sensitive topics LIKE I'M SOME TOURIST ATTRACTION &. death

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

cw for anxiety, and death!! another life gone

they can't help how weak they felt. they finally were too sick to fake it until they made it, and now they were reaping what they sewed. they can't even get up to lead, let alone hunt like they're supposed to. they feel terrible. they look horrible. and poor starlingheart having to deal with all of them. smogmaw was gone, so that left that responsibility to mostly starlingheart. they can't do anything from this den. they're too contagious, and entirely too weak. not exactly something they'd been very happy about. but happiness was not a luxury that they could afford at the moment. they were so tired. so very tired. had it always been so cold in this den? or perhaps they were just missing the warmth from their mate, who could not be beside them in all this. they wished she could but they knew better now. when they first got too weak, they didn't understand it. they didn't think that their sickness was the same sickness that was wiping out cats through the clan faster than starvation did. maybe they should have.

they're glad now. they would have sent her away so much sooner, to lower the risk of infecting her. they don't know if they have or not but they're hoping to the stars that they didn't. in some sick way, this was pure luck. of all the cats to get sick next, at least it was chilledstar. they had lives to spare and they wished they didn't. they wanted to give lives to others who deserved second chances. cats like halfshade, who still had a family to raise. cats like loampelt who, even though he did not die of the illness, deserved yet another chance at living a healthier life. cats like heavybranch who felt they had more to fulfill in life. more to do. cats like ghostpaw and poppypaw who did not get to get their warrior names. so many cats who deserved the second chance and it felt so selfish to have so much of them. they couldn't control it, though. if they could, they surely would.

they twitched their tail weakly, coughing and looking at the small bit of prey that was brought in to their den by the medicine cat, along with some more honey to soothe their aching throat. they don't want it. they can't touch it. they can barely move as their breathing becomes more and more labored. it's getting very hard to breathe.

"i don't... w-want t-to... d-die... a-again..."

leadership was a curse for this. they could deal with taking care of their clan to the best of their abilities but being cursed to die over and over and over again? they hated that. even with their body as weak as it was, they could still manage some anxiety.

"m-mama? a-are you... there?"

their eyes squinted at the light they could have sworn they saw. everything hurts. why does everything hurt? did it just get colder?

"n-not again... i can't... b-breathe..."

they squeeze their eyes shut feebly, breaths wheezing as they slowly tried to get up. maybe if they just got up and walked, it would stop. they didn't want to die. they couldn't do this again. they collapsed quicker than they wouldn't have liked to. it mattered not. they weren't gonna make it. they were dying, again. with a few final breaths, they let out their last wheezing breath, eyes widening with nothing but fear. dead. again.

they woke up, in starclan yet again. they didn't like this place. how was it supposed to be peaceful when they very clearly could see their body down there, and know they were going to return to it?

"how are we meant to do this over and over?! why can't these lives just go to cats that need it? what makes me so much more special than any of them, huh!? it's not fair! they deserve second chances! they deserve to live!"

they shout, but no one is listening. their words mean nothing. life just did not work like that, and the sooner they accepted that, the easier this would be for everyone. only... they would never. and they'd never stop feeling guilty for being doomed to survive while others die.

//tagging @STARLINGHEART. but they are in their den !
​

 

[scalejaw]

—————————————————【 she/her | menacing 】————————————————

【◈】Death. Death was so incredibly imperative to the circle of life. Prey was killed, and fed to predators. Predators eventually died, and fed the earth, so that prey could eat. But sickness interrupted that flow- always, always did. It made prey insignificant, not that Shadowclan had ever been well fed, because the prey never did anything to heal the predators. Scalejaw had been doing the best that she could feeding those still healthy. Sleep was hard to catch, doing round to round of catching prey, watching over her shoulder for rogues, and.. Stars, Chilledstar was sick.

Their leader, the very cat who was supposed to be guiding them through this dark time, was sick. And Scalejaw knew there was no easy way out of this. She knew that there would be heartache if Smogmaw and the others didn't return with lungwort. She had visited Chilledstar a pawful of times since they had gotten sick. Starlingheart had reinforced that approaching sick cats was dangerous, even if Scalejaw believed she was impervious to it because she had to be. Shadowclan needed all of it's warriors healthy if any of them were going to survive.

The soft noises of Chilledstar calling out for life, for their mother, felt like a claw dragged over her heart. Scalejaw was sitting near the entrance of Chilledstar's den- she looked tired, and restless. And the wheezes came to a stop, so Scalejaw's ears flattened and a shuddering breath left her. Scalejaw was sure Geckoscreech would be somewhere nearby, alongside Starlingheart, so she sat in front of the leader's den and mourned quietly, eyes lowered and paws kneading the ground anxiously.

