may you build a ladder to the stars || gillpaw

Sep 11, 2022
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From lying restless in a dark nest, to relearning how to walk, to building strength back into these tired legs—the head-rattling injury that the hound gave him seems to have finally let him go, and the very first thing on Clearsight's mind is Gillpaw.

His Gillpaw. His little apprentice, his charge, the sweetest and hardest-working kid Clearsight has ever met—

(The child he left without a mentor; the child he failed by letting his guard down, getting hurt like that.)

He'd been relieved to find out that Cicadastar had given the kid a temporary mentor. He had. The loss stung, yes—knowing all that he must be missing—but he was glad that Gillpaw wouldn't be totally stranded for the weeks (that turned to months) of his recovery.

And even then, Gillpaw still visited him, day after day—even when Clearsight could barely see for the pain in his head, and could hardly provide good company, Gillpaw came. A routine steady as the sunrise, when the day's training had finished. Clearsight would talk as much as he was able, and he'd listen, purr rumbling in his chest, to everything Gillpaw had to say—of his training, his friends, all that he got up to.

And now, healed again at last, Clearsight can finally step back into this role.

He'll seek out the little apprentice just after dawn, the very first day after he's cleared—and upon spotting the kid, call out his name.

"Gillpaw," he says, voice cutting through the morning fog, flaxen-gold gaze fixed fondly on the little black-and-white tom. He pads closer, and warmth fills his voice as he continues, "Ready for some training?"

He'll bend down and aim to touch his nose to Gillpaw's—both an affectionate greeting, and a callback to their first first day as mentor and apprentice.

"I've missed you, kiddo," he says.



& we've all got battle scars ✗

@GILLPAW
 

From the moment he was able to eat prey, Gillpaw had been left on his own. His mother left him to his own devices in the day, with only the feeling of her fur beside him at night letting her presence be known to the kit. When RiverClan arrived, when Cicadastar locked down the borders, she disappeared, leaving Gill to become Gillpaw.

So, he should've been used to it, being on his own, no one watching over him. Should've expected to be on his own again - Clearsight was bound to stop being his mentor at some point, right?

That point just came early, was all.

An attack, a crimson night. Blues stained with blood. Clearsight left to heal in the medicine den. Gillpaw left to train under a temporary mentor.

Clearsight was bound to move on, to forget about him, Gillpaw realized, one sleepless night after the attack. The apprentice just couldn't have that. He couldn't have Clearsight forget about him too. Couldn't just leave him on his own wondering what he'd done wrong.

So, he put in the effort. Showed up every day to keep Clearsight company, tell him about his day, about what he's learning, about the shift in seasons - how much RiverClan had been changing as the air began to chill him. Gillpaw filled him in on everything he's missing, so, when the day finally came for Clearsight to step out of the medicine den, he wouldn't be completely out of the loop.

It became the highlight of his day, a moment he couldn't wait for - as he spent his meal times creating lists of what had happened each and every day.

Clearsight needed this as much as he did, Gillpaw would eventually realize. He needed the company to help him heal.

He awakes early as the sun just barely begins to rise, frost still settled in on the camp. The apprentice stretches, takes a deep breath. Gillpaw was meant to train today, and so early in the morning, too. Though he dreaded dealing with his temporary mentor for much longer - feared that temporary was becoming more and more permanent - he pressed on, stepping out of the apprentice den to begin his day.

What's before him is unexpected - a voice calling for him. One that doesn't belong to his current mentor, but rather, his former. Clearsight.

"Ready for some training?"

He hardly hears the words over his excitement. Today was the day! Finally! Clearsight could be his mentor again!

"R-Really?" Gillpaw bounds over to greet his mentor, sunny eyes wide with disbelief. He must be dreaming! "W-We... We can t-train again?" He can hardly believe it. His mentor is healed. His mentor has returned to train him.

"I-I missed you too!"
 


➵ A purr rumbles deep in his chest. Stars, it's good to see Gill this excited.

"Really," he says firmly, golden eyes soft. With greetings exchanged, he'll turn in the direction of the camp exit, gesturing with his tail for Gillpaw to follow. He's sure the kid is just as eager to get started as he is.

"How does a fishing trip sound, to start? You can show me all you've learned with your temporary mentor."

He feels a pang of loss just saying the words. The long recovery was only made to feel longer, knowing Gillpaw was training with someone else, and it aches knowing all he might have missed. Still, he knows the best place to start is to get a sense for Gillpaw's skill level.

He's heard stories aplenty of what the boy's gotten up to, but seeing for himself will be the best gauge for how to pick training back up. And fishing being one of Clearsight's foremost skills, it's definitely the best way for him to get back into the routine of mentorship.

"Why don't you take me to your favorite spot? Wherever you're most confident."

It's a stark difference from how they trained before, Clearsight generally taking the lead. Gillpaw was still so little and so new, after all, and could hardly have made a decision like this one. But he's getting older every day, and this is its own kind of gauge, as well: will he be comfortable taking the lead? Does he know the river well enough yet to choose a spot at all? Will he bloom or shrink beneath the pressure of a "test"?


& we've all got battle scars ✗
 

Really, Clearsight tells him. Gillpaw still can't believe it; surely he was bound to wake up any moment now? It's been so long!

"R-Really, really?" he asks once more, double checks that the stars aren't playing tricks on him. But no, the scene doesn't fade away; doesn't turn into the walls of the apprentice den, the comfort of his nest. This was really real.

His mentor suggests a fishing trip. The black and white apprentice is practically bouncing in excitement. Yes! A chance to show him all he's learned! Gillpaw's gonna make Clearsight proud, with all he's learned! He hopes, anyway. Part of him wishes that Clearsight had been there to teach him instead, had been there to see his all successes - and failures - in training. But, Gillpaw knows there's no changing what happened.

His excitement falters a little when the blue warrior suggests that Gillpaw chooses the location of their fishing trip. His favorite spot. Where could that be? Such a difficult choice the apprentice has to make! What if he chooses wrong?

Oh! He knows! He sees it clearly in his mind - a bend in the river, where it begins to go shallow. It's where he called home as a kit, where he'd spend the day collecting rocks while his mother was away. That was his favorite spot. He hopes there will be plenty of fish over there, that he'll be able to make Clearsight proud.

"Okay!" Gillpaw finally says, before bounding past his mentor. He turns around to look at him, beckoning him to follow with a flick of his tail, "F-Follow me!"