a side effect of likely her own doing, very dutiful with technique and treatment shortly thereafter.
  ♥♡♡ ACHES & PAINS ; will defer to a dark tunnel and rest. if pain persists, maybe she will offer something.
  ♥♡♡ BROKEN BONES ; has never dealt with a broken bone. likely will ask that you never move. ever again.
  ♥♥♥ TRAVELING HERBS ; learned well from her previous mentor. will pile even too many remedies to tough the wilderness with.
  ♥♥♥ KITTING ; having kittens of her own and helped several others with their litters, she is very well versed with calming techniques and quelling pain.
  ♥♡♡ POISONS ; she knows what they are... but that isn't enough, isn't it?
  ♥♥♡ ILLNESS ; having worked through two yellowcough bouts, she is confident in her remedies. much else... she's operating on trial and error.
  ⸻ cottonsprig is a dutiful and excitable medicine cat. she enjoys company and loves conversation. she'd rather not have too many curious noses snooping around her den... but who is she to quell curiosity?

• 

  ⸻❥ cottonsprig is the primary medicine cat of windclan. a former princess to the moors, she harbors many guilts for her actions throughout her short life. she has no consistent partner, unwilling to commit and settle, and she is training celandinepaw in medicine.

​

 

[SCORCHSTAR]

༄༄ Cottonsprig’s words land with startling clarity, and the calico forces herself to remain still. One day, she could meet those kits, whether on the battlefield or not. If DuskClan falls at last, where will they have to go? They will come to WindClan, won’t they, seeking a home and stability. Would she run them off, as she has done to so many others? Her mind fills with thoughts of her Finnegan, her Dappledsun, her first kit. His grave, empty like Venomthroat’s, like Bluepool’s, yet adorned with what she could spare from the moorland’s bounty. She had spent a night collecting a moon-washed stone for him, had cried her forgiveness into the cold earth, but still it does not seem enough. How can she earn the forgiveness of one whose life she ripped away with claws that were meant to hold, to care?

With a stinging bite to the inside of her cheek, she understands. This is how. By offering these two unknown, unnamed kits, whom she has never met before and may yet never meet, a home someday, a safe place to land… she may earn the forgiveness of her son. Of, perhaps, all her children who she has wronged. "If they come to WindClan seeking shelter, I will do everything in my power to shelter them," she promises. To Cottonsprig, but to herself as well. To those faceless kits who surely wear the same bright eyes of their pointed parent. She will not turn her claws against her kin again—even if she must beg Sunstar, sacrifice the mantle of deputy, she will give everything to know that her family remains safe.

Through it all, she does not seek the medicine cat’s gaze. Her own eyes are trained on the camp before them, unseeing yet focused. Without shifting her gaze, Scorchstreak requests more of the healer—always more, always asking someone for something they may not be able to give. "If the time comes, and I have forgotten what I said here… will you remind me?"

YOU KNOW I DESERVE IT ☽♰☾ WELL, TAKE IT OUT ON ME

• ooc: —
• 
• SCORCHSTREAK ❯❯ she/they, deputy of windclan, tunneler
  ༄ small, slim flame-streaked calico with fiery golden eyes. cold and closed-off, ferociously protective of her clanmates. rarely seen aboveground.
  ༄ mate to bluepool ; sibling to rattleheart & rabbitclaw
  ༄ mentor to bilberrypaw & brackenpaw ; previously mentored pinkshine
  ༄ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted, but may react aggressively
  ༄ penned by foxlore

​

​

 

[cottonsprig]

There's a small burl of warmth that blooms in Cottonsprig's chest as her deputy speaks. It's not struggling, per say, but the other takes measures and moments to collect herself, her mind, her grief - and accepts what she can control and what she can't. Perhaps for the first time in moons, the medicine cat sees hope in Scorchstreak's gaze. And even though she cannot discern what the hope is for, the grey feline feels that it is enough for today.

The promise is met with a slight nod, and though Cottonsprig holds it to her chest, she forces malice away from it. The moments of vulnerability in the tortoiseshell are far and few between, and in no world would the she-cat squander it for a grudge. The conversation feels over - feels as if she has said all that she's needed to say. But then Scorchstreaks breaks the silence once more, a question in a tone not like herself. Will you remind me? She asks. Cottonsprig searches her burning gaze, unsure what for, before readily nodding again.

"Of course, Scorchstreak." A paw raises to her chest, presses into the soft smoke of her fur, "You have my guidance, just as much as I have always followed yours." Perhaps not two sides of the same coin, but most certainly two paths continuously intersecting, promising an alliance regardless of their issues. Cottonsprig smiles, standing to move on and leave her deputy to her duties. Before she does, she muses a quiet, "Thank you, Scorchstreak." What for, she isn't clear - but she leaves it for the other regardless.

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

• ooc //

• ❥ MEDICINAL KNOWLEDGE
  ♥♥♡ WOUNDS ; can confidently stop bleeding and mend lacerations. will often request that you keep your injury clean and wait it out first.
  ♥♥♡ INFECTION ; as a side effect of likely her own doing, very dutiful with technique and treatment shortly thereafter.
  ♥♡♡ ACHES & PAINS ; will defer to a dark tunnel and rest. if pain persists, maybe she will offer something.
  ♥♡♡ BROKEN BONES ; has never dealt with a broken bone. likely will ask that you never move. ever again.
  ♥♥♥ TRAVELING HERBS ; learned well from her previous mentor. will pile even too many remedies to tough the wilderness with.
  ♥♥♥ KITTING ; having kittens of her own and helped several others with their litters, she is very well versed with calming techniques and quelling pain.
  ♥♡♡ POISONS ; she knows what they are... but that isn't enough, isn't it?
  ♥♥♡ ILLNESS ; having worked through two yellowcough bouts, she is confident in her remedies. much else... she's operating on trial and error.
  ⸻ cottonsprig is a dutiful and excitable medicine cat. she enjoys company and loves conversation. she'd rather not have too many curious noses snooping around her den... but who is she to quell curiosity?

• 

  ⸻❥ cottonsprig is the primary medicine cat of windclan. a former princess to the moors, she harbors many guilts for her actions throughout her short life. she has no consistent partner, unwilling to commit and settle, and she is training celandinepaw in medicine.

​