like you're satin in a coffin | coyotepaw

[Juniperfrost]

He had left Coyotepaw alone for the most part, let him get used to WindClan and interact with the other apprentices who seemed all too eager to help him adjust. Thankfully he took to it well, a sure sign he was meant for the moors and not those pathetic kittypet lovers in the pine forest. It was a wonder he didn't get brought back wearing some cutesy collar or something for all the good that clan did to his development. Thankfully, he seemed resilient in his own way and was even being trained by Sootstar. Juniperfrost was optimistic he'd come to prefer WindClan in due time.
Again he is reminded of how the chance to know his kits was taken from him by Leopardcloud's nonsense, how she couldn't have just left on her own and let his children be raised properly. It is enough to make his stomach fill with a dark anger, twist at his insides with a rage he never lets slip past the surface. She's lucky she died before he found her.

Having asked for a moment of the young tom's time once he was able to do so after his leg healed somewhat more, he guides them along a hunting path-decided to be productive with their talk in case the chance for good prey arose. In Leaf-bare he could not risk not hunting if he could avoid it, so he kept his voice low as he spoke and his eyes scanning the moorlands for any sign of life.
"You did well. From what I heard from Weaselclaw you threw yourself into the battle admirably." A slow nod was given and he hummed thoughtfully to himself, "That you did not run and remained to defend your clan, I'm proud of you."
It was baffling that Hyacinthbreath did not share his opinion, she should be praising her daughter for her bravery. Not screaming at their lead warrior for taking her into a battle. Did she think her child still in the nursery? They were apprentices, soon-to-be warriors of WindClan and this incessant babying of them was grating on his nerves. He did not treat his apprentice this way. Windpaw would get his lessons and would understand he was not some kitten being pampered; he was a solider.
"How are you feeling about it all?" Was he proud of himself or was that pair of screaming mother's fits enough to sway him from basking in his glory. "I believe I also told you that you could ask my questions whenever you liked...you're welcome to now if it suits you." But he would not push the issue, it was obvious there was some curiousity regarding what lead to him and Squirrelpaw being taken away.

@Coyotepaw
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[Coyotecrest]

I won't apologize for being who I am

He was shocked and to be completely honest, quite nervous after his father sought him out specifically. He felt as if he shouldn't be anxious, that he should be ecstatic to have his father's attention. But he knew little to nothing about the tom and that effectively made Juniperfrost practically a stranger. He'd just come to realize his father was alive the day Sootstar came demanding Squirrelpaw and himself back from the proverbial clutches of skyclan. All he had was a name, a face, and a snippet of personality to go by thus far.

Snow quietly crunches underneath his paws as they weave their way through the frosted grasses of the moors. Assuming they were only together on a silent hunt Coyote focused on the task at hand to help distract himself from the awkward pressure he was feeling buried within. It was not until he heard the deep rumbling whisper of his father that he broke concentration. No longer focusing on the frozen hills he looks to the equally cold warrior who murmured praises for his supposed bravery. The boy's gut twisted and flipped on itself, guilt twisting its knife as pride seemed to ooze from Juniper's very form. No. He did not toss himself into battle to defend windclan. It was the realization of a horrible trade off. That maybe instead of trying to enact peace a fight to stay in skyclan would've been the better option. It was frustration, grief, and anger that fueled his motives. A toxic concoction of emotions that blended together so fervently from his loss of adoptive family and secondary home that it caused him to dive upon the first cat he saw.

Deep down he knew that riverclan warrior did not deserve his attacks and neither did their apprentice. But at the time, in some pitifully sick way it felt better to take it out on someone else under the guise of "fighting for your clan." than to hold it in any longer. Of course he would never admit it. How could he without possibly being flayed alive and being marked treacherous. His attention fell forward once more mumbling a low "I...don't know, feels pretty surreal I guess." as his eyes scan the horizon. Juniper offers a bit of trivia and this is something that does pique his interest. "Mom...never talked about you and once she finally did it wasn't anything good." Leopardcloud practically described Juniper as some sort of rabid monster. "She was scared of you. Why?" Just one question of many as he turned to look upon the tom.​

Tryna throw shade on me say a lot 'bout you​

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[Juniperfrost]

Even if Coyotepaw had a very different reason for acting as he did, it was still a step in the right direction and Juniperfrost wasn't going to pick apart the young tom's statement to find anything to criticize, because he didn't feel it necessary.

"Of course she didn't, we didn't really part on good terms. I had hoped she might have told you something though..." He wasn't surprised to find out they didn't know he existed, he was more surprised she hadn't just told them he was dead or they'd never come from WindClan or some other lie to put as much distance between them as she could; more forceful alienation of the kits he also helped bring in this world, who he also wanted to watch grow up. In a rare shift of not appearing so stoic he gave a heavy sigh that seemed more defeated than annoyed like his usual ones. That she was scared of him was obvious, she'd taken his kits and ran-was he not supposed to be angry to know this? Was he to forgive her for acting in such a childish way?
"Please do not mistake my words for insults or criticism, but Leopardcloud was not ever going to be happy in WindClan. She had a soft heart and weak body, this is not a judgement on her character-after all, I did love her once." Once. There was none of it left now, not after the grief she caused him. He found he could not even mourn her death as he had seen it coming, that she died before he could see her face to face was either a blessing or a curse.

"She was never going to make it in this place, I would have been fine seperating and her leaving but then she got pregnant and she must have felt trapped despite us both having wanted kits." It was the only thing he could think of to make her run as she had done so, put their kits at risk so young to get away from it all. Foolishness, but he would not dwell on that now.
"In my misguided efforts to help her be stronger perhaps I was too harsh at times, but it was never to be needlessly cruel. I should have instead let her be, encouraged her to leave but a part of me wanted her to stay, to adapt in a way she was not capable of. We're more strict here in WindClan, encourage strength in ways most clans might deem too much. We do not want to simply survive, we want to thrive and I believe it a possibility under Sootstar's rule, the unfortunate downside to it is that not all cats are capable of holding their own here."
Too many of the cats here were useless, taking up space to complain and whine how miserable they were and how much they didn't like being here as if they could not simply leave and stop eating the prey meant for more deserving WindClanners. That rabbit that Weaselclaw lost was precious food they had so little of, yet the clan had disgraced them by offering apologies over a border and sympathy to their enemy who took it; pathetic, all of them.
They made the proud WindClan look weak.

"There are many cats here who do not enjoy how we are structured, how we use claws to train and how we focus on our own and no one else, but with prey scarce and not many capable soldiers how are we to survive if we are not even a little ruthless in our decision making?"

It occured to him that such a discussion might be a little heavy for such a young cat to process, but he was not sure how else to explain and answer without being open and honest with his exact feelings of the situation. Coyotepaw would understand or he would ask more questions to understand. Talking to children like they were, well, children was not something Juniperfrost was skilled in.

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