private look to the rising sun ~ stormpaw

[Flamestar]

A chance to spend the day with her daughter...it was quite the rare opportunity. Of course, she had jumped on it, eager to spend time with one of her kits. They didn't get many opportunities to spend as much time together as she would like, but things were different in the clan. As a loner, she had spent all day with her mother, up until she had gotten too injured to hunt. After that, her mother had primarily stayed behind in their own makeshift den, and Flame had hunted for the both of them. It had taken her quite some time to get used to the separation after her two kits earned their apprentice names, but with the help of Howlingstar and the other queens in the nursery at the time, she had somewhat gotten over it. It still scared her that someday, one of them could come back hurt after an outing, but she had to have faith in their mentors.

Her daughter padded alongside her, their pelts brushing occasionally. She turned to glance at Stormpaw, her gaze full of affection. "You've grown up so much." Tears begged to come out, but she held them in...instead, her voice cracked with emotion. It seemed like just the other day that her and Falconpaw were running around her paws, chasing bugs and tormenting their denmates. Soon, she would be earning her full name. The thought sent chills through her...she had barely contained herself during their apprentice ceremonies!

//
@STORMPAW ​

 

[STORMFEATHER]

By now, Stormpaw had shed her soft kitten coat, and her body though still in the gangly form of a "teenage" cat, was well-formed and nearly adult-like. Her stature was the only thing that was holding her back from standing equally among the other older apprentices, but her face had gained a level of maturity that she was proud to hold. Of course, she could hardly remember being so small and young, and most of her bizarre kitten antics were recounted to her by those older, which caused her to blush with shame. She was not a stupid little thing anymore, Stormpaw huffed. She was training to be a warrior of ThunderClan.

The moments she got to have with her mother alone were comforting. They had not been so close in a while now, and Stormpaw had been hiding something from her for a few moons now. Or maybe she already knows. Stormpaw thought with a sinking feeling. How many hunts had her mother witnessed her fail at? What had Owlear told her?

Stormpaw chuckled sheepishly, but she remained guarded. "I know..." She mumbled.

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[Flamestar]

"I know..."

Her daughter's response was merely more than a mumble, causing her to stop in her tracks. The mother tilted her head worriedly, searching Stormpaw's gaze. She seemed...guarded. Was one of the other apprentices bullying her? If that was the case...she would make sure they were never taken off of tick duty! She took a paw step closer, attempting to push her muzzle towards her kit, to hopefully lick the top of her head between her ears like she had done during her daughter's kithood. "Is something the matter dear?" she would ask softly, hoping Stormpaw would open up. Her daughter was a proud soul...she had inherited the strength that she was named for.

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[STORMFEATHER]

Stormpaw trembled under her mother's tongue. She had not been diligent enough to hide her unease. While she would have preferred to keep her insecurities to herself, they were piling up more and more over her little shoulders and in that split moment, perhaps, there was a cry for help. Stormpaw let it escape and tasted defeat.

She took in a deep breath. She would have expected herself to cry, but strangely the tears did not come. The fur along her back twitched and ruffled. Anger sparked up in her chest.

"I'm not good at being a hunter!" She blurted out, ducking her head out from under Flamewhisker's chin. She glanced at her mother and then twisted her head away. "I keep failing over and over again. I barely bring back anything in my hunting patrols. When Owlear asks me to track—I can't do it—I don't know why... I just can't follow it." She swallowed. "I just can't do it like you and Flycatcher." She mumbled.

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[Flamestar]

She could feel her daughter tremble, and a quick wave of panic started to stir within her. Was she about to cry? What had happened that she hadn't noticed yet? She went to draw her tongue over Stormpaw's forehead again, but she was interrupted by Stormpaw's sudden outburst about not being good at hunting. Her jaws parted to say something, but her kit ducked her head out from her reach, and turned away after casting a quick glance at her mother. She blinked worriedly, tilting her head slightly to the right. One of her front paws lifted as she tried to catch Stormpaw's gaze, but it was no use.

Hurt was replaced by the panic that she had been feeling. Not because of her daughter's claimed failures, but because her daughter felt like she had to hunt like her and Flycatcher. "Stormpaw." she began, reaching out a paw to gently try to lift her kit's chin, and hopefully get her to make eye contact. "There is more to being a warrior than just hunting...Every cat has their own skills. Mine may be hunting...but your father is really good at climbing, Raccoonstripe is an excellent fighter, Tansyshine excels at caring for kits." She paused, flicking her tail to touch the torbico's shoulder. "Your father and I love you. We want you to be the best you, you can be." ​

 

[STORMFEATHER]

Stormpaw trembled and remained still as her mother reached over to raise her chin. Stormpaw blinked up at her, ice blue irises against forest green. That moment of contact passed in peaceful silence for a heartbeat before she backed up and freed herself. She shook her head with despair. No, she wanted to say.

"It's not about me!" She cried, fur raising up to her hackles. "It's not about me! It's about legacy and-and-and giving back to the Clan. The Clan is more important than one cat. What the Clan needs is a warrior who can do everything." For so long she had keep her thoughts bottled up, raising herself to these high expectations and striving to become what ThunderClan wanted her to become. She held such an idealized figure in her mind that realizing she was unable to attain it was crushing her.

Legacy. She lived among all the relatives of Howlingstar and was ashamed of how envious she was of them all despite her own parentage.

"All I wanted..." She whispered. "Was to honor you and dad. I don't know... that's what I see is important. Almost all of Howlingstar's kin are in high places. But ... I keep failing you both."

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