private MADE OF MEMORIES \ hailstorm

[BERRYHEART]

A huge white shape in the corner of Berryheart's vision caught his attention. That pelt was situating itself back into his memory, drifting into permanence. Cloudy, a close friend of his sisters, who had been so close to her in death he had been able to recount the events of it. Before, the large tom had helped around the den a fair amount. A recurring figure that Berryheart had grown very used to, a sudden removal and equally-as-sudden reappearance was a little jarring. Still, any of that faltering did not show on the medicine cat's face- he greeted Cloudy with the same neutral politeness which he extended to everybody.

Sadness still stewed within him, but he would not cry. He was delivering moss, apparently- Berryheart noticed the plushness of it, atypical in the colder months. It was as verdant as leaf-fall moss could be- a hidden talent of Cloudy's, perhaps? Or perhaps just an accidental find, wonderful as it was.

"Thank you." Quiet gratitude, flat-toned. After a moment of thought, he opened his crooked maw again. He did not quite think about the touchiness of the subject.

"My sister was a hero, you said?" Maybe it would give him consolation that she had died for something noble. Maybe it would give him nothing at all.

\ @HAILSTORM. !​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

I SEE A SONG OF PAST ROMANCE — He has mixed feelings about being home from the perilous journey that had given the reward of lungwort yet had taken someone precious to those back within Thunderclan. A daughter, a mother, and a sister to many that lived in Thunderclan. A lover once to someone who lived in a different clan and a final lover to Hailstorm, the hearts that she had touched amongst the journey but his own hurt and bled now. A part of him doesn't want to clear out her nest mostly due to feeling like it wasn't his right to do so even if he had been her mate so he brings fresh moss for others in hopes of distracting his mind not wanting to think of her again. First, he wanted to help Thunderclan back onto its feet before even taking a moment for himself. His clan came first always.

He smiles through the bundle of moss that he's brought for Berryheart and nods his head placing it down carefully before visibly flinching at the mottled tom's next question. Hesitantly, the mountain of fur lifts his head to match his gaze with Berryheart's and his smile faltering into a sad one before offering a nod "She is... She found the lungwort and saved... Cherrypaw." A lot of the journey cats could be considered heroes for finding the cure but Little Wolf was more of a hero than he would ever be and a shaky breath leaves his maw, he swallows bitterly not willing himself to break "I wish I could have been that for her... She would be here... But the eagle..." Hailstorm turns his eyes away when he felt them stinging, his chest aching, and ears flat against his skull.

He dares not share how gruesome it was. How broken her body had been and far from repair.

✦ I SEE THE SACRIFICE OF MAN; I SEE PORTRAYALS OF BETRAYALS

• 
  ✦ longhaired blue sepia tom w/low white and brown eyes
  ✦ amab he/him ; other pronouns used towards him will confuse him
  ✦ 49 moons old
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic; mates with little wolf
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ semi-difficult in combat; relies on strength, his large size, and wits
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[BERRYHEART]

An eagle. A death at the hands of something powerful, for the life of another. As he had predicted, it offered him very little in terms of solace. And though his emotional intelligence was not as sharp as his memory, he could tell that looking back to the scene dampened Cloudy's spirits, to say the very least. Berryheart swallowed- it felt like gravel sliding down his throat, rubble knocking against itself and slicing at his oesophagus.

All of Berryheart's hesitation was strictly reserved to his face. Lopsided and darkened with a frown, all of his thoughts kept situated there. "There was no fixing her wounds, I imagine." He spoke plainly, despite the sensitivity. Not once did he meet the chocolate gaze of the larger tom- Berryheart looked through him, as if the ghost of his sister was standing behind and he could see each unmendable wound streaked across her starry form like comets.

