It occurs to Snakeblink when Pikesplash interjects into the conversation that perhaps ‘in front of the medicine den, damn well near to the center of camp’ might not have been the ideal setting for such a sensitive topic.
”No! No, I only meant that the two would be… well-matched. Since they are both…” prickly, taciturn, and serious, ”... Black? And of a similar disposition.”
He nods along as Pikesplash adds his own intelligence to the conversation — it’s nice to have some suspicions confirmed, and he did forget Petalnose’s big news. The tom’s question throws him for a loop: yes, paired-up; how could this statement be misconstructed? This time it truly eludes him. Thankfully, Stalkingpaw answers Pikesplash; unfortunately, it means yet another person has heard this little chat. He tilts his head towards the apprentice, silently acquiescing to her explanation.
”Cindershade can be intimidating, but I promise you she is very nice.” He pauses, thinking it over. ”Deep down. You don’t have to be scared of her.”
Though being scared of the dark-furred molly would at least urge the apprentice to caution, unlike him. And he has to agree with Pikesplash: he too would rather not be yelled at by Cindershade. Part of him wonders if she would mellow if she had a mate, but he’s not brave enough to speak that aloud. Speak the name of the bear and it might appear.
Besides, he’s distracted from the thought by Stalkingpaw’s next words: Is there anyone you like? He glances at the two other cats, fighting to keep his curiosity off his face lest he be too off-putting. It doesn’t occur to him to reply, as if the apprentice could not possibly have meant to include him in it. He likes everyone in the clan, but of course none in a romantic manner: he doesn’t have the time, and that’s for the best. He doesn’t think he could bear the ache of unrequited infatuation, not on top of everything else he has going on.
And then multiple cats butt in unexpectedly, many of them the subject of previous gossip, and Snakeblink’s shoulders progressively creep up higher and higher as he hunches on himself, ears pinned back in dismay.
To Fallinglight, more stung by the outright rejection of his idea than by the harshness of the young warrior’s words: ”No need to be rude: it was merely a hypothetical. Though if you know anything I don’t…”
And to Ravensong, who would have been none the wiser if not for the previous outburst and looks terribly miffed to be the subject of discussion: ”Apologies, Ravensong, I did not mean to pry.” He did. He did not mean to be heard, though. He doesn’t budge when the medicine cat dismisses the lot of them: he was asked to entertain Catfishpaw, and if the peanut gallery is dispersed, then all the better for it.
But instead of leaving, more appear. He sighs imperceptibly. It seems he’s being punished for his sins.
At least Saltsting’s reaction (or lack thereof: he just doesn’t seem appalled at the thought of himself and Ravensong) validates his original suggestion. He knew there could be something there.
Things continue to go for the worse: Hazecloud and Lichentail’s are infinitely more prickly about their ‘thing’ than Ravensong could ever be, and to have one hear and be followed closely by the other… What a nightmare. Snakeblink has half a mind to stand up and leave with his life while he still can: the way Hazecloud glares at him, he doesn’t value his chances to survive the interaction very highly. And this isn’t the kind of mortal danger Cindershade would condescend to protect him from: she would be more likely to laugh at him outright for getting into such a situation, again.
But he’s doing better than Pikesplash: the way Hazecloud makes the blue tabby the target of her ire, it’s clear he’s the one she means when she speaks of Lichentail’s friends. That guilt in particular, Snakeblink is glad to do without.
(Although it is bittersweet — as much as it shouldn’t. He hardly believe he and Lichentail were friends before this. Friendly, perhaps, but he doesn’t fool himself into thinking they held him in a much higher regard than required by their shared position.)
He’s surprised when Dipperpaw calls him out directly, asking how he would feel if others discussed his personal affairs in public. She does not strike him as a particularly mouthy apprentice. Knowing this, he lets her remark sit with him for a moment longer, taking it at face value and wishing to answer it honestly. But he can only shrug in response: ”They already do.”
Gossip is everywhere, especially in a clan setting, and everything about him invites others to whisper behind his back — though it might just be that he has made an habit of eavesdropping, and notices it more when it’s about him. Yesterday alone he heard two queens wondering idly if he could be blackmailing Cicadastar, to have been made a lead-warrior in spite of his cowardice; yes, it feels uncomfortable, but romantic gossip is hardly this critical of the cats it’s about, right?
(He is quickly starting to question that, given the reactions around him.)
If they are my friends then surely they will have no issues sharing what they were saying about me… Right, Snakeblink?
Like the rest of them, Lichentail’s appearance should push him deeper into embarrassment; but Snakeblink is once again distracted, this time by their words.
”Am I your friend?” It comes out more skeptical than he meant it too; it’s only that he’s surprised, and, despite everything, pleased to hear that Lichentail would call him such. Although it may only be because of Hazecloud’s previous words; they may not mean anything by it at all. Still, he tries to reply in earnest. ”I was merely bringing Catfishpaw up to speed, so to speak: she has been confined to the medicine den a long time, and Ravensong did not report the kind of mundane news that I have.” In a more apologetic tone, he murmurs, ”It may have gotten a little… private. It didn’t occur to me that any of this was a… a secret, I suppose.”
After all, he heard about it. Surely he was not the only one?
