moral of the story — fireflypaw

[YUKIO]

don't rush something you want to last forever .​

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶​

Yukio's head lulled to the side, cheek pressed up against his paw, dual optics staring blankly at the bramble and moss meshed together. His stomach gurgled, but the cream-ticked feline didn’t have the heart or energy to face the world, instead choosing to ignore his hunger pains in favor of staying inside the nursery where his life had come undone.

His heart hurt, weighing heavy in his chest until he couldn’t bear to walk more than a step outside of his nest, nose burrowed, smelling the staleness of honey and milk, reminding him of better times when he had just given birth. But those memories left him feeling unbearably raw, tears prickling the edge of his vision when he came too, realizing they truly were memories.

Then the cycle would repeat, reminiscing only to be brought back. He knew it wasn’t a healthy way to cope, but what else could he do? He didn’t want to forget them, even if his heart bled, ripped in two for the world to see. He needed to remember them, from the tiniest of details, burn them into his mind until sometimes he felt them brush against his flank, feeling real.

The rustle of bramble brought him out of his musings, blinking back the tears to peer up at Firefly. Oh. Yukio curled tighter into himself, tail tucked close to his body, looking feeble as he struggled to find his voice, maw opening, and closing until he settled on a quiet hello.

@Fireflypaw ​

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thought speech​

 

[Fireflyglow]

Fireflypaw had never witnessed kits as young as Yukio's dying. He's never had to bury babies who hadn't even opened their eyes yet. But the very thought of having to bury them with lavender sends an ache through his body that he can't explain. He figures it's best to pay respects to their father, the one who gave birth to them; but he doesn't know what to say. I'm sorry for your loss would be good enough. He tries to convince himself, but when he finally makes it to the nursery, ghostly blue eyes staring into the back of the den sightlessly, he finds that he can't just say that.

Yukio greets him in a soft voice, though Fireflypaw doesn't say anything in return. He steps around tails, massive body curling around Yukio before resting right behind him. "When we.. Lost Morningpaw, it destroyed us. I can't imagine how you feel, Yu.." Fireflypaw whispers softly, feeling his throat growing tight. Tears threaten to fall once again. "I'm sorry." Is all he can say. Really, what else could one say other than that? Yukio deserved to mourn his kits in peace.

The nursery grows quiet then, and Fireflypaw basks in the silence. He cannot see Yukio's expression, but he hopes cuddling with him helps just a bit. "I'm here for you." He mutters, laying his head on the smaller male's shoulder to comfort him. ​

SKYCLAN MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE ✦ 11 MOONS ✦ CHUNKY, BIG-FOOTED SEAL POINT ✦ TAGS​

 

[YUKIO]

don't rush something you want to last forever .​

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶​

Yukio blinked, humming softly as he shuffled further into the warm embrace, relishing in the comforting heaviness that settled deep within his bones. It felt nice ( comforting even ) when his heart felt heavy with sadness, bare for all the world to see. Tears prickled the corner of his eyes, sucking in a shaky breath until the burn behind his eyes faded to a dull thrum.

His ears swerved, listening, crooning. Does it ever go away? He thought mutely, helm shifting to rest in the divot between his paws, pressing further into himself with a shake of his shoulders. Please. Please. Please don’t cry. He begged, feeling his body sag in defeat, teardrops bubbling until they saturated his cheeks, darkening the cream hue. He was so tired of crying, but he couldn’t just … stop.

The cream-ticked feline shifted, peering up at the nursery with dull optics. “D, Does it e, ever go away?” He mumbled after some contemplation, shattering the serenity that was built, taking refuge in the welcoming heat Firefly provided. “I, It hurts,” He whispered. “I, I want it gone.” He wanted it gone! He didn’t like these feelings. Not when it hurt this much. How had—? How are you so much stronger? He wanted to ask, but refrained, offering a simple hum, turning to nuzzle beneath his own paw, his flank rising and falling with a shaky breath, pulling in the rotten scent of grief.

His helm pivoted to peer at Firefly, offering the briefest of smiles in silent thanks, not willing to use his voice again, threatening to spill from the seams. Dual-toned optics veered off, peering at the other nests, heart squeezing at the sight. ​

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thought speech​