- Dec 27, 2022
- 123
- 39
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SOMETIMES I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
SOMETIMES I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
It starts with a fogging of the mind.
Not unusual, for Lichenpaw. His thoughts are often hidden behind a cloudy film; he hasn't slept well for as long as he can remember. Maybe that's part of why it happened. Too many sleepless nights made him weak. Too many worried thoughts made him careless. Too many days in the medicine den made him very lucky, that it hadn't happened sooner.
His mind is wandering. Focus. The fog. Not the most dire of conditions, not the most telling. They wouldn't have thought much of it - didn't think much of it, and not just because they weren't in a state to think much of anything. It's just that there were more concerning matters. A little lack of focus is nothing when cats are dying around you, when you have patients to take care of. It was surely just a product of the stress, the lack of sleep.
He shouldn't have ignored it. He squeezes his eyes shut, tries to calm the roaring in his ears.
He feels shaky. He always feels shaky.
Steady. He doesn't think anyone's noticed yet, and he can't decide whether that's a good thing. He should say something, he knows. Tell Berryheart. Lichenpaw evens their strained breathing as much as they can. Pauses -- why are they in camp? Must have wandered out here, lost in thought. He should know better. He should know better. He can't be out here.
Lichenpaw's ears lay flat. The clan is dying around him. There's no way he can stop it, not without the lungwort. The healthy are all out on their death-march, searching for feverish delusions of salvation -- "I, um, I need --" Lichenpaw isn't sure who he's speaking to. He glances to a cat nearby. "Where's Berryheart?" The words are harsher than intended, almost accusatory. He reigns it in with a smile. "I - I need to, um. He should -- he needs to know --" Babbling. Focus.
Lichenpaw swallows, roughly, around the scratching in his throat. His breath rattles from his chest like a death knell."I think -- um. I'm -- I'm sick. Yellowcough." He spits the name like the curse it is. "I have yellowcough, it's -- I don't know how long I -- Where's Berryheart?" Wide, feverish eyes dart around camp. Was Berryheart in the medicine den when he left?
He can't remember...
It's all so foggy.
Not unusual, for Lichenpaw. His thoughts are often hidden behind a cloudy film; he hasn't slept well for as long as he can remember. Maybe that's part of why it happened. Too many sleepless nights made him weak. Too many worried thoughts made him careless. Too many days in the medicine den made him very lucky, that it hadn't happened sooner.
His mind is wandering. Focus. The fog. Not the most dire of conditions, not the most telling. They wouldn't have thought much of it - didn't think much of it, and not just because they weren't in a state to think much of anything. It's just that there were more concerning matters. A little lack of focus is nothing when cats are dying around you, when you have patients to take care of. It was surely just a product of the stress, the lack of sleep.
He shouldn't have ignored it. He squeezes his eyes shut, tries to calm the roaring in his ears.
He feels shaky. He always feels shaky.
Steady. He doesn't think anyone's noticed yet, and he can't decide whether that's a good thing. He should say something, he knows. Tell Berryheart. Lichenpaw evens their strained breathing as much as they can. Pauses -- why are they in camp? Must have wandered out here, lost in thought. He should know better. He should know better. He can't be out here.
Lichenpaw's ears lay flat. The clan is dying around him. There's no way he can stop it, not without the lungwort. The healthy are all out on their death-march, searching for feverish delusions of salvation -- "I, um, I need --" Lichenpaw isn't sure who he's speaking to. He glances to a cat nearby. "Where's Berryheart?" The words are harsher than intended, almost accusatory. He reigns it in with a smile. "I - I need to, um. He should -- he needs to know --" Babbling. Focus.
Lichenpaw swallows, roughly, around the scratching in his throat. His breath rattles from his chest like a death knell."I think -- um. I'm -- I'm sick. Yellowcough." He spits the name like the curse it is. "I have yellowcough, it's -- I don't know how long I -- Where's Berryheart?" Wide, feverish eyes dart around camp. Was Berryheart in the medicine den when he left?
He can't remember...
It's all so foggy.
I'M MOVING PAST THE FEELING !
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LICHENPAW named for the lichen on the trees of his home.
— he/him or they/them. 13 moons.
— thunderclan medicine cat apprentice, mentored by berryheart.
— bears a near-permanent nervous grin.
primary character, high activity. penned by saturnid. -
"SPEECH"
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