pafp LOUISE NEVER HEARD ABOUT PUPPY LOVE ♡ rta + decorating and love talk

[sneezepaw]

"Mother, can you decorate my fur?"

Rested against Duckshimmer's belly lay Sneezepaw, lazily watching the sun dip below the horizon with half-open eyes. At his paws rested a few flowers, of which he hoped the petals would compliment his striped pelt. Upon asking his question, he sat up into a loaf position and gave his mother a bright smile. Since his sixth moon, apprenticeship has proven itself busy - oh, how he missed the time spent with his mother.

Duckshimmer was a charmer - there was no denying it. The way she carried herself around camp was almost ethereal, floating about like a butterfly and blessing her Clanmates with her compliments and decorations. As a nursery kit, Sneezepaw might have been embarrassed by such behaviors; but now that he's grown, he's become more intrigued by the concept of beauty and romance. Especially with the gossip he's been hearing lately - the inquiries of love he heard between Duckshimmer and Swansong outside the warriors' den.

"I have a question," the tabby mewed, whenever Duckshimmer began to work at his fur. He was never opposed to having flowers woven into his pelt, but this was the first time he's ever asked for it. It was an experimentation, more or less, of his presentation. "I remember.. the apprentices talking about 'crushes' and mates, back when I first moved in. And - well, I heard you talking to Swansong about the same thing. But.. I don't really understand."

He was just a baby, still; of course he didn't quite grasp the concept of love, in that way. But the way Duckshimmer spoke about it so elegantly and poetically, it sounded so serene and beautiful that he couldn't quite ward off the curiosity. The idea of 'love' as he knew it, was highly romanticized - though he didn't quite understand the depth of it, he had always wanted his own fairytale love, like a prince and princess. That's all it was, right? "Were you ever in love? Do.. you think I'll ever be in love? How do you know when you're in love?"
​

CHARACTER INFORMATION — ♡ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ♡ — OUT OF CHARACTER

• sneezekit SNEEZEPAW
  ━━ APPRENTICE of SHADOWCLAN | 6 MOONS ,, ages every 2nd
  ━━ DUCKSHIMMER xx NPC | SIBLING to SINGEPAW and SWALLOWPAW
  ━━ MATE to none | PARENT to none
  ━━ MENTOR to none | MENTORED by SHARPSHADOW​
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• speech is #ffcc8a
  please wait for @Duckshimmer ​

 

[Duckshimmer]

*+:｡.｡ Mothers do not have favorite children. That would be blasphemous, truly! But she could understand why someone outside - not her, of course - would look upon her little and perhaps take note of which one was quite unlike the others. If Swallowpaw and Singepaw were built from Duckshimmer's fire and ambition, then Sneezepaw took only the softness of her coat. That kindness he held was all his own. A miracle blossom born among the weeds of Duckshimmer's heart and soul. No, the woman did not have favorites, but she did hold a protective spot in her heart for her littlest boy.

Duckshimmer wasn't the greatest mom in the world. Her kittens had been in an accident. Raising them had been a pain. She believed she wasn't ever meant to be a mom and for that, she'd often shake her little one's away from clinging to her leg if she could help it. Luckily, Singepaw and Swallowpaw were always eager to take off running when they got the chance, so Ducky didn't need to worry about them bothering her. Sneezepaw though...was a little harder to bat away. Perhaps because he was persistent. Perhaps because she just...couldn't say no to those sweet amber eyes of his.

Looking down at them now, she wonders again how she managed to create such a beautiful little life. If it wasn't for their shared chocolate fur, she might've thought he'd been snuck into her litter by mistake! Ah, but he wears the color far better than she.

Reaching out a paw, she strokes her boy's cheek as he asks her, suddenly, to decorate his fur. Flowers were a rare commodity in Shadowclan. But with springtime cats - totally not herself - had begun inching a bit too close to the borders' other side to reach some of the more vibrant petals. Not her, no sir! There's no way she'd ask to go on extra patrols along Windclan's border where she'd feign a sore paw to hang back from the others and perhaps crept over the line by mistake to grab a few red clovers, bird's foot, and daisies...absolutely no way.
She absolutely found them growing in the unforgiving swamp, is all!

Humming softly, Duckshimmer would mew, "Why of course my little duckling, gives me a chance to sort out that cow lick situation you've got in your handsome locks" Rasping her tongue over his ear, she recalls how much easier it had been when he was littler to groom his pelt. Much less to work with back then. Ah...he's gotten so big. She wonders distantly if he'll ever outgrow her?

As she works untangling knots and placing flowers into his smoothed fluff, he speaks up again. A question? Her ear twitches as her baby begins the conversation around crushes. She knows instantly where he's going with this, and can't help but feel a strain to her smile. Crush talk with her son? Oh no. She'd heard parents joking about having a 'birds and the bees' talk with their kits, but Duckshimmer had always hoped they'd just figure it out amongst themselves. To tell her glowing baby boy the origin of his conception made an odd pit form in the middle of her stomach.
Oh gross - Duckshimmer wanting to protect her kid's innocence ew, yuck, what was she, a mom?.

Starclan, Duckshimmer felt old.

