- May 14, 2023
- 38
- 5
- 8
Time was so... fickle. It felt like only yesterday the young girl had been ushered into clan life. Her days beyond ShadowClan were a blur, a fever of fear and doubt. At the forefront of her new life, there was Chilledstar. As far as Emberpaw was concerned, there had always been Chilledstar. They were the closest she'd ever had to a parental figure, their family had become hers, even if that had taken time. They were her leader, her protector, her supporter in a clan that was not always at peace with one another. But sometimes, in the dead of night she woke up with a scream in her throat. Tormented by the thought that there wouldn't always be Chilledstar. Her childhood was filled with chaos, instability, and spilled crimson. Chilledstar had died right in front of her. Another warrior had had to rip her from their body, and in that moment the young tabby had never known such anguish. Like nettles had been injected into her heart, thorns had pumped through her veins. The sun and moon had fallen out of the sky to sink into her shoulders, weighing her down until she went limp in her clanmate's jaws. In that moment nothing could have been more wrong.
And then they'd come back. Weak and in pain, Chilledstar had risen again. Emberpaw couldn't understand it. For awhile she'd found she didn't need to. Chilledstar was safe, they were alive. She wasn't alone. She'd gone on telling herself their wounds hadn't been that bad. Apparently the ground could soak with much more blood than she'd realized before a cat truly died. She was so, lucky, that they'd lived. But as she grew older and became more familiar with clan life, the truth was revealed to her. Chilledstar had died, that day. They'd died after that, too. Because they were leader, and because of StarClan's graces, Chilledstar had lives to spare. They could be killed in battle only to be resurrected by the light of the stars. What a gift that was. The most precious gift of all. And for awhile, Emberpaw had slept soundly.
Thrashing in a nest quickly growing too small for her, Emberpaw was ripped from sleep. Lingering remnants of copper burned the back of throat and she sat up with a gasp, her chest fluttering. Pooled blood. Torn fur. Pale eyes, clear as the brightest sun-soaked day, fading and fading. Emberpaw was overwhelmed, the images pelting her mind. Outside, I want- I want outside. She stumbled, yanking her tangled paws out of her ruined bed and scrambling out of the apprentice den. She was hit with a blast of cool, musty air. The smell of ShadowClan's spring. The young tabby breathed in, breathed out. She missed the way the air used to fog around her face in the dead of winter. She pressed a trembling paw against her eyes, and small white sparks danced across the body in her mind's eye. It's not real... It's not real, StarClan wouldn't let it be real. She dropped her paw, shaking her head as if that could cause the boiling behind her eyes to cease. Go back to bed. I need to be on patrol tomorrow.
Her paws had other ideas. Slowly, with far more pacing than necessary, Emberpaw made her way across camp. She crept to the dark mouth of a den. Chilledstar's scent wafted out. The sharp scent of pine and fresh sap was untainted by the sweetness of death. They're fine. This is stupid. But Emmberpaw entered anyways. Her pawsteps felt uncomfortably loud. She neared Chilledstar's crouched form, indeed alive and well. They're fine. But what would happen if one day they weren't?
"Ch-Chilledstar?" she meowed softly. She brushed their flank, taking comfort in the fact that they were solid. They were right here. "Chilledstar? Can... Can I talk to you?"
// @CHILLEDSTAR. <333
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