A severed toad lay at Ferndance's feet, its innards already gorged upon by the voracious tabby. She had been content to spend the afternoon alone recharging after a particularly engaging patrol, instead, she heard a familiar voice call her, emerald eyes shifting toward the grey tabby. Her question caused the coarse fur upon Ferndance's legs to stiffen somewhat. She craned her neck towards the Nursery, then back to Maggotfur, blinking softly. "Oh, it was awful." The pressure on her in those moons had been immense; the snarls that she was damning the clan to starvation, the belief that her choices meant she had murdered Sprucepaw, the five-moon confinement that followed.
A guilty conscience did little to mitigate the belief that being a Queen and being a ShadowClanner was a dangerous combination and that more needed to be done to ensure the wellbeing of the nursing cats and the kittens at their bellies. Moltface and Mockingbirdcry seemed to relish in the role, comfortable to remain in camp whereas Needledrift found it cloistering, overwhelming to never get the chance to see the swamp and all its beauty for however long it took their little ones to become warriors. Though angered at the early separation of kit and Queen, the traveler had always enjoyed her freedom of movement, wishing she could've had both the option to stretch her legs and the option to spend more time with her kin. A time ago it had seemed unattainable, now, she almost wished to ask Smogstar if it were possible for those who came after her. She reckoned her friend would appreciate it at least, should she ever become a Queen.
"You're tired, it's cramped, you can't go anywhere and there aren't many willing to kitsit let alone do it well, but... then you see the smiles on your baby's faces, and hear their laughter, you see them grow and become cats you can be proud of, and it makes how difficult it was worth it." Ferndance's kittens were perhaps the only creatures she loved more than herself, the only creatures she would sacrifice parts of herself to to make sure they would have enough pieces to thrive in the vicious wilderness. Her head tilted in an owllike manner, the dainty smile upon her maw replaced with a soft, almost motherly curiosity. "Why... why do you ask?"
