private no sympathetic voices anywhere | lichentail

[salmonshade]

Days have gone by since Lichentails punishment was lifted. Salmon wishes she could say she had been amused watching it, but it had felt awkward. Looks of loathing- she also wishes she could recall why she had gotten punished in the first place. Boneripples justified, a deserter at heart, her punishment should have been more severe. Salmon returns to camp after a hunt, bidding Ratpaw a brief farewell for a few hours to let the younger molly rest. Eyes land on a cat she's been curious about for a while now, even as the heaviness of her catch weighs in her mouth.

She decides to approach.

"Lichentail." the dappled warrior greets evenly, flicking an ear in hello. The salmon is dropped at her paws. She feels a disgruntled sense of amusement at her choice of catch today, perhaps a cruel omen, a warning of her impending doom. It had been swimming weirdly, blue eyes flutter shut to block out her thoughts. At least there was a silly irony in it all. "Fairing well, lately?" she clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth, tone as blunt as it normally is. She does not hide her question between soft-coated, pick-around words. But it is not the only reason she has approached. Curiosity about how the gray-coated molly felt about her punishment was one thing, but her experience in mentoring was another. How long had she been with Brookpaw now? She does not want to approach any of the higher-ups, untouchable, but she just simply doesn't care enough to get information out of anyone else.

There was another thing: too alike, they were, too different, a vast river separating them. Too focused on work, aware of others opinions, not enough, not enough.

"Mentoring tips? If you have any. Salmon for trade if you do. Fresh." the fact that it is her first time ever taking another cat under her wing is obvious as she slides the fish forwards with a hum. Now she waits, blue eyes trained on the others in near curiosity.

₊˚.༄ info

• @lichentail
• 
  -> salmon ,, salmonshade
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 30 months
  -> warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with low white and blue eyes
  -> “speech, ff91a4” ,, thoughts
  -> lesbian ,, single
  -> smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  -> image by @wrendoings [ disc ]
  

​

 

[lichenstar]

It is nothing short of a huge relief... paw-steps that do not get trailed after, the simple pleasure of having a moment alone by the river outside of camp. A crooked tail lay with only the edges of a few strands of fur dipping into the cool water where it remained so low... so abysmally ruined from its truer form. Would this actually go resolved with the help of that colony Cicadastar had spoken with?

It seemed unlikely... but it was still a concern someone had to ponder on. How could they solve it...? The lead warriors themselves were certainly not StarClan and it wasn't like the leader had been guided to choosing them by StarClan itself so maybe it was an impossible burden to self-impose. But the welfare of the clan was her only motivation. Moving with a gaze that flicked back and forth to spy the faces that walked past her, Lichentail could not ignore the way she still felt watched... the way she swore sometimes she could still hear snickers behind her back.

Ravensong said it would be fine... A meager reassurance but one she'd tried to cling to, if only so she might not burden him with more of her complaining later. Raising a paw to wipe at her nose (it had been feeling congested but nothing too concerning of course), it was then that a familiar voice summoned her attention. This was Ratpaw's mentor... She was a much more protective sort than the blue molly she sought for advice today but that was probably made easier by Ratpaw's generally more pleasant demeanor. Brookpaw was nothing if not one to test her limits... and they'd already butt heads when the girl was smaller.

"Salmonshade," they respond in turn, an airiness there that is not extended to most these days... At least she feels this dappled molly will be straight with her. "I am doing better now. I can finally return to my routines." Perhaps that didn't seem like a huge improvement but... it made her antsy not to. At least this way she could escape the perked ears of her clan-mates that still yearned for her to misstep again soon.

O-oh... Well... Mentoring.... Right, yes, business! It's... just business. A flicked ear is the only suggestion of the disappointment she cannot shake. It is not negative, she reminds herself, to be sought out for advice... it is a compliment.

"You don't have to bribe me with..." A small laugh, seeing the salmon for what it is and who her company is to match, "Salmon. But I appreciate the trade. Is... Ratpaw giving you trouble? I didn't expect her to be a particularly troublesome child. Don't... get me wrong... Brookpaw is by no means easy." She is only recently made easier by the weight of tragedy to dull that usual incessant spark...

