private Now I've got no excuse ✶ Edenberry

[Owlheart]

In a time of so much loss from the paws of rogues and the uncertainty following so many cats disappearing she was thankful that Edenberry hadn’t fallen victim to whatever illness had taken them. She had thought about asking Spicepaw about how they were doing while they were gone but she didn’t want to stress out the apprentice with more questions. That was something that she didn’t have to worry about though, because the daylight warrior was back. Comparably a little lethargic in the early days that marked the beginning of their return to routine, but they were back and that’s what mattered. She hoped that everyone was just as relieved as she was to see that familiar face, hopefully her sister was included in those that were relieved. That was a concern that was none of her business though, and the tabby knew that she could only really worry about how she felt over this situation.

She would be a liar if she said that she didn’t try to keep an eye out for them in the days following their routine. Uneasy that they may still be sick, maybe the daylight warrior pushed themself too hard to try and rejoin their clanmates. She would feel terrible if she wasn’t doing her part to make sure that they were fine. Dusk lingered in the sky, tinging the blues of the day into oranges and reds as the sun swaps with the moon. The camp bathed in that tinge of warm colours as she rejoined it, thrush in maw from a successful hunting patrol. Making her way to the fresh-kill pile she saw something that brought her pause, almost causing the prey to slip from her maw. Edenberry was by the fresh-kill pile, eyes seemingly to be flicking over the collection of food.

Were they hungry? Weren’t they hungry last time before falling ill? One of their last days at camp, Owlheart remembers it well. The cry out of bad prey, how things didn’t taste right and it had brought her friend great distress. She hadn’t seen them in a state like for so long, she hoped to not see that again. Anxiety wells in her chest as she rushes to stand by their side, trying to play it off as just being eager to showcase the kill they caught rather than obvious concern over Edenberry’s health.

“Are you looking for something to eat before you go home?” Golden eyes stare at the black striped cat, after consideration she sets the thrush she caught at their paws. This should be fine right? Nothing smelt bad when she caught it and since it only just died nothing should be wiggling inside there- oh but what if the thrush itself ate something bad? Maybe that’s why it felt easy to catch? Anxious thoughts chase each other in a vicious cycle before the sound of Edenberry’s voice draws them from it.

“Please eat this then, I just caught it so nothing should be wrong with it- I could check it first though? To make sure that nothings wrong?” She bites her tongue to stop herself from continuing on suggestions on how she could possibly help right now. The prey should be fine and Edenberry wasn’t sick anymore so nothing should hopefully taste bad anyways, right?

// @edenberry ?!
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[edenberry ?!]

Furs of browns and blacks, feathers of whites and blues.... they are a mix of colorful death that sits in a haphazard pile, waiting to be dismantled and plucked apart before time can sink its claws into tender flesh and ruin it. Their hunger.... is for that of comfort.... Looking over the prey pile, Edenberry cannot shake the feeling of uncertainty, of disgust with the self under their skin. Worry gnaws at their toes, nips at their nose.... Did you make it home safe? There'd be no knowing.... Raindrop has no reason to come back now.

The gust of air that tells of a summoned presence draws them from their vacant staring, a feeling of guilt weighing heavily in the space between their ears- They're still worried... And why shouldn't they be? Edenberry had practically vanished... for many moons with no true explanation and what tale they were given was so tall it might be hard to see the top of it. "O-oh uhm... Yeah, I was thinking about it," they answer, offering a small smile that takes more effort to wear than normal.

"You caught a thrush," they remark rather stupidly, glancing at the bird as it's set between their paws. Owlheart probably took after her namesake, flying through the trees to pounce on unsuspecting prey from the canopy. They forgot how much they'd missed that part... the breeze through thin fur as the ground comes quickly closer and closer. The ringing in your bones if you didn't quite stick the landing.

Their orange-drop friend offers her catch as a gift, quick to spiral into tangent about checking it over, taking a bite, being the first victim maybe. Edenberry laughs, softly, genuinely amused for that single moment. "I'm okay Owlheart," the striped cat purrs, "Really..." Their spring-bloom gaze moves back towards the offering, tail twitching in consideration for a moment before offering a suggestion, "I'd still like to share though... if you're hungry. It's been awhile since we got to share tongues anyways!"

