camp MY KINGDOM COME UNDONE ⚜ FIRST KICKS

Bluefrost has little to do now, and she's more or less alone in the den, but for Rattleheart's orphaned kits. She does not like spending time near that nest — the staler the scent grows, the harder it is for her to picture her friend sitting amidst the moss, grooming his children's fur, and every day, that graying memory hurts a little more. She does her best to distract herself with the bustle of camp, reclining just outside the dimness of the nursery and letting her round white belly seek the sunlight like a starved flower.

Someone had brought her a piece of prey. She cannot remember who it was — Pinkshine? Or had that been the day before? She stares at it, a rabbit she's pulled apart and picked through, before averting her gaze. She's not hungry, for once, though recently it seems a cavernous pit has opened within the confines of her stomach, greedy and fanged.

Do you have enough food, wherever you are? Is that rogue hunting for you? Bluefrost looks again at the rabbit, and the sight of it makes her faintly ill. I am being cared for like any Clan queen, while she starves and suffers beyond the border with some unkempt loner. Her eyes glimmer with familiar outrage — for Cottonsprig, but also at Cottonsprig — and she shoves her gaze away.

Even if I were in her place, Thriftfeather would bring me prey, she thinks. Thriftfeather would hunt until his paws wore to the bone, until I had all the lizards I could eat. The thought should bring her warmth, but it only causes her to backtrack into dizzying despair and loneliness.

Perhaps it is the thought of Cottonsprig, pregnant and alone, that causes it; perhaps it is her imagination about the babies' father. Whatever it is, something stirs in her belly. A paw prods the surface, distinct. She exhales raggedly, breathlessly. A kick. One of them kicked. Bluefrost places a paw to her swollen belly, and — yes, there it is again, this time she is paw to paw with one of her kits.

Tears spring to the corners of her eyes, but she does not allow them to fall. Unseemly, she thinks to herself, willing them to dry up, to freeze in place. I must... I must finish the rabbit. I must feed them. They must stay strong. She does not reach for the bit of prey, though; she holds her paw to her stomach and wills the kit to strike out again.

I will protect you, no matter what happens. You will never be driven from this Clan. A fluffy, smoky tail curls about her belly. There is no maternal softness in her expression; it's all freezing, bristling determination, it's all loneliness she does not know how to express anymore.

  • ooc:
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  • Bluekit . Bluepaw . Bluefrost, she/her w/ feminine terms.
    — “speech”, thoughts, attack
    — 17 moons old, ages realistically on the 14th.
    — mentored by Sootstar ; mentoring Brackenpaw ; previously mentored n/a.
    — windclan lead warrior and queen. sootstar x weaselclaw, gen 2.
    — penned by Marquette.

    lh blue smoke she-cat with white and emerald eyes. aloof, dignified, poised, haughty, composed, distant.


 
  • Crying
Reactions: PINKSHINE
She's made a habit of wandering near the nursery... She always kinda had, but it was more for a reason now. Less, lets see what the kits are doing! and I wonder if I still remember what the inside looks like... Lately, it's for Bluefrost. It had been for Rattleheart at some point, but...

Well... Bluefrost wouldn't wanna see a frowny Pinkshine. She'd was frowny herself, she could already see, and how would more frowning help her? Not at all, she thinks. Not one bit. She's cried one too many times this moon, already. She wouldn't let herself do any more of it. So Pinkshine wears a soft, close - lipped smile when she approaches. Her striped tail takes on a thoughtful sway behind her. " Bluefrost? " It's both a question and a greeting. Bright eyes look curiously down and where white paws hovered over her belly... ( And were Bluefrost's eyes wet with tears? She isn't really sure, can't really tell... Maybe it'd be better not to mention at all ). She'd focus on what she can see, Bluefrost looking oddly... What's the word? Um, well she was anything but relaxed. That's something that queens should probably be, she thinks.

" Are you... " She trails off, not super sure what's happening or what she should say about it. She tilts her head, birdlike. " Are they upset? " she proposes, blinking. How do you soothe grumpy kittens that haven't even been born yet? Were there herbs for that??? " Maybe they'd hear it if you told them a story, " she suggests. She'd loved stories when she was a kit, and of course they didn't stop being interesting once you grew up...

It's like, um, completely opposite to everything else that's been happening lately, the thought of telling stories late into the night, nosing sweet dreams into another head... Was she a bad cat for thinking of that more than anything else, right now? Pinkshine shuffles her paws. " I'm pretty good at stories, " with a hint of pride, she says.
 
  • Love
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Firefang found it strange to see Bluefrost this way; vulnerable and plump with kits. She still remembered the other she-cat as a kitten padding at her mothers paws, tail hung high and proud. Now she lay like a coiled fat viper outside the nursery and Firefang can't help but snort in amusement at the sight of her, Sootstar's kit had grown up. And her other prized daughter had faded into the wind her scent growing stale by the day, her only hope is that Cottonsprig hadn't joined her brother hastily into the darkness of death.

She hadn't expected Bluefrost to be a mother wasn't even sure if she wanted to be one, she wasn't the 'motherly' type but neither was the warriors own and she wonders how she'd raise her kits. Would her paws tread the same paths or would she lead them differently, the circumstances were different she knows they are both so different but were all Sootstar's lessons bad? She couldn't help couldn't give any advice, she didn't have kits but she knows if she did she'd raise them differently to how her mother raised her. She was in no rush to understand the weight of holding a childs life in your paws and literally within you, that was a grave responsibility she was glad she didn't have.

She approaches, an ear twitching in annoyance at the babbling of Pinkshine who'd never known tact. Her gaze follows the young warriors attention however as she comes closer, a paw hovers and the expression on Bluefrost's face while not an entirely new look shines with something new (along with the sheen of tears that refused to be shed). She had her pride had remarkable willpower, she wouldn't expect any less. She'd cast a look towards Pinkshine who recommends stories "I seriously doubt they can hear" she states dryly "Save them for when they can appreciate em'" she'd slowly settle herself down at Bluefrost's side. "If they're causing you discomfort maybe try hitting them back that could help" she's joking but her inflection is dry as it can be.

"...Anyway Bluefrost you feelin' alright" she casts a cursory glance towards the half eaten rabbit "I can get you something fresher if you want, like a mouse or thrush or somethin' that is if you're tired of rabbits"

 
  • Love
Reactions: Marquette