"Is there something in particular you wanted help with? Struggling to connect with her? Or just nervous since it's your first?" A bit... direct. Salmonshade would have to cope... they weren't probing to mock her anyways.​

 

[salmonshade]

Her chin tips upwards, either in confusion or thought, Salmon did not know. Doing better now? Is that it? "I've seen the way they look at you-" they fall from her mouth before she can stop them and Salmon draws back with a visible wince. Oh, foxdung, it had not meant to be voiced. Her next words are a little quieter, less intense. "I only wish to say that I believe you are undeserving of them." she yearns to say more, ask why, ask what was going on in Lichens mind when the punishment had been rolled out. She'd proven herself to be trustworthy- thats why she had gotten promoted, right? Despite the punishment, she was a loyal Riverclanner.

The blue point had a knack to be misunderstood by others, whether it be jokes or remarks. Salmon hopes the same fate doesn't befall herself.

"Right." she clears her throat, a small smile playing on her lips despite the slight shame that burns her ear tips and her cheeks. "Well, she's not giving me trouble..." Salmon hesitates. What had she been looking for again? Eyes go down, to the salmon at Lichens paws. A bad omen, she thinks again, untimely death. She's never been superstitious. "She takes to the water like a fish. She's good. But..." another slight hesitation as she trails off. She doesn't like letting her guard down. She doesn't like others knowing what she is thinking. She slightly hangs her head, angling it in such a way that she didn't have to meet Lichens eyes. "I don't want to mess up. In her training. Since it is my first, yes." she reiterates Lichens words in to her own

Salmon, bad omen. Morph to a rat on its side. Irritation burns through her skin like a fire, when would the overthinking stop?

"I think i'm just stressing myself out over it." she admits. "It's got me thinking weird." she grimaces. "I know, realistically, I cannot hover Ratpaw. But I fear, that because she is so tiny, naïve, that the world will eat her alive. Did you feel the same with Brookpaw?" she slightly squints. She did not mean to pour her heart out but she is not a social-savvy cat, no, quite the opposite. She can navigate social interactions well, but thats about it.

She prays Lichentail does not mention it.

₊˚.༄ info

• 
  -> salmon ,, salmonshade
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 30 months
  -> warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with low white and blue eyes
  -> “speech, ff91a4” ,, thoughts
  -> lesbian ,, single
  -> smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  -> image by @wrendoings [ disc ]
  

​

 

[lichenstar]

The bold continuation from something as generally harmless as small-talk leaves both parties reeling, the ashy molly finding an involuntary lashing of a broken tail to be her telling sign of agitation. While it might be a matter of reassurance, the confirmation that she wasn't imaging such things and instead, they found purchase in the social murmurings of her clan, was nothing short of disturbing news. The follow-up is swift, a correction for a misplaced paw in conversational dance, one acknowledged with the wince that follows an excited tongue.

Stretching her neck to try to displace the tension forming in her shoulder blades, the stress of the conversation was already wearing thin on her, trying to shake it off as a harmless slip up and not a jab. Shaking out scruffy fur, the lead offers an honest reply, "I appreciate it..." It lacks detail or any heartfelt depth... A wall kept fast for fear of further misinterpretation.

Despite the distance she keeps emotionally, it appears Salmonshade does not feel the same need for guardedness... She dives into her anxious thoughts as if she'd been drowned by not speaking them... A deluge of information, praise, fear and begging curiosity. What could she provide...? What could time-worn paws do when gently handling the fragile ego of another, equally as prone to the fates that would befall them despite every prepared outcome?

"I can't express my relief we are not given another drypaw with that one," they purr, offering a forced smile to add to the reassurance.. it feels unnatural and insincere... All RiverClan cats should know how to swim. But the tortie is not looking for adulations for the success of her apprentice thus far, it is concerns of the future that wrack her mind in moments of privacy. Children were incredibly fragile... resilient at the best of times but when they break...

They crumble.

"We were all tiny and naive once," carefully articulated as a reminder rather than a teasing mockery. "Brookpaw is a far more stubborn girl I think.... but when faced with difficulties, it's always those ones that fracture the most. Ratpaw is at least... gentle. I think the things she needs will be made plain to you with time. But.... if you're worried, the best thing you can do is not to smother her... She can't learn anything from four fox-lengths behind everyone else."

A small nudge to the molly's shoulder, before she secures a bite of the salmon as part of her owed payment. "I'd be happy to join you from time to time in Ratpaw's training. I'm sure Brookpaw would love to show off to one of her younger den-mates too."​