oneshot NINTENDO 64 [✿] oneshot

[DOEBLAZE]

✿—— can you feel sad without knowing it?

that's what she wonders tonight, settled into her nest on the very edge of the warriors' den in a tight curl of limbs, holding herself together. she always slept easy as a queen. she'd fall into her nest at the end of the night, no space left for thoughts after chasing kits around all day. not tonight; tonight she can see the moonlight creeping through the den's entrance, paws digging into her nest, digging into her fur. holding herself together.

she thought she was taking enough patrols.

she thought she was doing enough work. motherhood had been a duty, but she could feel everyone's eyes on her back, hear the whispers lilting on the air—those who said being a queen was easier. she'd elected to believe them, to think that warriorhood would keep her even busier. somehow it doesn't; warriors don't have the energy of kits. she can only take so many patrols, tag along on so many outings, find so much to do. a new beginning, everyone said. a new beginning, she thought. she believed. she thought she would start anew, find the freedom she'd been searching for so desperately—thought she had found it on that night nearly a moon ago. she thought this was different, but she's just come back to the same old wounds.

can you feel sad without knowing it? she settles her head on her paws, pulls aching limbs closer, holding herself together. she thought she was better. she thought she felt better. instead she just feels tired, heavy, until she wants to just sink into the moss of her nest like a stone. burying her muzzle into the plush green below, green eyes staring hopeless into nothing, she wonders why she's like this. she's a warrior. her kits are safe. she's making friends. so why, why does she still feel this way?

she misses when she wasn't like this, if there was ever such a time.

NO LOVE, HOWEVER BRIEF (✿) 𝑰𝑺 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑫

• ooc: prompt oneshot <3
  

  As a queen of SkyClan, Bobbie's motherhood is a large part of her duty; but with the apprenticeship of her kits close at hand and her own training as a warrior about to begin, how does she feel about this new, inevitable beginning?

• nothing here, have a nice day :-)
• 
  — bobbie
  — she/her ; warrior of skyclan ; 40 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — chibi by its_oliverr
  — penned by dejavu
  

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