pafp MORTAL RECOIL \ the sneeze

[MALLOWLARK]

Pollen flitted through the air- he was sure he could feel it, that shift into new-leaf. The buds on the trees, blooming into a new beginning- it was beautiful, that rebirth of the world! Striving- breaking free of the claws of death, verdant flares upon skeletal trees that had grown weak and spindled from the snow-bolstered winds. He was surprised every year that the trees did not die- everything on the moorland seemed to rot, but the seasons kept moving... they'd be here after they had all decomposed, too...

Lost in thought, the alabaster tom was rather unaware of who was around him when a pollen-fleck apparently decided it was going to dance up his nose. Pollen, dust a bug... it could have been anything, but the cause was not as important as the effect.

Unsurprisingly, Mallowlark sneezed loud- and it sounded almost like a burst of laughter in its suddenness, flung from his lungs. The residue sprayed at an unsuspecting victim- and oh, what a victim! Wide eyes soon fell upon Bluepool, his perpetual and unsettling look of humour alighting his expression despite the terrible act he had just committed. Contagion... oh, he hoped it wasn't...

\ please wait for @Bluepool B)​

☺PENNED BY PIN​

 

[Bluepool]

Bluepool is less than thrilled to be on this patrol with this cat in particular. It’s no secret she is wary of Mallowlark and his strange ways, even less of a secret that she does everything in her power to avoid him whenever possible. His wide grin, his uncontrollable laughter, he had to be diseased with something. There was no way he wasn’t. But what disease could possibly cause something like this to happen? She doesn’t know nor does she care to find out and so she keeps her distance.

Badgermoon must think himself real funny for putting them on the same patrol together. Perhaps he thinks it’ll be entertaining but Bluepool is less than thrilled.

They are nearing the sun warmed pool. The end of their patrol thank the stars. She feels herself picking up the pace, eager to get back to the camp and away from the snowy warrior. That’s when it happens. In her desperation to get back to camp she comes up right next to him so when he sneezes she gets covered in the spray. She stops in her tracks, face mortified. "D-did you just sneeze on me?" she asks, incredulous. There is a shocked moment on silence and then Bluepool is on the move.

She hurls herself into the shallow waters of the Sun Warmed Pool, rolling over and over desperately trying to rid herself of whatever was left on her pelt from the sneeze so as not to catch whatever he had.

​

 

[Badgermoon]

Badgermoon, in fact, had thought nothing of putting Bluepool and Mallowlark in the same patrol, as he himself was part of it - he knew that Mallowlark was creepy and that it was understandable for Sootstar's sister to be discomfited by the wide-grinning warrior, but he figured that his presence would be enough to alleviate any tensions. Self-important of him and painfully presumptive? Yes, of course, but he didn't realize that. He considered himself an ameliorating influence in most circumstances, especially because Bluepool was a friend of his (in his mind). Therefore, he had strolled alongside his Clanmates with nary a worry for anyone's feelings, presuming all was well: that is, until, a sneeze like an electric shock tore through the newleaf air. The deputy's head twisted in surprise as the short-tailed she-cat suddenly launched herself into the Sun-Warmed Pool, and he shot a look of bemusement at Mallowlark. "You sick?" he inquired of the black-pawed tom. Was there a case of newleaf sniffles going around he hadn't known about? Taking a few careful steps toward the pool, he inquired, "Bluepool, you alright?"​

 

[LAMBCURL.]

Oh, the day is particularly quiet. Well-needed rest and relaxation, between everything. Lambcurl takes his time in the tunnels, today. With the onset of Newleaf, he may now afford such a thing– That was not to say his job was any less important. No, the worms never ceased their eating, the moles never ceased their burrowing. Newleaf was the time to start families anew, and a number of them thrived beneath the soil, as well.

The ones above always made theirselves known, though. They were not subtle in their trampling... Running, laughing, sneezing– well, the thought becomes so prominent it startles Lambcurl out of his thinking.

But its more than a thought, he realizes. Ringing loud and very real. Oh, does one of his clan suffer an affliction? To see... to check, his pace goes from nothing to all in a matter of moments; feather-light steps along the earth's very lungs. There is an unsaid sense of urgency; you can feel the walls trembling where he walks– and he certainly hopes that his partner did too. Oh, for all his panic, he had forgotten to utter a word. But the importance was unprecedented. The time: now.

