private MASTER OF NONE \ pikesplash

[iciclefang]

She finds the silver tabby alone, near the water's edge. Twilight descends upon them, through the haze of lingering smoke from the Twoleg camp's fire; the night breeze has a chill that carries the scent of frost with it. Her short tortoiseshell pelt is fluffed up against the cold, but it is little protection from the late leaf-fall winds. Still, even as uncomfortable as she feels, Pikesplash will not catch her without a mask of cool, passive disinterest pulled over her face.

"Pikesplash." She sits a foxlength from him, making it clear she had sought him out for some purpose. Initially, Iciclefang trains her blue gaze over the river, as though she's searching for something in the shadows. Silence spans between the two warriors for what feels like an hour, although in truth, only heartbeats pass them by.

When she turns to him at last, it is with a sharp curiosity. "ShadowClan will fight alongside us soon." She regards the older tom with eyes like shards of glass. "You are fortunate that your little dalliance didn't end in war with them. How would you have felt, if you'd had to fight her in battle? Your children?" She does not name Splashdance's mother — in truth, who she is hardly matters. She is some faceless ShadowClan warrior, some nameless queen.

What matters is the root of her inquiry. She sees Pinepaw's golden eyes meeting Stormywing's, sees Cragpaw's gray fur fluffed and bleeding, Crabpaw's claws raking a tabby ear. Her heart pounds quietly within her ribcage as she waits for his response. How is it the stars have blessed you so? That Lichenstar has been so merciful toward you? That ShadowClan is so foolish, so yellow-bellied?

It is just another burden she will bear, and bear with pride, she thinks. Her children will fight the cat who'd sired them, never knowing the blood they spill onto the rocks stirs in their veins. But Pikesplash — Pikesplash is rewarded for his folly, comfortable with his truth. His secret has been spilled for all the forest to know, and he remains... at peace, relatively. The Clan does not scorn him; no, the Clan welcomes the daughter he'd given to another Clan... the glare she aims at him is full of unspent frustrations, even if she does not realize it.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: @PIKESPLASH
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 29 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

​

 

[PIKESPLASH]

Yet again the winds have become frigid. The sun rises only to fall quickly. The period of darkness they find themselves in has increased, and yet he finds himself pulled by the moon. Despite the chill that passes through his bones, he finds himself near the water's edge, lost in thought. Faintly he can register the rustling of leaves and the swaying of branches, however none can compare to the sight before him. Even though the clan has experienced loss as of late, everything washes away. There is a hunger within him that is not satiated by fish. No, this hunger demands that he return to the water's edge every night. I've never felt so at peace before.

The silver tom just barely registers his own name being called. By the time he turns to face Iciclefang, she has already seated a foxlength away from him. Green eyes merely gaze upon the tortoishell, who says nothing more. Was she being polite? The inquiry is swiftly dropped, his eyes following her own. He does not dare think of what has been running rampant in the crevices of her mind. They were not friends. She made that more than clear.

Suffocating. That is what Iciclefang is. Even as his gaze was trained beyond the river, he can feel her staring at him. Foolishly he believes he can avoid meeting her eyes, but when the mention of Shadowclan parts from her maw, he finds himself looking into blue. Shadowclan? They'll fight with us soon? It's as if his maw has been sewn shut being met with such paralyzing gaze. For a moment her pelt is replaced with a haunting black. Cicadastar? It can't be... You're dead. It is that fact alone that reminds him that the cat who addresses him is not the tom who lead them many moons ago. No, she could never be. Even if she despised him, her disgust was much different from the deceased leader. The way you looked at me was just like him.

"How would you have felt, if you'd had to fight her in battle? Your children?"

A reddish-brown ticked tabby surfaces from his memory, with the loveliest green eyes he'd ever laid eyes on. A wave of warmth replaces the bitter cold that has seeped to his bones. When the wind blows the fur on his cheek, he swears it's as if she is nuzzling his cheek once more. The sensation ever brief is welcomed. Faintly he can hear the trill of her laughter carried by the wind.

