No place where I'll belong when I'm gone | Petalnose

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Snakeblink isn’t one to visit the Burial Place often. Though prone to drawn-out periods of mourning he never thinks to take time out of his day to commune with the dead in that way: he finds more relief from his grief in constant activity than quiet contemplation.

Sometimes though his duties do find him on the grim site anyway. The recent windstorm has not hit them as hard as, say, the garbage-dwelling Shadowclan, but it still left quite a bit of wreckage in his wake; cleaning the last of it has kept him busy these past few days, in-between patrols and other lead duties. As it is a little more remote, the Burial Place is the last one on his list: he will be glad to be done with this task. As inconsequential as the mess is, there’s satisfaction in a job well and truly done.

He’s making a neat pile of the broken branches littering the clearing when he notices Petalnose approaching. Oh, he has been meaning to reach out to the newly-promoted lead — he’d like to get to know her. This seems like a good opportunity… until he realizes she is probably not here by chance like he is: cats tend to visit the Burial Place for a very specific reason after all.

”Ah, Petalnose — hello. Are you here to see anyone specific?” Wincing — what a silly question to ask in such a place — he averts his eyes, focusing on the pile of scrap wood. ”I will be out of your fur soon, not to worry. Unless you would prefer company?”

His voice lilts, hopeful: his curiosity gnaws at him, and he doesn’t know when he will have the opportunity to catch her alone next.
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[Petalnose]

Damaged flowers hung weakly in her jaws, she could not find any that were in good health after the windstorm. Petalnose was like Snakeblink, normally she was never present within the solemn grounds. Although, guilt wrecking dreams swept over her. It swallowed her like the shadows she crept amongst to keep hidden. She felt it was a way of properly facing her grief in a quiet manner. She didn't want to attract attention and raise questions amongst the gossip feasting clanmates. She didn't want to seem weak.

As she emerged from the shadows, a voice made her head immediately spin in the direction of it. Her eyes held that of exhaustion and pain, eyelids fluttering to dismiss it quickly and head raising to adjust to her regular confident look. She did not expect the fellow lead warrior to be here, nevertheless, she didn't particularly predict conversiving with him much- especially within these grounds. She didn't often find herself in prolonged presence near the other except for regular passings throughout camp. Although, she blamed her reserved character. She heard the Tom was the friendliest out of all the lead warriors. Lichentail was friendly as well but held more awkwardness from what she saw and heard.

The patched feline couldn't find herself becoming defensive at his question. She needed to bring friendly connections between her team in the first place.

Petalnose rather felt herself searching for a vague answer, eyes darting to the spot she chose and back to the fellow brown tabby. "Kind of.. yeah?" She answered, shrugging her shoulders with a heavy sigh. She set the flowers at her paws, lashes fluttering at the pathetic frames. "But their bodies aren't really here."

The mention of company made her sway in thought. She did want to be left alone, especially of the topic of what she was individualisticly experiencing. Although, had she really gotten such a change to talk to Snakeblink? She might as well be one of the most distant lead warriors from him. Everyone else were as if they were friends with each other. She seemed.. out of touch from the five other high positions.

She for once shook away her normal behavior of defending her time and space, relaxing her tensed muscles. "Company is fine. I should get used to it more often." She slowly sat at an empty spot, free of a body below her. She carefully picked at the petals and let them raise into the air and be carried by the wind. She watched them fly, her claws digging into dirt below her. Perhaps a metaphor for herself of learning to teach herself to let go. She turned to make eye contact with him again with a stoic expression, "It looks nice. Were you assigned cleanup here? The river was a strenuous job especially when you have to chase all of it or worry about falling in. It makes it more exciting I suppose. How is it here? Haunting?" There was a touch of humor through her serious outer expression, something to shine light on the mood despite no trace of chuckle or smile.

Tags​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Though she looks guarded — unsure, perhaps, of his company — Petalnose doesn’t send him away, and she is caustic enough habitually that Snakeblink feels… if not confident, at least comfortable staying. He comes to sit next to her, tucking his paws under himself; careful, always, not to crowd into her space. Scattered petals dance in the breeze like small butterflies: he watches them instead of Petalnose, sparing his fellow lead the disquieting weight of his stare. A petal gets tangled in his whiskers and his nose twitches as he attempts fruitlessly to dislodge it without shaking his head like a fool.

