oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one - blaze

[Howlfire]

It was her father's suggestion they get out of camp for a little while Howlfire was loath to leave, having spent much of her spare time flitting out of the medicine den, fretting over her recovering kits, and trying not to step on the paws of the medicine cats. The scent of herbs clings to her now, not as strong as the scent that follows the medicine cats, but still notable.

She wasn't sure what Blazestar planned on doing now that they were out here, but she was glad to be in his company regardless. Even if the incident with her children lingered like a dark cloud, the short time away was enough to let her mind wander to other things. As they walked, Blazestar pulled ahead, muttering something in his wake that she didn't quite catch. Howlfire hung back a bit, amber eyes watching him as he went. Once, her father had seemed like a giant, at least four times the size of her in her kit-sized opinion. Now, they were not so different in height, with Howlfire only a little smaller than he was. Despite the many tragedies that had marred both their lives, both managed to carry on and move forward but Blazestar had seemed particularly fatigued since the fox attack he had survived. He seemed suddenly older and more weary. Howlfire had never feared her father dying much before until she looked at him now. She frowns to herself subconsciously, before something is said to her that snaps her out of her wandering thoughts. "Sorry, I didn't hear you," Howlfire said sheepishly, meeting her father's blue eyes. "What did you say?"

@BLAZESTAR ​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Despite the guilt that clings to his fur, Blazestar finds he’s enjoying the sun on his pelt and in his eyes, enjoying the leafbare wind that tugs at their coats and tails. He wonders, even as they chat, even as Howlfire’s amber eyes burn into him like the sun that gleams above, if she is disappointed in him—if she puts the blame at his paws, the wounds her children bear on his shoulders, as he does. Blazestar wants to ask her, wants to know—but he cannot bear to bring it up. Instead, he asks her an innocent enough question. His daughter looks as distant and troubled as she had before that awful newleaf she’d gone missing, taken away by Twolegs.

When she looks up, he’s almost startled by the shape of her eyes, the slopes in her face and nose. How she still reminds him of Little Wolf. “I said, ‘feather for your thoughts?’” Blazestar smiles gently and headbutts his daughter’s shoulder. “You’re all over the place today, Little Howl. Come back down to the forest… I need you more than the sky does.” It’s an innocent jest, but it’s weighted, heavy.

, ”​

​

 

[Howlfire]

"Just thinking about things," Howlfire responds breezily, smiling back at her father. His question is innocent enough, but it feels like there was more meaning there that wasn't immediately obvious. "There's been a lot going on lately in my life, it feels nice just to get away from things for a moment or two." That wasn't to say she particularly enjoyed being away from her kits so long, but it was better than sitting there worrying, constantly going over in her mind what she could have potentially done.

"It's nice to spend time with you too," Howlfire added, a warm spark returning to her features. "Feels like seasons have passed since we spent time together." Of course, they were always present in each other's lives, but spending time just as father and daughter had been harder and harder as of late. "I miss coming into your den and keeping you company," She paused, chuckling at the memory. Distantly she is reminded of the fact that one of her reasonings for joining SkyClan was so that her father wouldn't be lonely in that big den of his. "Do you think we'd all fit in there? Me, you, Fireflypaw, and the kits?"​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar smiles at her, though it’s worn at the edges, faded like a well-traveled bit of leather. “I’ve missed just spending time with you, too,” he murmurs. He reaches a paw to the top of her head, mussing the fur there just as he had when she’d been smaller than her own kits. Earthen brown and cream ruffle softly beneath his pads, parting like silk threads—it’s the same texture as his own pelt, as familiar as running a tongue down his flank. “You’ve grown into such a fine young warrior, Howlfire. I could not have asked StarClan for more. I’m blessed to have you and Fireflypaw both.” He leans closer, aiming to bump his shoulder against hers.

After a moment, he says, “Burnstorm, Moonwhisper, Skyclaw, and Duskbird, too. Try not to shut them out entirely—I know some of that’s my fault, but blood is blood.” His smile thins again, almost a ghost of an expression, but he continues walking. Her inquiry is light-hearted, bringing laughter to his lips.

“Your kits are growing fast! They’ll be as big as you in a moon, and as big as Fireflypaw and I in one more,” he purrs. “My little den never stood a chance.” And he thinks—what about the kits Bobbie harbors inside her belly now? He glances at his daughter, clearing his throat. “And besides, there are more joining us soon. My den will be fit to bursting.”

, ”​

​

 

[Howlfire]

Howlfire feels a rush of pride when her father compliments the fine warrior she had become. Although she was not the only cat to have had multiple mentors, though she considered herself blessed to have trained under the watchful eyes of Little Wolf, Redstorm, and Slate. At the mention of her siblings, Howlfire flinches slightly, but it is only brief. "I wouldn't blame you," Howlfire says quickly. Perhaps it is her bias speaking but she believes it to be true. "But I will try," She says in an honest tone. "I know there is bad blood between me and my ThunderClan siblings - some of which I take the blame for - but I will always love them deep down in my heart." Or rather she loves the ghost of them, the children they used to be, but she does not say this out loud.

"I'm not sure how poor Coyotecrest will cope soon," Howlfire joked, making light of his situation. Coyotecrest was by no means small but she was slightly taller than him and if their kits truly did wind up taking after her, the poor tom would be doomed. At the mention of Bobbie's impending litter, Howlfire smiles. She's still a little unsure how to feel about it but she's happy for her father and Bobbie regardless. She's excited to fawn over her younger siblings too - something she missed out with for Skyclaw and Duskbird. "Are you nervous about the kits?" Howlfire asks, looking up at her father. "I know it's not yours or Bobbie's first litter but you must be a little nervous, right?" And then in a lighter tone she adds, "Do you have any names in mind already?"​