This was one of those few times she was anxious, of all things, nervous. "C'mon... we were supposed to go hunting together. Come back." She whispered to the cooling air of leaf fall, as if begging Starclan to release her friend back to their clan. Beyond the choking anxiety, grief was swept over her being as well, mourning the life lost.

"yuh"

[penned by dallas].

​

 

[GRANITEPELT]

His prediction to Sootstar had been correct, though it has done little good. Granitepelt had seen Starlingheart hurry into the leader’s den, jaws full of soothing things that would not save their leader’s life. He can hear very little from his vantage point on the outside—but he sees Scalejaw, her eyes glazed with worry, and he can feel the Clan despairing around him. Even he is somber—there is something terribly uniting about Chilledstar’s death, it seems. Despair reigns ShadowClan.

“We have no one to organize things while they’re gone and recovering,” he says, narrowing his eyes. Smogmaw is away for StarClan knows how long, and Starlingheart’s duty is medicine, not giving orders and organizing patrols. He wonders if there is even any cat capable of filling the paws of their superiors, or anyone willing to do so. His tail swishes behind him, thoughtful and waiting to see if and when Chilledstar would awaken again.

ooc ✧ 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖎𝖙'𝖘 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖊, 𝖎 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖔𝖔 - 𝖗𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗, 𝖎 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚?

•  
•  
• 

  — granitekit . granitepaw . granitepelt
  — he/him ; warrior of shadowclan
  — heterosexual ; taken by Starlingheart
  — short-haired gray tom with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — chibi by Meg

​

 

[Frostbite]

His heart is weary enough, and to see that Chilledstar has died from this illness only makes it sink further. The only positive here is that they have multiple lives, and will come back to them. But its still unnerving and upsetting to see a friend lying weak and unmoving, no breath to be taken. He sits at the entrance to the den, unsure if its safe to enter. Chilledstar had been horribly sick, and he doesn't know if they still carry it. Will they wake up sick again?

That would be cruel, if so. He hopes that will not be the case.

"They will get right back up again...." Frostbite says. "And with your support, Scalejaw, I'm sure they'll recover quickly." He adds, mustering a small smile that fades all too quickly.

Granitepelt speaks the truth, there's nobody able to lead the clan right now. What should they do? A part of him tells himself that he should step up. Someone has to, right? And watching the clan fall into such despair has been eating away at him ever since cats started dropping. Shadowclan can't fall. They've survived this far, right? But even if he did choose to step up and bring some modicum of order, would anyone follow his lead and join him? If not, would he be able to even handle it by himself, if at all?

They need someone to look to. If Shadowclan falls apart, then their enemies will take advantage of it and finish them off, and Frostbite doesn't want to see Windclan gloat about defeating them.

"Something must be done." He says, agreeing with Granitepelt.​

 

[scalejaw]

—————————————————【 she/her | menacing 】————————————————

【◈】 Granitepelt speaks- Scalejaw barely listens, but the nerve that he plucks causes her eyes to open wider. Glowering coals shifted towards him, vision piercing as she looked on. Frostbite has kind words, but the anger gurgling in her stomach was biting down on her. Ignoring his words for a moment take greats effort, but she looks towards Frostbite.

She pastes a smile one her face that doesn't quite reach her eyes. The queen was trying to give Scalejaw confidence in Chilledstar. While she was grateful for that fact, her grated nerves weren't allowing the gratitude to flow easily. But she was wise, and could control herself better then the younger warriors. "I'm sure of that as well." Scalejaw murmured. Her ears twitch, and finally she looked towards Granitepelt. The look on her face was void of any kind of stricken emotion.

"Something will be done. We are all grown, yes? We can make our own patrols." She stated, chin tilted up to look down her muzzle at Granitepelt. "Or are you unable to do that?" Her words weren't accusing, nor sarcastic- just an honest question.

"yuh"

[penned by dallas].

​

 

[Starlingheart]

Death was something familiar to her but at this point she is certain it is even more so for Chilledstar. If you asked her, nine lives were a curse. To be forced to experience such a thing as death nine times over sounded excruciating to her and for a moment, she is selfishly thankful that her fate lay in medicine. If she had to die she would much rather only be made to do it once.