Maybe they could lick this weird feeling off their spine in the presence of friends, with the help of normalcy.

---

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 〰 i want no more than this

• -- edenberry / skyclan daylight warrior / any pronouns / 16 moons
  -- mostly white with black pinstripe and green eyes / scarred face and back
  -- color #728c69​

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[Owlheart]

She blinks in response to the obvious remark Edenberry made, yes she did catch a thrush. “Yeah, it was a little tricky but… I did it” she spoke sheepishly yet she beamed with pride all the same. Still feeling elated from this victory, it was always exciting when able to catch a bird. To defy gravity and leap just right- had Edenberry been able to enjoy the thrills of hunts like that since they returned? Maybe they were taking it easy, for the sake of their health. She keeps it by their paws, expectation in her gaze as shesettled on her haunches beside them.

Edenberry’s laugh was enough to ground her from spiralling too much in anxious thoughts about who would face the wrath of spoiled prey. She shuffles awkwardly beside them, fighting the urge to look away and yet she tries to seek out their eye line. To see if they truly were okay, surely their grass hued eyes would portray any hidden emotion. Yet she doesn’t see anything, just that good natured friend that she had always known. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She presses, fretting taking over the fear of being too pushy. The striped cat confirms it, they’re okay. So that means that hopefully the prey would be okay, she still prods at her cheek with her fangs softly in worry. Gaze falling to the prey again, trying to discern if she could catch anything amiss with it from where she was.

“I could be hungry” she hums quietly in thought. Ears flattening as she corrects herself “I am hungry I mean- uh, yes. I’d like to share this with you” she didn’t usually keep track of when she ate, finding her mind too preoccupied with other insignificant concerns. She felt a small pang of hunger, it was getting late anyways so she should eat, yes. This would be fine. She follows them to a quiet spot, stomach pressing against the earth as she tucked paws underneath her body. Glancing back at the daylight warrior, not moving to take the first bite and instead offering a silent invitation for them to take the first bite. Instead Owlheart finds herself watching the other cats making their way to the fresh-kill pile and to their respective dens.

“Are you adjusting okay to being back?” She wonders if they got many visitors while sick, probably not since that would void the purpose of keeping to themself. Trying to keep others from being ill would be more important than visitors but she was concerned for them at that time anyways, wouldn’t it be lonely. “Has anyone given you a hard time?” There was hope that they would say no, but she was prepared to have to learn the art of confrontation if so. They can’t help it after all and from her perspective they returned as soon as they were able to. “I missed you, SkyClans not the same when you're gone” it’s a soft confession, but sincere all the same. She smiles at her friend, hopefully they knew that they were missed.
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[edenberry ?!]

Tricky.... Edenberry withholds a small snort, remembering their struggles with hunting in the dead of winter. How quickly that time was coming around again... would they be a better hunter this time? It certainly seemed important, given their age... their new status as a warrior rather than a meek apprentice. Their ear twitches, glancing towards the distant tree line with a sort of amused uncertainty. At least in SkyClan the trees did not bare all their leaves... those tiny needles clinging tightly to the branches, keeping the forest floor insulated despite the snow.

They'd get to bother Twitchbolt again about it soon, trying to squeeze too-long limbs under his chin for a thin veil of protection from the falling flakes. Owlheart's persistence about the status of their health is kind, if not gut-twisting. A farce that they all crowed about so fervently.... a hoax. "I promise," is answered one more time, just to be sure (just to beg not to be asked again).

"Good!" They leap at the chance to move on, grabbing the feathery prey between their teeth with a quick scoop and happily trotting after the sunset pelt of their friend. There will be no convincing her to take the first bite though, tucked up like a cinnamon bun left on the counter to cool. Edenberry rolls their eyes, playfully, as they deposit the meal on the ground and take a healthy chomp.

They swallow after a little bit, given a small barrage of questions to sift through. It wasn't things they'd thought much about, frankly. "Uh... yeah, I think so! My legs have been a bit sore... haven't walked around this much in awhile. That'll go away with some more time though, I don't mind." The main culprits that come to mind as potential negative-nettles about their return are... oddly silent, perhaps reserved after their removal from Orangestar's council. "No, no, I don't think anyone's upset with me at least. They haven't said as much to my face- you'll have to let me know if you hear otherwise."