”There is no obligation to suffer company here, of all places — but I appreciate your welcome, nonetheless.” He smirks, silently mocking his own stilted speech. ”I’m glad you think it looks nice: though it was hardly urgent, it felt like it needed doing.”

He doesn’t say that he more or less assigned himself to it, though the truth is easy to distillate from his words and the assumption he doesn’t confirm. He’s a little embarrassed to have spent so much time on such a trivial matter — even though he completed his other duties first, and this was technically done during his time of leisure.

Tilting his head, he breaks the silence again as it threatens to become awkward. ”If there are ghosts haunting this place, they have not seen fit to make themselves known to me.” A joke, though his serious tone makes it sound perhaps too genuine. ”I have no bodies buried here either: perhaps that is why.”

Is this the right subject of conversation to bond with the molly? It is grim, yes, but they are on a burial ground. ”Those you visit… Who are they?” He softens his voice, or tries to. ”Is there no way to visit their actual burial site? Or no point, perhaps — with Starclan watching over us, I suppose anywhere will do.”
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[Petalnose]

Petalnose had side glanced over to Snakeblink in order to evaluate his reaction, instead she caught a glance of a petal that caught in his whiskers. She turned her head back to the sky to hide an amused smirk, but it faded fast as she remembered the topic and sadness and confusion that swarmed deep in her heart.

The woman nodded in note as he spoke of cleaning duties, "I feel the burial place is most avoided.. or forgotten in a sense. However I suppose in the back of my mind I hadn't if my feet led me here unconsciously. I'll try to keep it clean while I visit." She spoke, seriousness peaking in her tone as she normally spoke for her duties. It was best to keep it clean, even if she didn't suppose she cared if her spot of burial was all messy. It was a body to leave, more for the others to take heart to. It was respect for their ancestors that hovered above them or wherever they belonged, maybe someone's spirit did care. She didn't want to test that theory with her bad luck already.


His joke made her scoff in good humor, quite familiar with serious toned jokes as she always seemed to tell them in that manner. "Just be careful not to step wrong on a grave where their tails are, maybe that'll change." She returned in humor, thankful to see Snakeblink take in on her way of joke. She hadn't fully formed a good opinion on the Tom, except that he was one of the more friendly leads and that he wasn't normally in the risky missions such as leading the secret sunningrocks patrol. She could only suppose he had good morals, morals that were better than the bunch. Maybe Lichentail was similar but she saw some fiercity in the pointed feline as well.

The question she had expected eventually, nevertheless, she still stiffened up at the question. Uncomfortablity seeping at her emotions but she dared not to let herself get irritated. She did make it known she was here for someone and for a reason, "Family; my brother and my mother. My father..? I was told he died honorably but that was right after I was birthed. Atleast what my dreams are telling me." She responded, "I believe I lived in the marsh lands. The memory of living there is vague and I'm not quite sure where that would be. So I'm stuck here to kind of get a sense to it.. playing pretend as some would call it."

She stretched her long limbs infront of her as if she was ridding of tension, returning her gaze upon the fellow brown tabby. "I don't want to stick here for long though, maybe you can join me for a short hunt. I don't think I've had the opportunity to know you well. That's my fault I believe but I'm making it up to you I guess."

Tags​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

He’s glad to find Petalnose not too mired in dark thoughts to react with a light heart to his attempt at humor. ”I’ll take that advice to heart. I step on enough living tails as it is: better not add the dead to the list, as well.”

But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a weight on her mind, and he sees the shape of it more clearly in the way she reacts to his question. He tilts his head in a silent apology for the indiscretion — even as he listens intently to the information she shares with him. He feels a small sense of kinship with her: he too outlived his mother and siblings, each resting somewhere too far or too vaguely remembered to visit. His own mourning ritual rarely takes place in this particular clearing, but he understands the impulse nonetheless.