"I'm here" she says softly as she comes to stand next to her mate, black brushing against gray as she lays her eyes on the still, not moving body of their leader. There was nothing she or anyone else could do, they were gone and with the stars but they would come back. "When-when they come back they will be well again" she says, certainty lacing the edges of her words. "Everything will be alright" it had to be
​

OOC NOTES . ✦ . CHARACTER INFO

• ooc : — ​
• 
  

  
  ➵ she / her
  ➵ shadowclan medicine cat
  ➵ mates with Granitepelt
  
  

  

  - - a small, black furred she-cat with green eyes
  ↪ toyhouse [ ✦ ]
  
  - - Starlingheart is the reclusive and anxious medicine cat of shadowclan. She tries her best to always be kind and to wear her heart on her sleeve but life has not always dealt her the best hand. Still, she does her best to remain optimistic and faithful to starclan even in the face of her clans cynicism. Because of her stutter, which is starting to improve as she gets older and gains more confidence in herself, she tries to speak as little as possible. Her quiet demeanor has granted her a valuable skill, however, the ability to listen. She prefers to hang back in the shadows and observe over being in the spotlight and because of this she has learned to pick up on things quickly. It is what she can attribute her quick skills as a medicine cat to, the ability to retain information, the ability to learn swiftly. Despite the way life has gone for her, she believes that there is good in everyone she meets. Because of this she trusts easily and therefor is easy to manipulate.
  ↪ INFJ-T 'the advocate'
  
  ➵ skilled medicine cat ; not very good at anything else
  ➵ BRIARSTAR X AMBER; sister to pitchstar, nightswarm, chittertongue, skunktail, and lilacfur; mother to nettlekit, ghostkit and flintkit
  ​

 

[STUMPYSPOTS]

STUMPYSPOTS​

”Oh, Starlingheart.” Stumpyspots rasps, drawing close to the scene but not too close. She did not want to get in the way of the black and white she-cats magic, nor crowd the deceased figure of Chilledstar any further. ”ShadowClan would be lost without your care.” Especially in the last moon… She can only pray StarClan will bring the journeying cats back soon. She looks to the warriors as they come to an agreement something must, and will be done. ”Scalejaw is right. We are grown… We can keep ourselves together while Chilledstar recovers. We should leave ‘em to Starlingheart’s paws and take out a few patrols.” The fresh-kill pile could always use filling, borders could always be checked with the latest rogue activity. Might as well make Chilledstar proud and keep their paws busy.

*.☽ INFO BATTLE

• 
  » Halfmaw . Stumpyspots
  » ShadowClan Warrior
  » She/her ․ Twice Widowed
  » Calico she-cat with rounded features.
  » ”speech”․ thoughts ․ attack
  
• 
  » A heavy hitting foe capable of standing her ground
  » Excels in slow, but powerful blows and kicks.
  » Fights to defend and protect
  » May powerplay minor harm. Can powerplay healing

​

 

[S A B L E T U F T]

can we leave it behind? — A fresh autumn glow had greeted the skeletal remains of their ranks. Few numbers to protect and even fewer to defend it felt, with each passing day more and more succumbed. At first what regarded as an incurable disease had graciously found its vice, only for their rejoice to stumble when stocks were limited. ShadowClan of course having none at all- the only Clan to lack a single natural dose.

It's laughable sometimes. Just how poor their luck is. Just how much vitriol stained the marshes, sinking paws deep within and cackling as they endured in vain. Sabletuft had found himself still feeling like his typical self, despite it all. His mood in an everlasting sour disposition, but he was not miserable. He was not frightened. He wasn't even sad. He had prepared for the bodies to pile up before their numbers dwindled further to travel into lands unknown for more lungwort.

The gradual gathering of cats outside Chilledstar has caught his attention. Sabletuft had done well to ignore Chilledstar's infliction from the start, it was inevitable when one was so careless about the cats they mingled with. He watched, a face of stone turned toward the dugout housing the black-and-white cat. Murmurs come from within and a disturbing stretch of silence followed. The words exchanged from Scalejaw and Granitepelt confirm his suspicions; Chilledstar had lost another life.

We have no one to organize things while they’re gone and recovering. A raspy snrk is the only sound he made. Of course, they had obliterated their own council from within and sent off the other... What a shame.

The fire that opened in his chest filled a cavity within. It's hot, glowing around a heart locked beneath ice. A white-tipped tail flicked back and forth over the ground and the former lead found himself... satisfied. It felt right, for Chilledstar to die at the clutches of this disease.

He doesn't let the satisfaction linger. Sabletuft padded off to fulfill whatever duty he had already assigned himself to do. They had seven more lives to bare, this was still the beginning to a long, agonizing descent. — tags​