Edenberry was not confrontational but... best to know whose sour attitude to avoid. There's a small lag there... before a whispered breath sneaks past a timid tongue. Their brows pinch together sadly, thinking about all the times they'd felt their absence would go relatively unnoticed. That no one would care. That they weren't really a key piece in anyone's life. It had been a selfish reassurance... one apparently lacking truth. "I'm sorry," they answer, forgetting themself and the ruse they're meant to upkeep- after all, who'd apologize for being ill? "I missed you all terribly...." They lean gently against the mass of feathery fur for a second, a touch of friendly affection before sitting back up properly. "I hope I didn't worry you too much."

It hadn't been a concern worth considering before.... And now it felt like a burn they hadn't recognized until the smoke started to pool around their paws.

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𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 〰 i want no more than this

• -- edenberry / skyclan daylight warrior / any pronouns / 16 moons
  -- mostly white with black pinstripe and green eyes / scarred face and back
  -- color #728c69​

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[Owlheart]

She watches them curiously, if not scrutinising. Trying to analyse their expression, expecting even the smallest wrinkle of the muzzle in disgust. That didn’t come though, they seemed to be having a perfectly fine meal. Immediately she felt a little embarrassed over being so concerned, clearly Edenberry wasn’t going to find foul prey in the kill that she herself had just claimed. Kindly enough, the conversation continues and she doesn’t have to dwell on these thoughts. “Not planning on trying to climb the Tallpine anytime soon?” She smiles as she speaks, letting herself become more relaxed in her friend's presence after she found that the fresh-kill was in fact fresh.

There was a stifled sigh of relief from the tabby, tucking her paws underneath her chest as she laid against the grass. She was thankful that no one had actually said something mean spirited or spiteful towards them. Owlheart wasn’t that naive, she knew that daylight warriors weren’t regarded very warmly from every single clanmate. She disagreed with that yet knew that it was a harsh reality. There was concern that somehow Edenberry’s illness would bring them unwanted attention in that regard. It seemed like that was an out of proportion concern, she was happy to be wrong in this instance. Still, she stared at them just in case there was any signs that they were hiding something in that regard, she was satisfied in the fact that this didn’t seem to be the case.

The apology threw her off, she blinked rapidly at the striped cat. Unsure of what to say in reply, why would they apologise for being sick? It wasn’t their fault, unless they had gone out of their way to get sick but that seemed so unlike Edenberry. “What are you sorry about? It’s out of your paws” she meets the brief contact, leaning against them in turn, when they sit back up properly she nudges the side of them. Trying to garner some kind of attention, wherever it works or not she tries to flash a reassuring smile. Guilt is easy to come by Owlheart, and it’s lingering over her now. It felt terrible to her that she brought so much worry to the daylight warrior. “You know me. I get worried easily, don’t stress over it, okay?” It felt ironic for this reversal of roles, to be reassuring them and for her of all cats to tell them to not stress.

“You’re back now, try not to get sick anytime soon” she chuckles, though the worry and concern don’t leave the pools of her eyes. Hopefully the reassurances were doing something, she always felt awkward trying to bring comfort even if she desired to do so. “If you’re worried about me worrying” this was a terrible start “you could always come hunt with me, or we could climb together? Get your legs used to being active again. Make up for lost time?”
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[edenberry ?!]

The mention of Tallpine is an entertaining idea.... They almost forget the exhaustion in their limbs at the prospect of such a grand undertaking. Maybe they could best even Orangestar! Then maybe they'd be able to demand some respect from their peers, to show that even a kittypet can be the forest's most impressive climber! They almost forget to respond, swept up in a daydream so quickly and fiercely, "Well... now that you mention it," they joke, giving a mischievous grin.

Owlheart catches their apology, notices it with inquisitive ears and pitying eyes. "What are you sorry about?" Their throat runs dry. "It's out of your paws." Their gaze flicks away, towards anything except the face of their friend, a horrible sinking feeling crawling up their body, threatening to grab them by their tongue. An exasperated vision of Spicepaw sits across from them, frowning her disappointed frown. "You want me to lie?"