But her discomfort begins to wane as he continues. Sneezepaw asks his questions with a voice tinged with dreaminess. She can practically see his thoughts, the way he glows at the idea of finding this perfect 'romance'. Suddenly, Duckshimmer wishes he'd just asked where babies come from instead. Brushing her claws through his fur, she does her best not to yank too hard at any knots. The last thing she wants is to hurt her kid. This boy was made of sunshine and warm soil, so full of life and kindness, a generosity Duckshimmer herself couldn't find within her if she tried.
One question, at least, is easy to answer.
"You will find love, my sweet boy, that I can assure you. But don't forget that you already have it in your paws as we speak" she purrs, licking his ear before reaching forward and placing her own paw in his. She squeezes his hand, admiring how soft his pads are - not yet calloused by moons of abuse along harsh ground and slippery rocks. They're so much bigger than the little nubs he'd been born with. He can walk just fine on his own now, can't he?
How strange it is that he still reaches out for his pathetic mom, though, huh?

"I love you more than life itself, never forget that" she purrs, nuzzling his ear again before resuming twining his fur with petals, "but I understand you're talking about a different kind of love. The kind you find with someone not in your bloodline. The kind you choose" She thinks about his questions for a beat longer. A part of her wants to lie to him. To give him more hope rather than a reality check. A even worse part of her wants suddenly to do nothing more but crush that dreaminess in him. To tell him to keep that breathlessness to himself, to never let anyone see it lest they catch you at your weakest.
She wants to protect him.
Pulling her claws through his fur, it catches on another knot.
Part of her...wants to hurt him.
She instead slips her nails free and uses her tongue to smooth the tanglement loose.

"No. I've never been in love" she finally admits, cold but not entirely bitter. "to put it simply, I've never had the opportunity" she mulls a thought, then lets out a soft laugh, "nor have I ever possessed the bravery for it, I'm afraid" She thinks then of her son's father. Some nameless, faceless rogue now gone to the abyss of time. She wonders what he'd think of this boy, curled up in her lap. What...he thinks of her. Older. More withered. Less of a prize, she'd imagine.
Biting back the bitterness, she focuses on her littlest. Placing a delicate flower on the nape of his neck, she admires his fur for a moment. His scent, his demeanor, the pressure of him against her belly.
"But I think I know what it's like" she finally whispers, curling her tail around her son's.

"It's wonderful. And a little scary. It's a little exciting, but a little annoying, too" She plucks at a stray hair, smiling as she remembers wrestling her youths into compliance for their grooms. "Perhaps your love story will be like mine, and you won't be ready for it when it comes. Sometimes, you might even be asked to change for this person when they come into your life. They'll ask for your attention, and your care, and...they may even take pieces from you. Pieces you...can't ask for back" She thinks about Singepaw in the medicine den, Swallowpaw and his cold, cold eyes.
"But...somehow, you won't mind it. Somehow, you'll feel safer with them holding that part of you, and you won't ever ask for it back. One day, you may wake up, look at this cat, and see them looking back at you with just as much love as you feel for them and you'll wonder to yourself 'How is it that someone could ever look at me like that? What did I ever do to deserve it?'"
Her breath hitches for a moment, recalling the day she looked down to see three pairs of eyes looking up at her. Mewling for milk, for warmth...for her. And in their eyes, she saw herself mewling right back for them, too.

Sighing, she brushes away a dewdrop from her eye and grins at her boy. "And your answer will be 'Because I'm just that amazing!'" she exclaims, suddenly pouncing on her son by wrapping her arm around him and dragging him closer, showering him with licks.

"Does that answer your questions, my sweet?"

*+:｡.｡ Updated 12/15/23

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• 
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ⚜ Duckshimmer
  ⚜ DFAB— She/Her — Bisexual
  ⚜ 30 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ⚜ Mother to Singepaw, Swallowpaw and Sneezepaw
  ⚜ Shadowclan — Warrior
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ⚜Physically hard | mentally hard
  ⚜ Attack in bold #ffa98f
  injuries: None currently

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[SHARPSHADOW]

Sharpshadow sets herself awkwardly to the side of... her apprentice, she supposes— and her apprentice's mother. An actual caretaker in the same room as whatever leftovers Chilledstar had for Sneezepaw, and apparently, that had come down to her. Sharpshadow hadn't too much of a clue just what kind of mother she was. Was she the kind that wouldn't spare even a lick to her kit that had fallen down? Or the kind that only needed a glimpse into Sharpshadow's eyes to know that she was unworthy? He avoids her gaze, just in case.

Sneezepaw has a lot of loaded questions, apparently, and Sharpshadow's thankful that they're angled at Duckshimmer rather than himself. Maybe it runs in the family, because, apparently Duckshimmer has some sort of thesis on this kind of thing already. Sharpshadow can't look like she's paying too much attention to whatever it is she's saying. It's clear that there was a lot he didn't know about Duckshimmer. Some nosy part of him that had been told to mind its business countless times rears its ugly head, and has curious eyes glancing in her direction. He averts them before he can look for too long.

They'll take pieces of you, what a scary thing that sounds like. If anyone ever tried to take pieces of her they'd probably only find bad ones. Maybe something that was alright once, but since has been molded over.

But... somehow, you won't mind it, and unconsciously, she shakes her head. Somehow, you'll feel safer with them holding that part of you. And she shakes and shakes, because she doesn't think that could ever be her.

The last of her rant is clearly for Sneezepaw, and Sneezepaw only. She thinks she's missed her chance to say something stupid like, wow... how incredible, or... whatever it was a lovestruck -paw might say, so... she ought to think of something better to say then.

" I like the way you put it, " Quietly, he says at last. It wasn't as confusing as the explainations he's heard before, nor as vague. It didn't make it sound... so unquestioningly grand as others liked to put it. It seemed... fair; realistic. ...Not like he had any experience.​