A sigh pushed through shambolic fangs. "You were at her side, I heard." Not once did it occur to him that Cloudy might not want to talk about it. They were close, weren't they? In some manner or another. Berryheart's gaze grew slightly scrutinising. "I'm glad she had a friend. If there should be anything to be glad for."​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

I SEE A SONG OF PAST ROMANCE — He had been hoping that his answer would be good enough for Berryheart but it seems that the medicine cat continued to speak on the touchy subject yet Hailstorm does not refuse to tell him given that he's kin to his late mate and he respected the other. His gaze finally breaks away to stare down at the moss he had brought and his large paws gently brush over them with a light shake of his head "No... She was in so much pain and I doubt Magpiepaw could do much for her... Even if I wish it had been different... So she could be reunited with her family." How he wishes that he could've done something instead of trying to hold himself together and utter gentle words that he's not sure if she had even heard due to the amount of excruciating pain she was in. He draws in a sharp breath and a few tears blossom at his eyes feeling one of them drip onto the ground before lifting a paw to wipe the others that threatened to fall.

"Yes... I was..." He sits up once more though this time he does not meet the medicine cat's gaze with his own pained one, he looks elsewhere but at Berryheart. What is he supposed to say? He open and closes his jaws like a gaping fish, he tries to think of what is best to say in this situation and he bites down on his tongue. A sigh slips from him and the pale furred warrior sits as he finally admits with another shake of his skull "I loved her... So much... And now, she's gone." His voice growing quieter with each word that dropped from his jaws. A part of him still can't believe that she's truly resting amongst those in Starclan but he remembers how selfless she is, how brave, and caring Little Wolf had been even to the end. As much as it hurts to accept it.

✦ I SEE THE SACRIFICE OF MAN; I SEE PORTRAYALS OF BETRAYALS

• 
  ✦ longhaired blue sepia tom w/low white and brown eyes
  ✦ amab he/him ; other pronouns used towards him will confuse him
  ✦ 49 moons old
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic; mates with little wolf
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ semi-difficult in combat; relies on strength, his large size, and wits
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[BERRYHEART]

Never would he blame Magpiepaw for his sister's death; he was not an irrational being. The ShadowClan apprentice had been healing long enough to know when wounds were unfixable- but still, a nagging thought played in his head that he would never know for himself if there was anything to be done for her.

Cloudy was looking elsewhere- not into his eyes, not anymore. His gaze was clouded and strange-looking, filled with an extreme sadness that Berryheart had not expected from him. I loved her, he said. Berryheart took in a breath of realisation, and nodded slowly. It had not been simple friendship between them, then. There was love there, and love largely unexplored, for Cloudy had returned home without her. The cogs clicked together.

"I'm sorry." His speech was earnest and direct, honest but softened. He was sorry for the loss and sorry he would not stop asking about it. The stars spanned across his thoughts, a shadowy form and green eyes waiting in an azure-soaked dream. An idea drifted through his head like a chilled breeze. "She isn't gone, though. If you ever dream of StarClan, I'm certain she'd meet you there."​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

I SEE A SONG OF PAST ROMANCE — Berryheart utters an apology which causes the large tom to sniffle briefly with a nod of his head, he wasn't sure if anyone had known but he doubts it only the journey cats knew of him and Little Wolf becoming mates especially the group that had been stuck with them during that rockslide. It may have been dark and the pair had been whispering but their words bounced loudly across the cave walls or that's what he believes and now here at home, he had simply lost his best friend and he doesn't know how others would take to him being in love with Little Wolf especially her family and her children that she had left behind due to her sacrifice. At least, Orangeblossom would not mourn the loss of a daughter and Cherrypaw would arrive home scathed but alive, a reminder of what his late mate had done and he reminds himself that she would do it for anyone regardless of the clan. In the mountains, they had been their own group of cats but that had long broken apart when the first group split from the other. It's just a memory, a leaf in the breeze, and a part of him misses it.

"She isn't gone, though. If you ever dream of Starclan, I'm certain she'd meet you there."

He finds himself frowning and he's confused to think it would be that simple to dream of Starclan to see her again even if her pelt would be star kissed and pelted, it takes him a heartbeat to actually will himself to look at Berryheart when he finishes speaking. "... Would I be able to?" He finally breathes out the question unsure if it was true though he thinks further on it knowing the only cats able to truly dream with Starclan and see their ancestors or their passed were normally leaders and... Medicine cats. He remains quiet though and bites down on his tongue only waiting for Berryheart's answer.