"Just... a bad habit I guess," they mew through their teeth, eagerly scrambling to dive into the safety net of Owlheart's excessive concern, "It's a good thing to worry about others. It keeps everyone safe." Not to stress about it though.... when worry often came paired with curiosity. Edenberry isn't sure they can fulfill that part of their clan-mates wishes.

"Believe me, I've got no interest in being sick," they continue, trying to laugh with her to get the sticky feeling off their back. But... she's a much more sincere cat than the pinstripe is, suggesting they go hunting to try to weave together the small rift that time apart had created. A gentle urge towards normalcy and hunting and the typical duties of the life they'd itched to return to. "If it'll settle your fears about my poor, frail body... we can go hunting," they reply, purring half-heartedly and more antsy than ever to flee camp where they might not risk being overheard.

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𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 〰 i want no more than this

• -- edenberry / skyclan daylight warrior / any pronouns / 16 moons
  -- mostly white with black pinstripe and green eyes / scarred face and back
  -- color #728c69​

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[Owlheart]

“I can understand that” She doesn’t try to seek too deeply beyond their comment. If they were claiming it’s just a bad habit then how is she to know any different? “I apologise a lot as well” Owlheart aims for sympathy, happy to provide that safety net to distract Edenberry from her probing question earlier. The tabby glanced down at her paws, trying to think of something to say. She could agree with what they were saying, that it can be good to worry about those around them, surroundings and peers alike. It was a bad habit of her own to extend that worry into a spiral, that droning sound of anxiety can be overwhelming at times and she knew that.

“Good, I’d be worried if you were looking forward to falling sick” she smiles, it’s a little wobbly. The concern still laced into her interactions with them but it’s melting into something friendlier, something more informal. Well, as informal as Owlheart could possibly be, it was a struggle sometimes to try and carry a casual attitude to something that realistically should be easy to do. Talking to a friend didn’t require a plan, yet she struggles to not be able to cling to the comfort of a rigid structure and formal attitude.

Truthfully, she was thankful that Edenberry had continued the conversation. Worried that her probing and concerns would have driven the daylighter off but it didn’t seem to be the case. “I’m sure you’re not that frail…” Trailing off she glances at her friend, they seemed mostly the same. That’s what seemed uncanny, it was just the slightest of differences between the Edenberry that was here before getting sick and the Edenberry in the present day. “It will settle my fears though, try to not out-hunt me” no doubt they could still hunt to the best of their ability, even with rust painting the edges of experience in their time away.
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[edenberry ?!]

They should be thankful for Owlheart's blind faith in their words, not considering them for more than their face value- for every casual recognition the orange she-cat has, a new panic spirals in them. Perhaps that was the side effect of keeping secrets.... telling lies... the nagging fear that someone was always a whisker away from cracking the truth. That you were leaving too many details behind to be noticed and glued together later.

"I'm not sure I know any cat interested in being sick," they purr, "Not even Dawnglare looks forward to it... it means he actually has work to do." It is a jest made at the expense of the medicine cat's image, implying he's lazier than he looks but... he probably wouldn't be too mad to hear a joke like that made, right?

They take a quick, final bite of their shared (barely) meal before standing to their paws, whiskers twitching at Owlheart's observation- maybe not that frail... but still, they couldn't deny the lack of exercise had made them complacent. Sore muscles were bound to be a side effect as their activity ramped up back towards normalcy. "Outhunt you? Ha! You probably have these trees memorized like the back of your paw... I still misjudge how far a branch is for a jump sometimes," their tail lashes, tiny bob that it is, to consider the longevity of the wounds of their youth.

At least with practice and time, they'd gotten used to it... though mistakes were bound to be made at least a few times in a lifetime. They bump her shoulder playfully, eyes growing round with mischief, "I heardddd that you made it official with Crowsight and Oddgleam.... How's that been going?"

