private LLUEVE Y LLUEVE EN MI CORAZÓN / smokethroat

FIGHT SO DIRTY BUT YOU LOVE SO SWEET It was later within the day that the molly finds herself passing by the willow tree, her eyes shifting away as if she's seen a ghost and cannot will herself to stare it down, and her heart fills with a heavy sadness. It's a heartbeat or two before she lifts her gaze and her curiosity gets the best of her, Beepaw stepping forth to see if Smokethroat was resting in the den but no one was there. It's a mess and clearly had been tampered with by the rogues that had taken over their home for a while and once wide pupils narrow into slits seeing how the nest was in ruins, half eaten prey along with bones scattered about, and it didn't smell of her fathers and if it did it was faint compared to the stronger stench of those fleabitten trespassers. The river princess hesitant and cautious, she takes a step into the den and then another, her senses flooded, and her feelings becoming overwhelming once more.

She's little again tumbling about and trying to get her littermates to play with her, Beekit nearly stumbling over the long cervine-like limbs that belonged to Cicadastar and he cranes his neck to nudge her forth onto her paws of which she graciously offers a toothy grin. The bicolored molly forgetting what she was going to tell her siblings but she turned to them owl eyed, grin on her face, and curly pelt supporting a few twigs and leaves before it dawns on her before squeaking excitedly to Cicadakit and Starlightkit. Her paws waving around wildly to emphasis and exaggerate a little on what she had seen, how her younger siblings would look upon her with curiosity and she asks if they wanted to follow her and see the wonderful thing she had witnessed. Her brother ducking his head before giving his usual response to getting dragged along her and Starlightkit's adventures and the starblessed named kitten immediately leaping to their paws with just as much enthusiasm.

Her paws begin to remove the tattered clumps of moss and gather them into a pile before picking it up with her jaws, she proceeds to dump it outside with the rest of the debris she had gathered. She remembers how Brookpaw had been kind enough to help her pick out a nest and weave reeds as well as shells into it, Beepaw wonders if she could find anything similar to those materials. She walks along the where river kisses the shore of their camp proceeding to pick out the prettiest pebbles or the rounder ones, reeds, duck feathers (which made her sneeze quite a few times with how they tickled her nose), and lastly new moss for the den. The loss of the river king and her father had been a hard blow to many, her siblings, herself, and Smokethroat most of all. She could never imagine losing someone that she loved in such a way, the loyalty, and her mentor being more than just a deputy that sat at the kings side.

The bicolored apprentice sighs through a mouthful of moss as she sits in the den doing her best to try and weave a suitable nest for her remaining parent, she loves him dearly and hopes that her efforts of tidying the leaders den is enough to express it. Her eyes look up briefly focusing on the sight of something round that's not the pebbles she had collected earlier, her paw extending forward only to hook it onto one of her claws realizing that it was a moss ball. It seems one of the many she used to play with hadn't been tossed out and a small, wistful smile forms on her maw drawing it closer and a part of her simply wants to swat it once more to see how it soared in the air like they used to. How she tumbled and scrambled after them always trying to get Cicadakit to play with her, in her eyes, it was the best game since she thought she had been really good at it.

Her small round figure is pressed to a thinner and more lanky frame of Cicadakit, her eyes wide as the full moon and fireflies flew above them. Starbugs is what she had called them and one day, she swore to her brother that she would catch one between her paws when she was older. The pair eventually curling close together dozing off or Beekit struggling to keep awake anyways and her vision grows dark seeing large paws making it's way in her direction. Beekit having fallen asleep and briefly wakes later to find herself in the warm embrace of her family, a sleepy smile on her face before curling into Smokethroat's side feeling safe.

She bats the moss ball away as it rolls to the entrance and hits a snowy paw that matches her own, Beepaw blinks her mismatched eyes before looking to see him standing outside of the den. The several mixed emotions that she feels making her unable to speak and she uses her paw to push back the reeds to the side and briefly glancing at her decent effort of a nest, she finds herself unable to meet his gaze wondering if he would be upset that she was in here. Somewhere she didn't belong even if she breathed her first breath within the willow tree's safety.

  • beekit_chibi.png
    ❥ 4 moons old
    ❥ riverclan apprentice
    ❥ sexuality unknown; single
    ❥ daughter of cicadastar and smokethroat
    ❥ sister of cicadapaw & starlightpaw
    "speech", thoughts, attacking
    ❥ easy; still learning how to fight
    ❥ peaceful powerplay allowed
 
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He is afraid of the dark in a way he can’t describe, it is not simply just the prospect of no light that burrows sharpness into his chest; grips him with a fear he can not comprehend. There are things that come when his eye closes and he can feel them settling uncomfortable over him like a veil, digging inward through carefully cultivated walls to fill him with toxins. He’s terrified of sleeping, knows that in doing so he can not defend himself from what lurks in every orifice of his mind; thoughts riddled with holes the unease can seep into and worry away.
He does not fear the dark per se, only what it brings-what comes when it falls overhead. His own worst enemy is himself, so he finally chooses to not face it.
He hasn't slept in the den since returning, his nightly wanderings keep him away and he caught snatches of rest and sleep throughout the day to spare him its oppressiveness. Smokethroat wishes he could just be rid of the entire thing, replace it with a new tree unattached to memories that will not haunt him as he enters it, but that was impossible and unreasonable. The willow tree was part of their home, it was here forever and eternal unlike the cats who lived alongside it.

Shuffling draws him near, he expects to find a kitten causing mischief, an apprentice up to some game, instead he finds mismatched eyes - fire and ice.
Beepaw is inside. To say he is surprised is an understatement, he gives a brief jump but relaxes just as quickly; his daughter looks as shocked as he was and she looks away - sheepish, unsure. It takes a moment for him to take it all in, the nest being worked on and the bedding she had carried in. Efforts to clean, where he had ignored it. It occurs to him only then that this is not just the den he and Cicadastar once shared. This was where his children were born, raised until they were apprentices; it offered something more to them than it did him. The memories hurt him, but there were good ones as well. Nosing black and white fur into his side, pondering names and wincing at each chosen in turn until he got the chance to pick one as well.
Beepaw, his little bug, named for a cat he missed desperately more and more; accented by his mate's absence as well.
"...my little worker bee, you've been busy..."
How selfish he'd been, of course it was noticed that he stopped sleeping in here. Of course he couldn't forsake it fully. "...I was thinking...of lining it with feathers..."


  • OOC can go here.

  • 57913530_r2t3y4lghl4FDra.png
    Smokestar
    —⊰⋅ Leader of RiverClan
    —⊰⋅ He/Him
    "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
    —⊰⋅ Black tom w/vitiligo & one orange eye.