Pikesplash has uttered nothing. Before Iciclefang has the chance to repeat herself in the false assumption that he either did not hear or wished to ignore her, he begins, "I am fortunate." There is no point in denying it. He recalls when the council had decided his fate. Many were angered by his decision, his betrayal. Moonbeam to this day refused to look at him and dared not speak to him unless required. Iciclefang was harsh, that much he can remember. Snakeblink had been the only one on his side. However, Lichenstar was generous. She had only spared him not for his sake, but his daughters sake. Lichenstar could have exiled him right there and then.

If Iciclefang desired his truth, then she will receive it. There is little sense or point in trying to hide it. The pair will never be friends, but he can't help but sense that there is something else. That there is a reason why she wants to know these things. Or did she mean to scorn him? Perhaps both? Regardless, he is glad. He is glad to finally be able to speak about these things. Perhaps it is selfish of him, and yet he does not care. Finally, he can speak of secrets. “Ferndance and I have talked about it. What would happen if Shadowclan and Riverclan fought. As well as our children.”

“I will not lie to you. I can’t say I would have enjoyed sinking my claws into the one I love, but… Iciclefang, I would rather die by her claws than anyone else. There would be no regrets. We both are fulfilling our duties. She knows that I will forgive her.” Yes, that is what they settled on. They were aware of the consequences. Of each of their responsibilities towards their clans. He had never asked her to leave her clan, her home behind. Just as she never asked him to leave his clan, his home.

Of course, he could not say the same about his children. They did not know him well. He doesn't know how much Ferndance has told them. The only child he knew the most about was Splashdance and that was because she left behind her mother and littermates to be with him. To learn about the clan her father came from and become one of them. For so long he had thought he would only catch mere glimpses of his children at gatherings if he was lucky, but even though the journey was painful... He is eternally grateful to be with one of his children. That is more than he could ever ask for. "As for our children... I'm not sure. Ferndance has always said she would find me and fight me. I'm also not sure what they know of me. I know their names and what they look like, so even if they're grown I would be able to recognize them."

He is aware he hasn't answered her inquiry on that front, but it only takes him a moment to find an answer. "If I had to fight with my children... I would do it. Unlike my daughter Splashdance, I never got to know them. I don't know what my other children like or who their friends are. Of course, I wouldn't like to fight them, but I would use it as a way to know them. I will never learn who their friends are or what their favorite thing to eat is, but I will learn my children have become fierce and loyal Shadowclan warriors.

The silver tom focuses his attention to the river. Bloodwing, Bonechill, and Shadewhisker... Are you all doing well? Iciclefang will never know the pain of being unable to see your own kits. To miss their ceremonies. To be unable to visit them when they are injured or ill. To constantly wonder if they were alive and well. To hope to see them during gatherings, even if it is at a distance. It is only in his dreams that he can hold all his children. A sad smile curls from his maw, "All I can hope is that they know how much their father loves them, and that he is proud of each and every one of them."​

 

[iciclefang]

Pikesplash turns his sticky gaze Iciclefang's direction with marked hesitation. She knows he'd give anything not to be addressed by her, here on the riverbank where no one can intervene; she feels a bit like a spider who has trapped a squirming fly in her web. But she sits with the patience of a cat who caught her first fish at four moons old, with observant, burning blue eyes, with hypnotic attention. She cannot know what goes through the older warrior's head — that the cool quality of her gaze has reminded him of Cicadastar.

Perhaps if she did know, she'd be flattered.

"I am fortunate." He is brief, initially. Iciclefang's ear flicks. At least he knows how lucky he is, though it does not remove the sting from her hidden wounds. She wonders if that's all she'll wring from the silver tabby tonight, but to her surprise, he continues to answer her hard-bitten question.

"Ferndance and I have talked about it." Ferndance. So that was her name. Iciclefang has an inkling of rememberance — a ruddy-colored tabby who laughed easily; she'd sat on Chilledstar's council at one time. The tortoiseshell had not realized that was who mothered Splashdance. Plucked right from ShadowClan's council. You couldn't have chosen worse, could you?

She sees the irony in her thoughts, but she does not allow herself to dwell on it.

Pikesplash tells her he would rather die by her claws than anyone else's, that he'd not have had any regrets. She snorts. "Sounds like foolish romantic drivel to me. What of your kits? Could you stand there and let them claw you to pieces, never knowing who you are?" Would Ferndance intervene, then?

