- Jun 1, 2023
- 53
- 7
- 8
She picks through the medicine den on the way to see her daughter, trying her very best to remain quiet and respectful of the other patients. She's mostly staring at her paws, but when her eyes flicker up to spy the path shes taking... They land on a child she had not talked to in a while. Her heart seizes, only just for a second. He's bandaged, much to the chagrin of Gentlestorm... She heard his yelling about something, and now the puzzle pieces begin to click in to place.
He was yelling about Wrathpaw.
"What did you do?" her voice starts a cracked whisper, lip quivering as she tilts her chin upwards and blinks away the tears that threaten to spill. She thinks to Tigerpaw, bloodied, bruised and scarred. She thinks of Rabbitnose, buried beneath with his mate, her friend- Sunfreckle must be rolling in his grave. She thinks of Freckleflame, left without either of her fathers now because of Skyclaw. And Pebblestep, and Cobwebtail, and Ploverhop, and... And.... A brown tabby is flung from highrock and she can see herself out of her body, eyes wide, jaws parted in a silent screech. She hears a sickening thud. A body is splayed out unnaturally. Her throat feels too dry, now, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.
An exhale leaves her body, a desperate attempt to calm her breathing. When she closes her eyes again, she sees a flash of red tabby at her flank, of soft blue eyes that look up to her. The innocence of a baby boy with his whole life ahead of him, the innocence soon ripped to shreds right in front of her.
She shakes her head, screwing her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block the memories out as she takes a step backwards- Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my- "What were you thinking!? Answer me!" her voice is a sudden bark with too much emotion as she draws upwards, regaining the step she lost previously. She stands in front of him not as a caretaker, but as an angry mother. Claws dig in to the earth below. She thinks of Fallowbite and her chest tightens. "I did not raise you like this," she didn't raise Fallowbite like this, either, and for a second she thinks of chewing it out as well. But... It had never really liked her, dropped off its siblings and left her behind. Her stomach twists and turns and she wants to do nothing more than scream. "I did not raise you to raise your claws against your clanmates, you he- hear me?" her voice wobbles and cracks, splinters right in front of him as she bends and breaks.
He is still the child she had helped foster. He is still that baby boy with too-wide of eyes, too curious for his own good. "Wrathpaw..." her voice is now more mourning, a keen for what once was. Who put those thoughts in to your head? She looks away. Was it Skyclaw himself? Was it someone else? She regrets not doing more. She regrets not seeing the signs, too wrapped in her own grief over Coalkit, over Rainkit and Littlekit. Maybe if she had paid more attention, given more of her time, her love, dedicated patience where it was needed... Maybe Wrathpaw wouldn't have turned out like this, maybe Fallowbite would not have followed as well.
Her shuddering breath is enough to push her over the edge, silent tears dripping from her muzzle. They splash against her paws, remind her that this is real, that it wasn't just a dream. Wrathpaw is still there, scored by Stormywings claws. He is still there, and the atrocities he committed are still real, as much as she could pray to Starclan to undo them. "Why?" she croaks at last. Why did you throw everything away? Why would you do this? Why did you deem your clanmates undeserving, why did you kill? Her head racks itself for logical answers. Manipulated, used, maybe he was threatened? Was this willing? Were you happy to hurt them? Why would you do this? Why, why, why, why?
He was yelling about Wrathpaw.
"What did you do?" her voice starts a cracked whisper, lip quivering as she tilts her chin upwards and blinks away the tears that threaten to spill. She thinks to Tigerpaw, bloodied, bruised and scarred. She thinks of Rabbitnose, buried beneath with his mate, her friend- Sunfreckle must be rolling in his grave. She thinks of Freckleflame, left without either of her fathers now because of Skyclaw. And Pebblestep, and Cobwebtail, and Ploverhop, and... And.... A brown tabby is flung from highrock and she can see herself out of her body, eyes wide, jaws parted in a silent screech. She hears a sickening thud. A body is splayed out unnaturally. Her throat feels too dry, now, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.
An exhale leaves her body, a desperate attempt to calm her breathing. When she closes her eyes again, she sees a flash of red tabby at her flank, of soft blue eyes that look up to her. The innocence of a baby boy with his whole life ahead of him, the innocence soon ripped to shreds right in front of her.
She shakes her head, screwing her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block the memories out as she takes a step backwards- Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my- "What were you thinking!? Answer me!" her voice is a sudden bark with too much emotion as she draws upwards, regaining the step she lost previously. She stands in front of him not as a caretaker, but as an angry mother. Claws dig in to the earth below. She thinks of Fallowbite and her chest tightens. "I did not raise you like this," she didn't raise Fallowbite like this, either, and for a second she thinks of chewing it out as well. But... It had never really liked her, dropped off its siblings and left her behind. Her stomach twists and turns and she wants to do nothing more than scream. "I did not raise you to raise your claws against your clanmates, you he- hear me?" her voice wobbles and cracks, splinters right in front of him as she bends and breaks.
He is still the child she had helped foster. He is still that baby boy with too-wide of eyes, too curious for his own good. "Wrathpaw..." her voice is now more mourning, a keen for what once was. Who put those thoughts in to your head? She looks away. Was it Skyclaw himself? Was it someone else? She regrets not doing more. She regrets not seeing the signs, too wrapped in her own grief over Coalkit, over Rainkit and Littlekit. Maybe if she had paid more attention, given more of her time, her love, dedicated patience where it was needed... Maybe Wrathpaw wouldn't have turned out like this, maybe Fallowbite would not have followed as well.
Her shuddering breath is enough to push her over the edge, silent tears dripping from her muzzle. They splash against her paws, remind her that this is real, that it wasn't just a dream. Wrathpaw is still there, scored by Stormywings claws. He is still there, and the atrocities he committed are still real, as much as she could pray to Starclan to undo them. "Why?" she croaks at last. Why did you throw everything away? Why would you do this? Why did you deem your clanmates undeserving, why did you kill? Her head racks itself for logical answers. Manipulated, used, maybe he was threatened? Was this willing? Were you happy to hurt them? Why would you do this? Why, why, why, why?
- @WRATHHOWL
-
❥ tansyshine ʚ♡ɞ
tansy
❥ cis female ʚ♡ɞ she/her ʚ♡ɞ 47 months
❥ thunderclan permaqueen ʚ♡ɞ current care
❥ cinnamon she-cat with ice blue eyes ʚ♡ɞ fluffy & loving
❥ "speech, 89678b" ʚ♡ɞ thoughts
❥ mates with lily pad ʚ♡ɞ bisexual
❥ smells like freshly pressed flowers, moss & milk ʚ♡ɞ floral & loving
❥ penned by chuff