private NEVER MEANT TO KNOW 𓆩♡𓆪 MARBLEPAW

[DAWNGLARE]

Dawnglare would not gawk at the newcomer. Not in the way that ShadowClan undoubtably has — believing their times of bad tiding gone with the acquisition of a new little miss. Not in the way that their leader would likely think he ought to, when they inevitably hailed Marblepaw to the heavens, standing atop that stone as if they deserved to be as close to the stars as they were... Dawnglare's dalliance was one of mundane nature: a stutter in the introduction of... well that is just it, introduction. Meeting someone or something new. While Marble washes across his tongue without a scrap of familiarity to be found, something about the child gives him pause. If only the moonlight wasn't so strong... If only it was't so brilliant that it bleached all around it so thoroughly. In such a light, it was easy to pretend that anyone but him was meant be here.

When possible, he seizes his chance, rounding the pale molly whilst her mentor flaps her gums at something or other. He seeks resolution to his issue quickly — pushing himself close enough to observe the planes of her face without so much as a hello. Frustratingly, infuriatingly, it is just at the wisp - ends of his mind... Irritation pulls his gaze into something sharp and narrow. Like something to be dissected, he peers down at her. " Do I... know you? "

OOC. @MARBLEPAW hehe

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[MARBLEPAW]

The mysticism of the evening has Marblepaw's head spinning still. The overwhelming fur-bleaching glow of the moonlight and the shimmering, rugged body of the Moonstone have her rapt attention. She is startled out of her reverie when the lanky, long-furred medicine cat addresses her directly. She turns her green gaze toward him, startled. "Do I... know you?" He asks, and she frowns, unsure. "You... look familiar," she murmurs. Oh, stars, but how is that possible? His scent is wet with pine sap, with the metallic blaze of Twoleg-adjacency. He's of SkyClan. When would she have met with the medicine cat of a Clan she's never visited?

But some memory tugs at her brain. The ground is cold beneath her, and her mother's milk has dried up. The mouse she'd shared with her brother is nothing but broken bones scattered between them. Her belly is concave, her ribs stark against dull tan kitten fluff. "Do you have any food," she'd asked the passerby, strong and well-fed and with a jawful of leaves...

"You... were in the Twolegplace, when I was small," she murmurs. It clicks for her, the shrewd pale blue eyes, the faint look of distaste. "I... I lived there, as a rogue. My mother was exiled from ShadowClan before I was born." Her voice is too-forward, too-earnest, sharing things that shouldn't be shared, but the awe-stricken nature of the evening still hasn't left her young body.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 6 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

Familiarity glimmers in her minds eye... Dawnglare is hesitant at the notion — does not like the implications that could come with such a thing. Of destiny or of fate... ShadowClan does not deserve to be painted in such a light. Then again... Perhaps none of the Wild Clans truly did. His favor is a divine one. One that he does nothing but lose passion for as the moons pass on and the sun is deader - yet - deader in the sky. He gives an answering sniff. Crystalline eyes are searching, still.

She seems to find a correlation before he can. It makes sense — he is far more memorable than this scraggly she - cat. A wine - rich head sinks lower to her muffled word. Twolegplace... It certainly sounded like him. Tufted ears prick at the reveal that she was once of Twolegplace... A rogue, then... His face sinks in a rather animated display of disappointment. There was no merit in being a rogue where one did not have to be. Then again, the little miss was likely too young to make that decision for herself... My mother was exiled from ShadowClan before I was born. Dawnglare blinks in reply. Languid, assessing. Weight is what that word carried... in this forest, at least.

