- Sep 18, 2022
- 103
- 16
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Redpath was always so cheerful and playful, some would call her childish. She didn't care, she enjoyed being bubbly. She loved her clanmates, and she hoped they loved her back. They were all she had.
Sometimes though, she didn't feel that way. Even when surrounded by her clanmates, sometimes she still felt alone. It was stupid to feel this way, she told herself. She told herself this every day, and yet the part of her that felt like it was missing never returned.
Her thoughts always drifted to her dear friend, who's murder shook her to the core.
It slowly began to dawn on her. Every time she saw the various couples in the clan, she felt an ache inside. She ignored it at first. It wasn't important, she didn't want to feel jealous of her clanmates. She was happy for them.
Yet as time went on, it began to grow, and she found herself unable to ignore it. She couldn't ignore how alone she felt anymore. She wanted someone to rub up against her and nuzzle her lovingly. She wanted someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to be silly with.
Would she ever have these things again? She had her crushes. She found several cats cute. Wasprattle was cute. Cindershade was cute. Houndsnarl was cute. Cicadastar was cute, though she would never admit it. No, she wanted to live.
She would take all her crushes to her grave. She would never tell anyone. It wasn't important, anyways.
She didn't need a mate to be happy, anyways! It wasn't important.
Yet still, the aching loneliness inside was slowly eating away at her and she didn't know what to do about it.
Maybe it will just go away with time. She had more important things to worry about, anyways.