His head breaches the surface; tiny white thing peeking from the earth. "Bless you."​

 

[Firefang]

Warmth had finally begun to bluster its way down upon the moorlands, life was once again returning. Both to the expanse of green hills and to the clan that ran atop it, there were so many kits about to become apprentices to replace the spots she and her peers once held and the warriors themselves despite everything seemed more lively to her. She listens to the sway of the grasses and the distant melody of bird song, she basks in the spring warmth zoning out as she pads to the flank of the patrol. That is until a loud caterwaul of a sneeze makes her jump, fur prickles along her spine before laying flat when her consciousness fully returns to her.

It was just Mallowlark. ❝Damn!❞ she exclaims ❝Loud ass sneeze❞ her head shakes, of course Mallowlark put his wierdo best into all he did. Though thankfully for her she was free of the splash zone, Bluepool however was not. If it’d been her she’d have slapped him for not having the common sense to aim away but could she really expect him of all cats to have any semblance of that. There was nothing common about him at all. Though her second reaction would’ve been exactly what the she-cat does running right into the sun-warmed pool to wash whatever contagion Mallowlark innately held many of off of her.

There’s something that’s just hilarious about the situation made worse when Badgermoon asks her if she was okay, as if her skin was falling off where the white menace sneezed. Her maw wobbles trying to bite back her laughter before it inevitable roars raucously out of her ❝Krahahahaha! Better hope that washes off, else nobody for a solid moon is gonna wanna share tongues with you❞ she laughs up until a new voice pops in a head and a surprised eep.

❝Augh! It’s the other one!❞ the other clan freak that was.​

( ✦ )

 

[VULTUREMASK]

Vulturemask never in his entier life of existence thought he ever would come across to feel this way even less admit it to himself. But he actually thought he was starting to like Mallowlark. The creep-smile tom was actually amusing to watch, and he always said the most disturbing things that almost left him smiling especially right now. Watching how he had sneezed like that on Bluepool and how she had responded to it. Aha, it was prizeless. Served that witch right. Perfect punishment for her daring to insult his den back then.

" Are you feeling sick Mallowlark?. You are not catching greencough again are you?...i only have one catmint left to cure that sickness with after all. It would be a such tragedy if i was forced to pick which one to save...." he lied of course, and he did so with no shame as he approached the others. He was hoping his comment would leave a shiver down Bluepool's spine fearing that out of the two of them he would save Mallowlark and not them.

The medicine cat turned his attention to the blue molly giving them a dark smirk. He wouldn't even feel any remorse for it.



​

 

[MALLOWLARK]

What he hadn't been expecting was a screech- an incredulous question, laced with horror. All he could do was look back at Bluepool blankly, his grin as comfortably empty as ever- though his fangs broke to let free raucous after as soon as she took flight away, almost tripping over her own paws as she set herself flying into the Sun-Warmed Pool. The plash of the water looked almost as if it might punch a hole in the clouds from how high it flung upward. "NYA-HAHAHA! KAH-HAH- why'd you... why'd you- HAH!" Pointing at her with an ink dipped paw, he flung his head back, eyes baring wide the sight of the bright sky.

Though the ache of his ribs and the shudder of his laughter did not subside, he could not ignore those who had flocked to check up on him... Badgermoon had always been a nice guy though, hadn't he? And Vulturemask- well, it was his job to care for the sick, even if he apparently had diminishing herbs... not enough catmint. Though, Mallowlark had another source, didn't he? "HAH- no, no, not- hah, not sick, that's... worse'n this... almost k-killed me," he attempted a breathless response through the shudder of his laughter, the tears in his eyes and the sharp pain in his stomach. And- there, snow-drop, was it a rabbit that poked its head from the earth?

No! Bleached skull of Lambcurl, offering a blessing which Mallowlark met with a bright, "Thanks!" Firfeang had greeted the tunneller too, in her own special way... and as she shouted toward Bluepool, Mallowlark let his wide ashen eyes fix back upon the silver tabby, still slightly convulsing from the aftershock of his hysterics. "Drowned yourself yet?" he asked, making no connection that she'd been bathing. Surely rolling in the dirt would have rubbed off whatever he'd sprayed her with just fine...​

☺PENNED BY PIN​