private ONCE LOVED, ONCE LOST - robinheart

[FIREFROST.]

Firefrost was not the only who had lost their love. He was not the first, nor would he bethe last, to do so. But it did not make the pain go away. Does not ease the fears of raising a little alone.

The morning sickness had gotten worse since the first time he got sick, and so he sought out the medicine cat apprentice, Robinheart. She, too had lost her mate and had kits of her own as well. One of whom had recently departed as well. With Willowroot and Poppysplash's deaths, it felt that tragedy was creeping up on them, and in a way, he felt paranoid about the newleaf to come.

The tortoiseshell took in a deep breath as he entered the medicine den, eyes landing the one he sought. "Robinheart," he greeted, feather tail brushing against the ground. "I... you're both a medicine cat apprentice and a mother, so I figured I'd ask you first. My stomach won't settle. Do you know if there's anything I can do so it isn't so unbearable?"

There was more Firefrost wanted to say, to ask, but not yet. Bloomheart always said to take things one step at a time. He was wise like that. He always knew what to say.

The thought of him makes Firefrost tremble and hold back emotions from overflowing.​

I'VE SPENT SO MUCH TIME JUST ✹ MAKING MY WAY INTO THE FUTURE

• OOC: @robinheart
  
  "Speech."​
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  He/Him | 18 Moons | Warrior of RiverClan | Ages on the 1st
  
  Long haired tortoiseshell tom with high white and icy blue eyes
  
  Son of Softwhisper x Clawscratch | Littermate to TBD
  
  Former mate to [Bloomheart | Mentoring no one | Mentored by Marigoldglow
  
  Penned by AnemoVictorious | Biography | Image Credit​
  ​

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[robinheart]

She believes herself tested by the trials thrown her way. To have loved a mate taken much too soon. To have raised and adored a child ripped from her bosom in the same manner as her mate. To have grown close to a mentor and adoptive aunt figure only to have them sacrifice themself for her.

Perhaps cursed is a better term than tested?

Named for her tender heart, Robinheart has unfortunately grown to used to the crack and ache of the gentle organ within her chest. Yet it continues to beat day after day, hour after hour. Her time has not yet come to be taken into Starclan's embrace. There has to be a reason for that… a reason for her to stay behind when her loved ones leave.

Healing.

The tortoiseshell's purpose and duty is to heal, even as she unravels. It is something she grows better at day by day (healing? or hiding the way she unravels?), lessons learned and patients tended to. Robinheart is finishing sorting the bundles of alder bark she had recently collected with a few apprentices and Moonbeam when Firefrost enters the medicine den. Already the medicine cat apprentice's heart pangs for the warrior – a copy of who she had been almost a full year ago. "Firefrost," she greets in return, a subtle newleaf warmth caressing her tone as she directs him to a spare nest for comfort. Her ears angle back ever so slightly as he continues, asking for advice that she can give not only as a medicine cat apprentice but as a mother. "I found that frequently sips of water helped, as well as smaller meals eaten often. An empty stomach will unsettle quickly whereas a comfortably filled belly will remain relatively stable," she explains, citrine gaze soft as it drifts over Firefrost's visage before glancing at the herb stores. "I am still learning the uses of our stores, so if you were hoping for an herbal remedy I would recommend seeking Moonbeam… I-I wouldn't want to accidentally…" Robinheart's words fizzle out and she looks back to the tortoiseshell apologetically, her face falling even more as she notices the swirling emotions behind his eyes and the tremble of his body.

"It's hard to stay strong, Firefrost. I will not fault you for feeling your emotions. Please do not hold them back on my behalf… I am here for whatever you need."​

[ penned by kerms ]​

 

[FIREFROST.]

"Thank you."

It was a soft whisper that left Firefrost's mouth, somewhat choked up. For the advice, for the support. For everything. Perhaps this kittens were a blessing in disguise, Bloomheart's final way of telling him he truly wasn't alone. Even if he was scared, terrified of making mistakes.

In a different way, Robinheart was scared too. Her mistakes could be lethal, so it was only right for her to want to be safe. To be careful. Firefrost couldn't fault her for that. If he were her, he would probably feel the same way.

Would he have felt the same way when Bloomheart was still alive? If anything, his grief had given him a new perspective on things.

Taking in a sharp breath, Firefrost found his words once again, forcing himself to get out of his head. "I'll try that, and if it doesn't work, I'll see if Moonbeam knows any herbs that can help. And... I really appreciate this. It's... a lot. I know that it's a lot for you too, with everything. Is it your duties that help you to rise? That's... what it was for me. Why I threw myself into patrols and such. It was all I could do to... help in my own way, I suppose."

He wanted to mirror what Robinheart was telling him. Firefrost was not alone, and neither was she, because he so desperately wanted to return the kindness she was showing him. Maybe it was a small step to regaining his footing as his true self, the one who always took the time to help the younger cats in the Clan. But not just them, this time. If Firefrost could learn anything from his departed mate, he hoped it would be the way he was always there for anyone and everyone, no matter what.​

I'VE SPENT SO MUCH TIME JUST ✹ MAKING MY WAY INTO THE FUTURE

• OOC: Here
  
  "Speech."​
•  
• 

  

  He/Him | 18 Moons | Warrior of RiverClan | Ages on the 1st
  
  Long haired tortoiseshell tom with high white and icy blue eyes
  
  Son of Softwhisper x Clawscratch | Littermate to TBD
  
  Former mate to [Bloomheart | Mentoring no one | Mentored by Marigoldglow
  
  Penned by AnemoVictorious | Biography | Image Credit​
  ​

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