MAYBE WE’RE MEANT TO BE ALONE — goodbyes

[LITTLE WOLF]

She waits until after the leaders have all spoken their pieces, waits until they all climb down from the great rock and head home with their clans in tow, all except for one. Her eyes don’t leave his cream colored pelt for a second, afraid that if she looks away he will disappear forever. She loves him so terribly much and this feeling in her chest, it feels as if her heart is being twisted, wrung out and left to dry.

For a moment she thinks maybe she can do it, leave Thunder Clan behind and join him in Sky Clan. She would take her remaining kits and they would be happy. But no. Her mind flashes to her mother, to her brothers and sisters. They needed her, and she needed them. She could not leave her family and she doubted she could convince them to move to a place that they often said was ‘infested by kittypets’ and she knows already that Blazestar will not abandon his clan. She would never even think to ask.

If things had only been different… She wants to scream to the heavens about the unfairness of it all but knows it is no use. If Star Clan cared about such a thing as fair they would not have taken her daughter from her. She finds her remaining children in the crowd. "Come on my loves, it is time to say goodbye" she says to them softly, gently herding them to a empty corner of the clearing where her little family can have some privacy.

// @BLAZESTAR @
@Howlpaw @CRESCENTPAW @BURNPAW ! @Fireflypaw @HOWLING WIND
​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

The law, carved in the stars before all their eyes tonight, burns brightly in her mind. The air is solemn as the clans disperse, and Howling Wind immediately searches for Little Wolf. The black pelt of her daughter is difficult to find at first, but she finally catches sight of it in the moonlight. She knows how heartbroken she must be upon hearing the news...a Warrior Code, for all of them to follow. The first law? She must not love a cat from another clan. It's like the law was made specifically for her, and the mother's heart breaks.

She moves to her side, weaving through the cats that gather to go home. Pressing against her side, a realization comes to her mind. What about her kits? Where will they go, now that the law states they must be loyal to only one clan? "Your children will have to choose," She murmurs softly, a sadness in her voice. Will they choose to be loyal to the clan they nursed in? Or the clan their father leads?​

 

[Howlfire]

It was Howlpaw's first gathering - something that should have been a time of excitement for the young she-cat. A time to mingle with apprentices from all clans, not just their neighbours, to see the leaders speak, to hear what news - good and bad - came from the other clans. Alas, a time that should have been exciting is instead marred with tragedy. Morningpaw died the day before and now lies buried in the ground. How cruel the world could be that mere days ago Morningpaw walked amongst them still, vibrant, and full of life. And now she was gone.

Howlpaw didn't really pay much attention to the gathering, the announcements and the bickering between the leaders falling on deaf ears. It is only when Blazestar and Emberstar speak that she listens - if only because they mention Morningpaw. And from their announcements, a new law had been established a Warrior Code. And that first law? That you could have friends in other clans but loyalty must always be to your clan.That you must not love another from a different clan.

Well, that was all well and good but what about their family? Howlpaw and her siblings were cats with paws in two worlds, that of ThunderClan and SkyClan. What were they supposed to do now? Their mother calls them over and says it is time to say goodbye. "Goodbye?" Howlpaw echoes, blinking in confusion. Amber eyes flicker between her parents, littermates, and grandmother waiting in the background. She feels her heart begin to shatter when Howling Wind quietly mutters they will have to choose. Choose...as if that would be easy to do. "You expect us to choose?" Howlpaw asks, looking at her grandmother with a hurt expression. She's not hurt or upset with her grandmother but rather about this whole situation and how unfair it was for them as a family. "ThunderClan and SkyClan are equal parts our home," She mutters sadly.

The decision is not an easy one. ThunderClan seems like the logical choice. It is where she was largely raised, where most of her family is, and where she spends most of her time. She's been to SkyClan plenty of times but hasn't ever stayed there for too long. Although it is her home too it often feels as foreign to her as ShadowClan or RiverClan might. She convinces herself she will stay in ThunderClan and is all but prepared to announce this when she falters. Amber eyes land on her father and she pauses. The Blazestar she sees now is not the Blazestar she knows and love. Morningpaw's loss is recent and it isn't expected that he would suddenly be alright after a day, but it's striking how worn down he is. As though the weight of the clan on his shoulders has suddenly crashed down upon him. Howlpaw thinks of Blazestar's den, how large and empty it was, how she only recently joked about them all sharing it with him. She thinks of her father all alone in there with nothing but his grief and his memories and her heart breaks. She doesn't want him to be alone and without his family. "I want to stay with dad," She blurts out suddenly. Howlpaw takes a steadying breath and then nods as if reassuring herself she was making the right decision before she continued. "I want to go to SkyClan."​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

( * ˚ ✦ ) He sees her in the thinning crowd, and it's as if she knows he was waiting for her. Of course she does, he thinks, leaping to the earth, the grass crumpling under his paws. She's here to say goodbye to me. She and Howling Wind. His dark gaze finds his four remaining kits, and he realizes for the first time that he's truly about to lose all of them. They were born to a ThunderClan mother, apprenticed to ThunderClan warriors --

There will be no more visits to SkyClan, he realizes with a start. No more late nights where a sleepless Fireflypaw or a curious Howlpaw wander into his den. No more of Crescentpaw ruling over the younger kits, no more Morningpaw getting stuck in thorns with Mushroomkit, no more Burnpaw begrudgingly joining his siblings' antics.

"StarClan, how am I meant to bear this," he whispers aloud, his gaze meeting Little Wolf's. He approaches her on hesitant, slow paws before gently caressing her face with his. He takes a second to drink in her scent, flavored with the forest's undergrowth, shadowy and soft. Will this be the last time he can?