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𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 i want no more than this

• -- edenberry / skyclan daylight warrior / any pronouns / 16 moons
  -- mostly white with black pinstripe and green eyes / scarred face and back
  -- color #728c69​

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[Owlheart]

There's nothing inherently scandalous about what Edenberry says and yet she looks over her shoulder at their surroundings just to make sure that the medicine cat was in ear shot. She's obvious in her movements, not seeing a point in concealing it from her friend. Satisfied that they weren't going to be hearing an upset medicine cat any time soon she glanced back to the pinstriped daylighter. "You probably shouldn't say that... but yeah. Do you think the other clans medicine cats get that upset when they see someone sick coming to their den?" Her meek smile blossoms into a grin as she laughs at the thought. The answer was probably yes but for different reasons, she's sure that compassion from the medicine cat exists but his eccentricities sometimes eclipsed that.

Surely someone out there looked forward to being sick, maybe not actively seeking it out but wouldn't complain if it occured. She didn't dwell too long on this hypothetical cat of course, though it probably will become a thought that lingers in her mind during quieter times for days to come. It's quite easy for the young warrior to become bashful, this conversation was no different. Owlheart could feel her ears grow warm as she shrugs her shoulders, she hadn't really thought about it like that. "I don't think I remember them that well, I cut it close sometimes too. Don't tell anyone though" she finds that she does get caught up in the moment sometimes, racing from branch to branch.

She hadn't sustained an injury for quite some time, a blessing she supposed but knowing her luck she would wind up in the medicine den sometime soon after participating in the joke. She stands from where she sat, following Edenberry's stride as they started to leave camp. The bump against her shoulder is met with confusion only for her ears to warm again at the mention of her mates. "I uh- um" she stammers for a moment, still not used to discussing conversations like this.

"It's been going good, I think if anything becoming official has made both of them clingier. You should see them when I try to leave our nest in the mornings if it's too early" she tactfully omits the fact that she can be just as attatched in the quieter hours of morning or the middle of the night. She sighs softly, her gaze softening at the thought of her mates, she didn't regret asking them but then again she never thought she might have. Remembering where she was she shakes her head with a flick of her ear, looking at the forest beyond camp.

"How are you and Cherryblossom?" She doesn't wish to be presumptuous and ask if there were any plans beyond padding after one another. Owlheart couldn't recall a grand reunion between the two when Edenberry returned after being gone for so long. Granted, she tries to not pry too much into the affairs of her siblings, much less her sisters so there was a good chance that she had simply missed it.
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[edenberry ?!]

Dawnglare would probably be fine, even if he did happen to overhear them... nothing that another toy from their nest couldn't smooth over. They knew just how much he enjoyed trinkets like that... and had gone out of their way to thank him for saving their eye moons ago... It felt like there was enough of a foundation of respect there that the sour medicine cat wouldn't take back their eye as a trophy to sate his ego.... probably. "I dunno... maybe. Maybe moreso in the winter when herbs are scarce. Or maybe only when they feel it's preventable? It'd be a little messed up to get mad about someone getting jumped by a... a dog or something." Even their aloof, glowering sunrise didn't seem capable of such indifference or cruelty.

Owlheart remains humble despite the praise of their friend, trying to appease them maybe or just a show of humility (self-depreciation? anxiety?). It's fine though, Edenberry has already honed in on something far juicier, ears bobbing in eager impatience as the golden cat stumbles over how to respond. Why was everyone so weird about talking about their loved ones...? The black and white cat seems to remember a very public, loud confession of their affection for Cherryblossom... Was that truly so unusual?

"That sounds nice," they purr softly, trying to ignore the way it catches in their chest at the reminder that they'd had something similar once. Not in the form of doting mates but.... "I know I've lingered behind later than I should when Cherryblossom has asked me to..." The last time had been just before they disappeared... quoting an illness that didn't exist.

The lightning made her miserable...

Speak of trouble... "Huh? Uh.. yeah. Cherryblossom's been.... distractible as ever," they answer, hoping it comes across as an affectionate tease more than a source of discomfort. "I'm just surprised she seems to be in a good mood despite being demoted while I was gone... She's been hanging out with Lupinesong a lot but that's just kinda how its always been." Always second pick when the competition was a den-mate that never had to leave her side...

⟡₊ ⊹ i ll betray you like a man

• 
• -- edenberry / skyclan daylight warrior / any pronouns / 17 moons
  -- mostly white with black pinstripe and green eyes / scarred face and back
  -- color #728c69

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