of what i once believed - tugger

[emberstar]

HANGING ONTO HOPE​

Ember still found the presence of kittypets in camp strange.

It was all strange to her, of course. Waking up with so many warm bodies all around her wasn't something she was used to. She'd never been in a group like this. Never even seen so many cats in one place anywhere outside of the twolegplace. She was getting used to it though, and it was worth getting used to. Every day was new and wonderful. With new friends to make and new sights to see. She was having the time of her life.

Even with all that, the kittypets of the clan still stood out to her. It didn't make any sense that they were here. It went against everything her mother had told her about them. During the barren seasons, her mother had often warned her against the life of a kittypet. Told her that even during the harshest seasons they had warmth and comfort and food aplenty. That they grew fat and lazy. However, she would warn, for that privilege they gave up their freedom. Leaving themselves at the strange and sometimes cruel whims of their twolegs.

The cats here were nothing like that, though. They were not fat or lazy, and they were as free as any cat she had ever seen. Without so much as a twoleg in sight. It was curious to her, and that curiosity compelled her to seek at one of her clanmates who still wore his collar proudly.

"Heya Tugger!" She called out as she bounded over to the tom, as though the pair were old friends. In truth, they had scarcely exchanged words. "What was it like being a kittypet?" Ember asked bluntly, looking up at him with wonder.

@TUGGER ​

 

[Lionsnarl]

"GIRL, YOU'RE A DIME, I'M A DIAMOND"​

Children had never been Tugger's particular line of expertise. He had sired a fair few litters in his day, all purebred and all strange to him at the same time. He had been a breeding stud, used for his lineage rather than his paternal instincts. But still, these smaller cats seemed to flock to him like birds to a piece of stale bread on a hot sidewalk. Odd, how these things worked. And ho! The child brought with it a question. The ginger king pauses in his grooming ritual to roll the inquiry around in his mind.

"It was... different." He responds after several minutes. "I had food at predetermined hours of the day. The same food every time. I had several mates at once, though I didn't know their names. The humans pet me at home and then took me out every few weeks to test me against other cats that looked like me. I was flattered. I was prized." His whiskers twitch, reliving memories of the ring, of his life before Rain.

"I was different then." He concludes bluntly.​

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[emberstar]

HANGING ONTO HOPE​

The younger molly hung onto his every word with wide eyes. It sounded so strange. Similar to what her mother had told her, certainly, but the knowledge that he had lived it gave the descriptions a vibrancy that mere warnings could never have. "What did you even do all day?" She asked in wonder. "If you didn't need to hunt?" Her paws shuffle beneath her, as more questions rush to mind. "Is testing yourself against other cats what you did all day? Testing how? Like... fighting?" Her nose screwed up as she said the last bit. That didn't sound right, kittypets didn't fight. Did they?

It's a lot of questions, so she lets them hang in the air for a moment. Gives time for Tugger to find his answers. Though, one more finds its way from the tip of her tongue. "Did you like it better then living out here?" Ember asks genuinely. She would assume not. After all, if not then why not just go back? However there is a fondness in his tone, in how he describes it all. He says he was flattered and prized. It made her reconsider that assumption.​

 

[Lionsnarl]

"GIRL, YOU'RE A DIME, I'M A DIAMOND"​

So many questions. He pauses to take in all of her queries, wondering vaguely if there were anybody else he could unload this annoying little sprout off to, but alas. He is the one she has chosen to bother. He settles down into a loafing position and tucks his oddly petite paws into himself. His ears are angled forward, giving the child his full attention. It's not so bad, he allows himself, it's not completely day-ruining to watch how the littler one processes a life she could only imagine.

"I had a kingdom that was all my own. I had mice of all shapes and colors that I could tear apart as I wished. I had things to climb so I would be perched high in my nest, wooden things that shined like river stones." Like the grandfather cloak, a sturdy oak piece that had been carved specifically for his humans for their second anniversary. A wistful smile plays at the corner of his muzzle as the memory of it trickles into the fore-front of his mind. "When I competed, I was called the King of Persia. I was royalty among rodents. We weren't fighting like you think, we didn't have any need for claws or teeth, but I was the best."

Rum-Tum-Tugger, WHP's King of Persia, Best in Class. Best in Show. Best in Breed. Grand Champion two years in a row. He had been marvelous - no! - he had been legendary.

Did you like it better than living out here?

With a very distinct feeling, as if the air was being deflating from his chest, he is brought back down to the present. Back to the pine forest where they resided. Did he actually miss it? Did he miss the ring, the queens, the praise and the adoration? Did he miss walking into a room, knowing that every head was trained on him because he was the main attraction?

