- Feb 11, 2024
- 162
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Hiding out underneath the canopy of a generous oak tree was Owlheart, she had wandered out with the intent to bird watch. It had gone semi well, there was a jay that looked quite young out and about and she had caught a glimpse of a robin too! She would have deemed this a successful venture until the rain had rolled in, she supposed that she was too busy focusing on the birds that she hadn't even considered that the Greenleaf weather should be considered too. For the most part she had kept dry, the foliage of the tree above her worked hard to keep her from looking like a wet wreck of a cat.
She tucked her tail underneath her, grimacing at the fact that it had been victim to the saturation. With a frustrated sigh she gazed out at the layers of rain that rolled in, letting her mind drift off to how quickly life had rolled by. The idea of being allowed out whenever to go bird watching now that she was a warrior was a novelty that hadn't washed off her yet, now she had an apprentice under her guidance too. That was terrifying, she was excited but horrified at the idea, was she ready to have the responsibility of another on her shoulders like that? Cloudpaw was older than a freshly made apprentice, around ten moons or so if she could recall, so that would be a little easier but what would she do with someone who's only six moons? She liked to think she's in a better spot then how she was a few moons ago, she could handle that responsibility.
Though, Owlheart found that she enjoyed spending time with kits and young apprentices but that she often found herself overthinking any interaction she had with them. The fear that one little lapse in information or the wrong advice would set them on a life trajectory for failure. The topic of kits had begun to spring up a lot around her. Was there some kind of deadline that she had reached for that topic to blossom like a flower in the Newleaf? First Tawnyclaw had brought it up, while it flustered her, she could just excuse it as something her brother would say to wind her up. He did that sometimes, she knew it came from a place of love though, still, she hadn't considered the idea of kits before that was brought up.
Then Oddgleam had brought it up, wonderful and perfect Oddgleam. Adorned in a halo of flowers and the morning sun highlighting his fur, they were beautiful. The image was burned into her mind, she could happily just sit under the tree and think about him for the rest of the day. Yet her mind pulled to the fact that they had asked about kits as well, he might want them one day. When he asked about her feelings regarding having kits, she was extremely nervous. Elated at the idea but once again she hadn't considered it at all, in Owlheart's mind you needed to be mates before having kits.
As she grew older, she understood that doesn't always happen, everyone's journeys into having kits or becoming mates were different and the two ideas weren't mutually inclusive. If she wanted kits in general, then did she want kits with Oddgleam? The question implied wanting kits with him rather than wanting them in general. The idea was sobering, did she want kits with them? She was certain that she did, for once there was no overthinking over it. The decision was natural, like an obvious solution to a simple question. If she wanted kits with them though then did she want to be mates with Oddgleam and Crowsight? The answer came to her just as quickly, she did. Stars she really wanted to, the idea of being with them beyond padding after them caused her heart to skip a beat. Crowsight being injured like that by some ThunderClan warrior had brought the unsettling realisation that not everything would last forever, while she didn't want to bumble into things blind it had brought clarity that she would regret it if she never at least talked about being mates with them.
The warm weather had become hot, not due to the actual temperature, it was still raining after all. No, it was rather because she had become extremely flustered over the idea, the realisation that she desired to be mates with Crowsight and Oddgleam. How was she supposed to navigate beyond this realisation, what was she supposed to do from here?
She didn't even know that padding was a word before her feelings for her partners, so did she even know what being mates entailed? She supposed she didn't, that made things daunting. Though, the three of them agreed to just follow what they thought padding was when they all started dating, would the same thing be applied here? Maybe there were customs that she should be following about this. Talking about mates and courting and things like that were lost on her, she never paid attention to it until love had reared its head towards her.
Maybe Orangestar will know what to do, her mother steered her in the right direction before so maybe she could now. As she thought about it she huffed, lightly gnawing fangs on her tongue to give her something else to worry about. That's when the sound of the rain drizzle had loosened, as she looked up, she noticed that the sun rose above the treetops. A rainbow faintly highlighted in the sky, it felt like a sign, maybe she was just clinging to false hope. Pushing herself up from where she was reclining, she made her way towards the leaders den, hoping her mother had the free time to hear her out.