It's gradual, the shift from quiet assessment to narrowed curiosity. " Exiled? " he parrots, breathy in the way that a proper clan cat would say the word. " It's remarkable that you still live, " he comments. If her mother had any sense about her, Marblepaw likely wouldn't be standing here now... What a circumstance to go from, and then end up here, bathed in holy light. A sudden intensity has him pressing further — was it Wildcat pettiness, or danger baked into her very likelihood? " What's in your blood, then? Murder? Betrayal? "​

 

[MARBLEPAW]

Spirits seem to stir as Dawnglare whispers the word. "Exiled?" It's poison between them, she knows it. Marblepaw shrinks away from his pointed questions, the fur along her spine beginning to bristle into pale spikes. "What's in your blood, then? Murder? Betrayal?" She thinks of Betonyfrost, of the venom bubbling on her lips, the flash of her teeth bared in her direction.

She closes her eyes, remembering the thick forest air of StarClan, the way the shadows drenched the world in opaque gray fog. She flicks her ears, as though she can hear the grass parting again, as though she can feel her mother's muzzle against her flank, warm and somehow imposing. StarClan feels real, she remembers thinking.

"That is your mother," Betonyfrost whisper-hisses into one ear. "That is your legacy. Had StarClan been kind to any of us you would have starved before either of us could see the other's face." Her belly clenches, feeling full of cold water.

But Dawnglare is not Betonyfrost. He does not know, and she has the power, now, to tell him — or to not. Marblepaw blinks, long and slow, and lets the ghosts in her chest settle. The spiked fur rests, flattens. "Both," she admits, a frown creasing her muzzle. "But... I'm not like her. I'm a medicine cat apprentice," she imposes, meeting his blue glare with hesitant conviction.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 6 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

So it is true, then... Not one overblown penance, but twofold tragedy. Dawnglare lets his eyes stay wide as her word falls upon him. Thin - spined and gangly - limbed, doom already weighs upon her in full. He can see her shaking beneath it, even if she cant see such a thing herself. ShadowClan will begin to tremble alongside her, if allowed to linger for too long. Were Dawnglare something else — something benevolent beyond belief like She was, jewel encrusted and caring of each and every clan... he would wipe her away himself, save Starlingheart from terrors she perhaps knew about, but could not see the future of... He sees it all, but he owes it to nobody, anymore.

It'd be easy, too. To see that ShadowClan returns home with only one lone medicine cat beneath their moon... It is lucky for young Marblepaw then, that he cares none for the fate of ShadowClan. They could disappear next moon, and it would matter none. Indifference is what would let her walk away... Not fate. Not anything of the sort. And perhaps she truly believes what she says, I'm not like her. Perhaps she will never intend to be, perhaps she will never know she is... but blood's trail cannot be steered any which way. Mother rumbles warnings of this one. StarClan lets it happen... but then, they always did, didn't they?

The title of Medicine Cat Apprentice meant nothing, anymore. Dawnglare pushes himself forward to meet a lying face with merely a whisker between them. Moonglow lights a cold fire within his eyes. In posture, and in word, he is demanding, low vocals barely above a whisper. " How will you prove it to me? "​

 

[MARBLEPAW]

Oh, her honesty has driven Dawnglare to rise up against her. Moonlight glows like pale fire in his eyes as he advances, as his lips curl to reveal star-pale teeth. "How will you prove it to me?" His hiss curls and rattles about her like an adder. Marblepaw trembles in the face of his judgment, because — because how could she prove it to him, to anyone? She lowers herself until her belly scrapes the cold floor of the Highstones cavern. She wants to go back to Starlingheart, but — but no, she cannot. She must convince this medicine cat, the oldest of them here, the wisest, that she is worthy of her path, worthy of StarClan's gift.