✦ I SEE THE SACRIFICE OF MAN; I SEE PORTRAYALS OF BETRAYALS

• 
  ✦ longhaired blue sepia tom w/low white and brown eyes
  ✦ amab he/him ; other pronouns used towards him will confuse him
  ✦ 49 moons old
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic; mates with little wolf
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ semi-difficult in combat; relies on strength, his large size, and wits
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[BERRYHEART]

Interest stood patient in his gaze, dulled leaves of leaf-fall not yet orange-stained clattering together, a tick-tocking of passing time. Cloudy's face contorted in a thoughtful frown, and Berryeart prodded at the moss the large tom had brought him, studying how well-picked it was. Enough times, he'd helped in the medicine den. Before he had his student... before Freckles had lived and died on the path of a medicine cat. His heart twinged with a pang of longing and loss. He missed Freckles, he missed teaching. But one of those things, he would have again.

"If you were a medicine cat." Perhaps it could be seen as cruel, dangling a possibility in front of Cloudy, but Berryheart simply believed he was giving the tom the facts of the matter.

"It's not a decision to make lightly." Berryheart perhaps gave knowledge away too readily- he was sure Cloudy already knew some things, simply from spending a fair amount of time helping him. But he would never make the final choice for a cat. "You could never have kits." It mattered to some.

His voice grew a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat. Monotone, as ever, spilled like the river from his crooked maw. "I don't know whether you might see my sister again. I don't know how StarClan picks who visits who, if they pick at all..." Berryheart swallowed. "But I do need an apprentice."

Silver fishing-wire, star-dotted, his offer was cast. ​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

I SEE A SONG OF PAST ROMANCE — Berryheart confirms his suspicions of only medicine cats being able to dream with Starclan and he has to bite down on his tongue further to refrain himself from letting out a dry chuckle but his mind wanders and thinks about the broken body of Little Wolf, how he hadn't been able to do anything even if her wounds alone were fatal yet if he could learn and potentially prevent the same fate as hers. He can feel his large paws trembling in the slightest continuing to listen to the tortoiseshell tom speak about how it isn't a light decision to make. "You could never have kits." The words sting and finally, a dry chuckle slips from his maw already knowing that possibility, that dream had been stripped from him the moment the mountains had stripped him of his love. The kittens he had once imagined fading away completely from his mind knowing that was something he couldn't obtain to begin with or it would not be an option again dare he love again.

It was a possibility, a chance that he could be reunited with Little Wolf a lot sooner than his own descent to Starclan and his throat tightens in the slightest. His brown eyes focusing on Berryheart once more as the words "But I do need an apprentice." Slips from his crooked maw does Hailstorm consider the offer and his mind had already been made up, he has respect and faith in the medicine cat, and had been a bit devout to Starclan but now here came the chance to heal, serve his clan, and do the same as Berryheart. The mottled tom could not do it by himself and Hailstorm had helped the other several times previously, his mind imagining a star pelted Little Wolf potentially greeting him when he visits Highstones, a bittersweet reunion if their ancestors allowed him that.

With a shaky breath, the sepia tomcat dips his head respectfully and meets the gaze of Berryheart "Then teach me... I wish to continue serving Thunderclan and help the wounded as you do." I do not wish for a repeat of Little Wolf nor those injured on the journey and stand there uselessly. He finally says as the thought causes him to feel the sadness within him stir and he closes his eyes. He's not as young as Lichenpaw had been but he would work just as hard and do his best to learn each and every one of Berryheart's teachings.

"If you'll have me as your apprentice."

✦ I SEE THE SACRIFICE OF MAN; I SEE PORTRAYALS OF BETRAYALS

• 
  ✦ longhaired blue sepia tom w/low white and brown eyes
  ✦ amab he/him ; other pronouns used towards him will confuse him
  ✦ 49 moons old
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic; mates with little wolf
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ semi-difficult in combat; relies on strength, his large size, and wits
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed

​