"No. I've found my purpose here. With Rain. This is my home, this is my family. Our family." A genuine smile is present an his flat face now. It's a soft, easy expression that suits him well despite his usually sour moods. My family. Yes, that was right. Something more important than a crown, than a ribbon, than a title. A sense of purpose. That is what he had found with Rain and he wouldn't give it up for anything.​

✦ ★ ✦​

 

[emberstar]

HANGING ONTO HOPE​

Each and every word was met with an eager nod. His words painted a picture of grandeur she had never imagined for the life of a kittypet. She knew it was a life of luxury, but she had imagined more simple, lazy luxuries. Something more befitting the life of captivity her mother had described to her. Not the kingdom to rule that had been illustrated for her. Swept up in his excitement, she was lifted to the same heights. She practically bounced in place as she imagined it all, all the wonders his descriptions held for her. Her paws shuffling beneath her.

So she felt it to, when he came back down. Experienced the precipitous fall back to reality. Her movement stilled. Her gaze drifted away from him. She felt suddenly certain of his answer; he had liked it better. How could he not have? He had been treated like royalty, he had titles and talent. Friends and lovers and all manner of company. There had been everything he could ever want and more. Now he had... what? A few friendly faces and whatever prey he could catch with his own two paws? It wasn't even a choice.

And yet...

Ember's eyes alight anew at his answer. At the words our family. "Aww, ya big softie!" she exclaimed, jumping to her paws and brushing up against the larger tom affectionately. Giggles burst forth from her. She couldn't contain herself anymore.​

 

[Lionsnarl]

"GIRL, YOU'RE A DIME, I'M A DIAMOND"​

Tugger's expression slipped from soft to disgusted in a nanosecond, his already-scrunched nose twisting is dismay at the physical closeness of the child. "Ack! Away, away." He attempted to shoo her away with one delicate paw, flipping it in her face almost petulantly.

"No need for all of your gross emotion stuff." The ginger king growled, though his ears stayed upright and every hair on his body laid as perfectly as they always did. He did not reciprocate, but the smallest hint of a purr rose in his throat. Despite his thorny tongue and cold exterior, Tugger was still a cat at the end of the day and cats craved closeness, affection, and community more than they craved a warm mouse between their teeth. It was nice to have a member of your community be comfortable with you, even if the ginger king loathed to admit it.

He knew enough about Ember's past to not care to inquire about it. He had seen her induction, of course, but perhaps there was still something he could glean from her barrage. "Why do you ask?"​

✦ ★ ✦​

 

[emberstar]

HANGING ONTO HOPE​

Ember shuffled back as she was shooed away, still giggling. Her amusement only growing as he chided her for her outburst. He was so funny. Chastising her for being emotional when moments ago he had been consumed by sentiment. Besides, she heard the purr he tried to stifle, and it made her smile grow all the wider. "Whatever ya say big guy!" she told him with a laugh, shaking her head.

Now though, it appeared it was her turn to answer a question. Her answer, she feared, was going to be of little interest compared to what he had just told her. "Just curious about what it was like." She shrugged. "I mean, it's still so weird to think that any of ya used to be kittypets. When my mom told me about that life, she didn't make it sound like something you just... walked away from." It had always sounded so final. Like if she ever made the decision to leave the wild for the comfort of twolegplace then she would never return. Yet Tugger had done just that, hadn't he? He had walked between two worlds as though it were nothing.​

 

[Lionsnarl]

"GIRL, YOU'RE A DIME, I'M A DIAMOND"​

"I suppose I'm a special case."
Tugger meowed softly, suddenly much less comfortable with this conversation than he was a moment ago. Despite what he may have others believe, he hadn't just walked away from his home. He hadn't willingly given up his kingdom, his queens, his ribbons, his titles. They had been ripped away from him. He kept his collar in memoriam of the family he lost, not because of any fashion statement.

He peers down at the silken collar now. His tags had since been lost to the wilderness, the gold of his name-badge now tarnished from months of laying in dirt - or wherever they lay.
"Your mother was a smart woman." ​

✦ ★ ✦​

 

[emberstar]

HANGING ONTO HOPE​

"Your mother was a smart woman."

Her grin was wide and immediate, her previous curiosity wholly forgotten to her. "Yeah she was!" Ember declared proudly, entirely oblivious to her friend's sudden melancholy. She was entirely caught up in her own world, a faraway look in her eye as she recalled those days. "Too clever for me for sure! Don't tell her I said that though, I'd never hear the end of it!" she laughed, giving Tugger a nudge.

"It's true though. You could tell just by talking to her. Her jokes were so quick that I could barely keep up!" her words were quick, blurring into each other in their enthusiasm. "And don't even get me started on our sparring!" she bounced on her paws, her excitement overflowing. The memory of her mother came alive in her mind, so much larger than life from the eyes of her younger self. How impossible a challenge facing her had seemed. "Even though I was younger and faster, and even after she taught me everything, I never beat her once. Every time she'd figure out exactly what I was going to do and be ready for it before I even started moving." She let out a sigh of breathless awe. "It was amazing."

Her energy faded. The memory waned. She tried to smile nonetheless.

"Wish you coulda met her." Ember told him simply, glancing over. "Wish everyone coulda. She would have liked having a bigger family, I think."​