private MILES AWAY, ADRIFT [ferngill]

[iciclefang]

The search patrols are preparing to leave; they eat what little the hunting parties have been able to bring back, but every mouthful is hard to swallow; every breath is strained with anxiety. It is difficult to know that there is a chance they will not find their missing Clanmates at all — and if they do, there is no guarantee they will still be breathing. Iciclefang abandons her post, her gaze fixed on her brother; when she approaches him, she does so on his seeing side, and brushes her marbled flank against his with quiet cameraderie.

"Eaglepaw is missing," she murmurs. "If something happens to him, I..." How could she ever look Lilybloom in the face again? Yes, Eaglepaw has his mentor, has Lakemoon, but her sister had trusted her to suckle those kits, to guard them, to rear them into strong and loyal RiverClan warriors.

Her voice fails. She licks her lips, trying hard to steady her tone. "And Apricotflower. She saved me. The current almost swept me away when I went after a drypaw. She blocked the way. But the force was too much, and she was..." Her eyes fill with pain. She shakes her head, rife with frustration. "I saw her eyes, when she was going under. She was so scared, Ferngill, and there was nothing I could do."

She has never shared her fears so openly, not with Stormywing, not with her father, not with Ferngill — but for the first time in many moons, Iciclefang's confidence is shaken. "If she doesn't make it, it will be my fault." It's stated matter-of-factly. It will be.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — "speech", thoughts, attack
  — 28 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.

​

 

[FERNGILL]

Not many times had his sister sought comfort from him so openly. He remembered when they were younger, when he was a 'paw and she was a prodigy warrior ... when they'd spoken about Ashpaw, and everything he'd said had seemed to land on deaf ears. Since then, an unshakeable closeness had drawn between them, one that had lived past arguments and disagreements, between a battle of over and in-sensitivity.

He smiled at her, a shaky, nervous thing- looked at her with a single bright eye, gratefulness in how she knew him well enough always to brush on that side.

"We'll find him," he said, and they would both know it was something he couldn't possibly be sure about, but ... Ferngill too could not bear to think of a world where something awful had happened. The reluctance on his face would be plain to see. "Nothing ... nothing else can happen to our kin, I can't bear it." A vow to do whatever he could, to expend every ounce of energy in preserving what they had.

He fell silent as Iciclefang began to speak of Apricotflower. She couldn't speak of Apricotflower's ultimate fate in the violent throes of the river, but Ferngill could well imagine it- her eyes, she said, and his blood fell frigid. Green eyes swam with pathos, and he felt in that moment as if the molly's terrified eyes had flashed right in front of him, and he had stared down into that ravine.

A deep sighpuled through him. "Oh, Iciclefang ..." he murmured. Gently, he leaned his head against her neck, what he hoped would be a comforting touch. "It won't be your fault." He knew well what she feared, and he worried the same- it was clear in the way she'd trailed off that part of her believed Apricotflower couldn't have survived. "It won't be, alright? She saved you, she- she did a good thing. And you were doing a good thing too, helping a drypaw. I hope we'll see her again, so she can tell you that you didn't do anything wrong." ​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[iciclefang]

Ferngill is shaky with all he feels — though she does her best to remain stoic, they are one and the same in that regard. "We'll find him," he tells her, and Iciclefang nods. "Nothing else can happen to our kin. I can't bear it." "Lakemoon should see her kits become warriors," she murmurs in low agreement. "None of them are weak swimmers, thank the stars, but neither am I, and the flood nearly had me, too..." She imagines her nephew sinking, his tabby pelt waterlogged, his eyes wide and glimmering with terror, like —

Apricotflower.

Iciclefang turns her face to her brother's; her eyes are swollen like the river that threatens to consume their home. "It won't be your fault," he says, but she shakes her head. Stubborn. "It will be. It's my job to protect her. That was Smokestar's expectation. Lichenstar's, too. If she dies because of me..." Her mew is flat, bitter: "Then I failed my Clan."

She does not deny the rest of his statement. Apricotflower had done a good thing, whether she'd meant to or not. She'd potentially sacrificed her own place in RiverClan for a cat not her kin. She had potentially given up her own ability to play with her grandchildren, to watch Robinheart come into her own, and...

Iciclefang thinks of Scorchpaw, now storm, leading the hound's snapping teeth away from her body. She thinks of Smogstar leading them blindly through the dark. Thinks of Stormywing's tabby pelt laying softly against her tortoiseshell.

That was different. Apricotflower depended on me. They all do, or why am I here?

"I don't want my kits to watch me fail my Clan," she mutters.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — "speech", thoughts, attack
  — 28 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.

​