"I'm here to give myself to StarClan," she whispers. "And... and I have already met with them in my dreams. They must see something in me." Is this answer good enough for him? Is it meaningful enough? She crouches before him, her submission clear in every angle of her body, in the press of her ears feather-light against her skull.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 6 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

She is... naïve. Young. Supple mind not yet flooded with penitence and premonition... Regret would flood to her the moment she is old enough to bear the brunt, he is certain. But she is not... stupid. With a pale belly scraping the floor, she perhaps shows more promise than any of those who had come before her. What sick and twisted irony, that promise sparks most brightly in someone with blood like hers... Something terrible sleeps within her, but she has not lost her fear. Maybe... Maybe, if it chained her tightly enough, that alone could keep her from a fate so terrible... Dawnglare does not waver. A blink could startle false hope into her. That split second where she feels strong is moment enough. It would do the forest good for her to remain like this... afraid. Satisfaction curls like a snake in his stomach — only... ah, his own generosity. A good deed in every sense. A grin teases at his lips before he is scowling again.

The admission startles him: spirits revealed before the moonstone could even be touched. He harkens to his own youth, where alongside him they had danced and played... And Mother had smiled so kindly, rasped a tongue atop his head and said: look at you... His spine is suddenly bristling jagged. The glistening of blue eyes shifts and shifts, not quite able to choose between moon - wide and crescent - sickle. " You... " for a moment, his voice trembles. Intensity floods back quickly, then. " StarClan bores easily, " he breathes the secret. It's a conclusion he is sure the others would not have the confidence to make, but he has seen enough. Been here long enough. " Something is not enough, " he hisses.

" Are you prepared? " so he presses, and already he knows the answer. " Prepared to give everything to cats that will not heed your prayers? " He dares not insinuate that they do not listen... For they hear them, and they laugh along... They make it clear in the prickle of Newleaf sun along his back. In the whistling trees. In the glow of the Moonstone itself, encroaching and disturbed. Consider this an act of rebellion, then, speaking such blasphemy into existence right beside them. Even the moon's glow has grown cold. All that he wanted — all that he prayed for was the ground they walked on, the body that sleeps within it. " Are you prepared to toil and toil until the day you drop dead? " He could end it here, sever it quick. " And if you dare to love — "

His breath hitches. Without him knowing, his tail has whipped up into a lash. Something unexpectedly personal has wound up inside... and here, it uncoils; wriggles out from his mouth in the choked breath he gives. When had he looked away?

Dawnglare finds her again, eyes wide in dim light. He lets himself calm in the face of her terror. Let's himself feel relief, joy. A small, pressing grin seals away the spilling of his guts. " Well... You best think again... " he finishes in a whisper. He exhales deep through his nose, close enough to make thin whiskers tremble. " ...That is the only thing that could ever absolve you. " And perhaps he could never be absolved, in His eyes...​

 

[MARBLEPAW]

She has not impressed him with her admission, and part of her knows that she would not. Dawnglare's wide, icy eyes pin her to the cavern floor with pale reproach. "StarClan bores easily," he tells her, and Marblepaw feels the fur along her spine prickle. He whispers this as though it's a tidbit of divine knowledge, something she should hold close to her chest, something she should cherish. She thinks of the pride glowing in her mother's green eyes, thinks of the nearness of her breath, the way the darkness of the forest had trembled on her whiskers. Would they grow bored of me?

His hiss causes her to flinch. "Something is not enough," he tells her. Marblepaw's eyes round with dismay. So even her gift — the gift to communicate directly with the stars — is not enough to drive the taint from her blood.

Dawnglare asks her if she's prepared to toil, to give her life away for cats who do not heed her prayers, and she trembles, but she says, "Yes. I am." This is a different kind of ceremony than the one Starlingheart had performed — this is an absolution, a cleansing by fire, but she feels phoenix-like on the other side of it, reformed.

I will give it all up to be the best medicine cat I can be. I will make StarClan proud. I will prove I belong.

Marblepaw slowly rises to her paws. "That is the only thing that could ever absolve you," Dawnglare tells her. She blinks. "Love?" Love, she has love — love for Lilacfur, for Sycamorepaw, for Gigglekit and Branchkit and Morelkit, for the Clanmates who watch her bend and twist leaves into poultices — but is that enough to absolve her?

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 6 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

​