Shaking himself free of the weight of this place, he gets to his paws and turns to her. ”Then it is my fault too, and I would love the opportunity to make up for it and get to know you as well.” he says as warmly as he knows how to. He appreciates her bluntness, and her willingness to spend time with him. ”Besides, I was also born in the marshland, so who knows — perhaps hearing about these memories will help shine light upon yours. Shall we?”
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[Petalnose]

Petalnose nods stiffly before leading the course, fixing her gaze upon the territory that they strode over. A slight avoidance of eyes contact was made as the burning memories of her small family swirled in her mind. The woman blinked heavily, in slight regret for ever telling her business. Business to someone she didn't quite know. Atleast, the details she'd always be distant with. What happened would always be her secret, her mistake. A furrow of her brows met her features for a moment, an indicator of frustration and regret.

The expression didn't last long, washing away like the wave of the river suffocating a paw print into nonexistence. Petalnose forced herself to look on the bright side, appreciating the fact she got to properly meet the senior lead despite her struggle of socialization. The other feline spoke in an interesting fashion; proper. He acted and spoke differently from the four, different was what reeled her wondering mind. She only wondered how he fought, she hadn't heard the greatest passing comments of his successions with spars. Though, it was only of the one with Cindershade she had heard.

She draws her tongue over her fangs in thought, finally flashing proper eye contact with her comrade, "So you say you were also born in the Marshlands. As I don't have clear memory; how was it? Any battles? Personal memories you love to share?" An inquiry of pure curiosity, there was a slight cock to her head. A good idea to get a taste of what she had conquered in her youthful days, but it was to know of the fellow tabby in addition. Small talk wasn't of her taste, but she supposed these questions would jog up a good conversation and feed her wondering mind.

Tags​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Petalnose leads and Snakeblink follows, waiting in the loaded silence for Petalnose to fill the ever-so-slightly awkward pause. He’s already intruding; he wouldn’t want to push her into speaking more than she wishes to. But speak she does, asking light questions that carry the weight of her personal tragedy: as I don't have clear memory.

The two of them have lost similar things: a family and the sense of belonging that comes with it. But at least Snakeblink can recall their faces, their voices, the gentleness of their touch. What does Petalnose have left? What can he give her back than a stroll through the marshes wouldn’t? It feels gauche to speak of his family, considering, but he has little else worthy of note to share.

”It was… wet. Muddier than the river — though you would not know it, looking at it as it currently is. ” He huffs a wry laugh. ”No battles, I’m afraid: I was never much of a fighter. Not until the Great Battle, and even since… Well, you know my reputation.”

Humming, he looks around in search of inspiration. Personal memories… ”There were many cats roaming the Marshlands back then,” he muses, ”Some who joined the colony and then the clans, some who moved away…” Some who died before they could do either. It was a hard life. ”Your family was among them, I suppose, though we never met. But I remember two in particular — a mated pair who would bicker constantly. On a good day you could hear them from the other side of the marshes: they were great for hunting because all the prey would run away from them and right into your paws. But they were very kind in spite of all the yelling.”

He smiles as the memory unfurls in his mind. He had not thought of this pair in… moons. Since joining the Marsh colony, most likely. ”Once, one of my siblings — Frog — got stuck in a puddle of thick mud after heavy rains. We were small then and my mother had been hunting, so we were trying to get them out on our own…” The stick they had been trying to use had been bigger than any one of them: they could barely pull it towards the puddle. ”They found us like this, and one of the two simply grabbed Frog by the scruff and pulled them out, weighing twice their size with all the mud. They waited for our mother with us, to make sure we were fine.”

Where are they now? Who’s to say. Not in the marshes anymore, he doesn’t think: he would have heard the yelling, surely.

He shakes his head to dispel the memory. ”We have clanmates nowadays to lend us a helping paw, but I remember it as a great kindness from strangers.” He’s been glancing at and away from Petalnose as he spoke but now he turns to face her, tilting his head questioningly. ”And what of you? Any memories you would care to share? I promise that I will not yawn at a story of battle: I have none to share, but I would gladly listen to one of yours.”
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 43 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​