She thinks of her children, cornering a bruised Stormywing, and wonders if she'd dare to do the same. Iciclefang does not think she would. It would be kinder, wouldn't it, to let them think she was nothing more than an enemy warrior... and, unlike Pikesplash, that's all she'd ever be to them. For whatever reason, Ferndance had told her children early about their half-Clan origins...

And look what it had cost her.

Iciclefang knows, now, the anguish that Stormywing feels when she looks across the river, has always known at least in part. Pikesplash says he knows his children's names, knows what they look like, but can that ever be enough? Her mouth twitches. "Aren't you ashamed? You've given our enemy Clan fierce warriors, warriors who could steal from us, who could draw our Clan's blood. Those kits could have grown up here, where you could see them!" She does not shout — her tone remains low and cool — but her frustration with Pikesplash is clear.

She wants to shake him. She wants him to realize that she knows the depth of his mistakes. And all the while, she is fighting a battle against unseen demons, and they tear chunks from her as she wages war.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 29 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

​

 

[PIKESPLASH]

Of course, Iciclefang would not understand. He can't help the chuff that leaves his maw, when she snorts. The time for it is wrong, but she is not wrong. You hear that Ferndance? She called us romantic. "I will stand there. My children don't need to know who I am. I will forgive them, after all, they're doing their duties as warriors. I can watch them from Starclan then. That's enough for me." The answer will not please her. Even so, he finds that he doesn't care. These are his children and his feelings. What right did she have to say he was wrong in them? Maybe she could not picture him willingly allowing his own children to claw him to shreds? However, the resolve behind his answer proved it. How much of a mad tom he was in her eyes. One had to be insane to allow their death to be at the hands of their own children.

At her words his face contorts into a scowl, a rare sighting. Ashamed? Did iciclefang forget that he had always been judged? Pikesplash was his name now, but when he had joined the clan he was forced to change his name, forced to hide anything that showed his kittypet heritage. Many of the cats since then have gone off to join the stars, but he recalled their cold gazes. The way they sneered and whispered about him. Then, during Cicadastar's time when he had brought up Cicadaflight's flaws, their former leader had scorned him and brought up his blood. Once again, he was sneered at. Smokestar had thought of him as a weakling.

"What isn't there to be ashamed of Iciclefang?" The question is genuine. Before she has a chance to answer he continues, "I've been in Riverclan for many moons, but I'm still known as Pikesplash the kittypet. The weakling. The coward. The traitor. I will never be a lead warrior, and that's for the best. I'm sure you would be more than furious if that happens, not like you would be the only one. Moonbeam has been very obvious about it."

This is not the time to be sidetracked. Iciclefang should be more than aware of Moonbeam's obvious dislike towards him. The air that surrounded them was suffocating. Even if the lead warrior didn't, she had to remember the council meeting. The very same meeting where she along with others had thought his sentence was too light. Anyhow, the topic was about his children. This was not about him, therefore he quickly moves on. It is evident that the older warrior had more to say in regardless to himself, before he moves on to his kits once again.

"You consider my kits fierce? Is Splashdance a fierce warrior to you? If I remember correctly you were so against her." Pikesplash does not hide his bitterness. There is no need to. After all, they were both voicing their feelings at hand. It wasn't as if he told a lie either. He had watched the lead warrior interact with his daughter from a distance. "Let's say I brought these kits to Riverclan, asked a queen to foster them... And all of them grew to be Riverclan warriors, what of their mother? She will only know of their names and color of their fur. She will have to wait for a chance to see them during the gatherings. She will long for them." I can't do that to her. With everything I know from Splashdance, how could I take that away from her? All those happy moments...

Whatever fierceness he had, ebbs away from the thought. Her situation is unknown to him. To think, they both committed the same crime. The only difference was that she was a higher rank than him. The consequences would be severe. Much more severe than he had experienced. Perhaps, it was for the best he didn't know. Not because he would sneer at her kits. No, he could never. Nor would he judge her. It was for the best simply because the following words would never be spoken. "You are a parent too, Iciclefang. How would you feel if your kits lived in another clan? They will become fierce warriors without knowing who you are, and there will come a day when they draw blood from Riverclan? What if that blood is your own? Would you feel ashamed to have given birth to fierce warriors from an enemy clan?"​