He looks up at Howling Wind with some alarm as she says, a note of sadness in her voice, that Little Wolf's kits must choose. Blazestar has anticipated losing them all, and he does not want to take more away from his mate -- he begins to say so, but he's interrupted by Howlpaw.

His daughter murmurs, "ThunderClan and SkyClan have equally been our homes." Blazestar's pelt prickles with guilt. How could he and Little Wolf forseen any of this? And yet, he feels he should have. He is SkyClan's leader. He should have known his kits may end up torn between two worlds someday.

He prepares himself to say goodbye to each and every one of his living kits, when he still has not finished saying goodbye to their sister -- and Howlpaw says she wants to go with him. She wants to become a SkyClanner. His eyes glisten in the starlight with fresh tears. "Howlpaw..." Oh, he hadn't expected this, not his youngest daughter, named after her grandmother -- he hadn't expected this at all. "Are you sure? I don't want you to make a decision you regret..." But, selfishly, there's want in his voice. The desire to have his child nearby, where he can watch her grow up, receive a warrior name under his rule, where he can touch her and see her -- StarClan, it's selfish, he knows it is, but he wants her to join SkyClan so bad.​

( AND EVERY TIME IT RAINS , ALL THE ANGELS CRY FOR ME )

 

[CRESCENTPAW]

the gathering went as horrible as you'd expect, it was only mere seconds after everyone had flooded the clearing that bickering begun. crescentpaw usually would have said something snide under her breath about how filthy and barbaric their neighbors were but no, there wasn't a single peep that came out from the tortie point. she had stayed silent as she stuck close to her mother and siblings, under eyes ringed red from just how much she had been sobbing over morningpaw but now she had nothing else to give.

when things quieted down for the leaders to give their piece, crescentpaw had ended up tuning them out completely. there was no reaction to anything shared, she just sat there curled slightly inward with her head hanging low between shoulders. being here didn't feel right, without morningpaw occupying the space besides her it felt like she was missing a chunk of herself.

with the gathering coming to an end, mother has rounded the lot of them up to a much more private place where they are soon faced to make a difficult decision. skyclan or thunderclan. howlpaw is quick to voice her uncertainty, amber meets blue for a brief second as they get looked over and after a tense few seconds her sister blurts out her choice that she'd wish to stay in skyclan. something bitter churns inside of crescentpaw's stomach at this, sure they all shared a paw in both clans but if it weren't for a selfish skyclan cat morningpaw would've still been here! it was there fault wasn't it?

her jaw would tense faintly before the tri-colored molly found herself standing between howling wind and little wolf, her expression had shifted to something unreadable.

"thunderclan."
​

[ penned by cobi ]​

 

[Fireflyglow]

WE'VE BEEN DOIN' ALL THIS LATE NIGHT TALKIN' ✧​

Fireflypaw felt numb to the bone as the cats of each clan parted ways, dirty glares and whispers of gossip on their lips. He's cursed with good hearing, he realizes- hears the words they spout about his father and the situation ThunderClan and SkyClan had put themselves in. All because of fresh-kill, all because they were driven insane by hunger. Driven to do things they would have never done on a full stomach. Children fought, barely made apprentices- Fireflypaw fought his friend, leaped onto him to protect Thistleback. No blood was drawn in his and Jaypaw's bout, but the pain was there nonetheless.

His eyes water as he listens to his mother tell them they needed to say their goodbyes, but his grandmother gives them a choice: SkyClan, or ThunderClan. The Clan he was born in and knew best, or the Clan where most of his friends were. Would Rowanbelly be upset if he chose otherwise? He wondered.. Darkened lips remained shut, deep in thought as baby sister's state where they wanted to go. The stocky apprentice shuffles his paws uncomfortably, half-blind eyes shifting amongst the grass below his feet. One, two, three, four- Only four heads. Four paw taps.

You are no saint, little bug.

The seal point finds his eyes dragging up to his mother, to his grandmother- two of the most important women in his life. Strong women who made him understand just how much mollies meant to the world around them. The things they gave up to be so strong. He wondered how much Howling Wind had to lose to become who she was today. How much Little Wolf is giving up now to stay loyal to her Clan. Why must he hurt the ones he loved, making a decision like this? Fireflypaw takes a step towards his mother, hurt evident in his sensitive little eyes. His head presses into her chest instinctively, seeking out comfort. He exhales a shaky breath. "Don't be mad at me, mama. Grandmama." He mutters just loud enough for them to hear, voice breaking- would they hate him for making this decision? Once he pulls away, he looks down at his paws once again, ears drawn back against his cranium.

"SkyClan.. I want to be with dad. I can't leave behind Mushroomkit, and Greenpaw, a-and Butterflypaw.. I can't.." His voice breaks, tearfully walking over to Howlpaw to push against her side in comfort. It was always him needing comfort these days, wasn't it? But he was getting better at handling this grief, it would take time. I'm not okay, but I will be soon. I just need to heal. He recalls his conversation with Greenpaw, bittersweet in its memories. "I'm sorry, Cres.." He hiccups softly to himself, too afraid to look at his sister. He didn't want to be on the opposite side of any of his siblings, but Crescentpaw had lost her twin- he couldn't imagine how that felt. It felt like I lost a fifth of my own self when Morningpaw died. I can only imagine how Crescentpaw felt.

Going quiet, Fireflypaw couldn't find it in himself to talk anymore- tears beading at the corners of his eyes and falling like rain. Was it always going to be like this?​