only as good as my god ✩ cada jr

[Cricketchirp]

————— ✩ —————
AND POINTED SKYWARDS

Cicadakit is a problem that Starlightkit is determined to solve. He's nowhere near as lively as he should be; Starlightkit themself is practically brimming with energy, stardust humming through their veins and spilling through their teeth, pulling them ever-further into the outside world, demanding its brightness be shared, be seen. Demanding that it sees, knows, searching for something that they cannot name and are not sure if they ever will.

But Cicadakit. Oh, Cicadakit.

He carries light within him, of this they are sure, it is clear in the split of his face, the colors of his eyes, the name which he wears with such hesitance. There's no need for any of that hesitance, when Starlightkit knows he could shine just as brightly as she does. If he'd just show them, show everyone, stop clutching that greatness to himself like a treasure he's desperate to hide. They give him an easy smile as they duck into his hiding spot, eyes widening in the dim of the willow roots. Move forward, crowding closer, prod at his unmoving form with a paw.

"Cicadakit. Hey, Cicadakit," he says, in lilting melody. "C'mon, Beekit's playing with some of the other kits and it'll be more fun if we've there's more cats there. You have to come join." She just prods at him again. "It'll be good for you, and the other kits wanna see you, they're all curious since we can leave the nest now," she rambles on when he doesn't respond immediately, thoughts pouring straight from her mouth without any conscious input. An attempt at convincing, if he were thoughtful enough to do such a thing. But Cicadakit shouldn't need convincing, that's the problem.

She just doesn't get how Cicadakit could want to stay cooped up in here when there's so much to see. At least she's got an excuse, with her eyes hurting at all, but she's going out anyway. He should, too.

SCRAPE THE HEAVENS !
————— ✩ —————

₊°✩ info ; visual

• // @CICADAKIT
  ​
• STARLIGHTKIT named for faith and for the star-like mark on her forehead.
  — he/him, she/her, they/them. 2 moons.
  — riverclan kit. smokethroat x cicadastar
  — twitchy and strange, with boundless curiosity.
  
  penned by saturnid.​
• "SPEECH"
  ​
• 

​

 

[CICADAFLIGHT]

✦₊ ⊹—— he has just been freed from the willow den's confines and yet he returns to it, hiding in the pleasant darkness of the den nestled in the roots of the willow. camp makes his teeth ache, his head hurt, the round notches of his spine jut out in unsure posture. camp is full of prickling eyes resting on his glaring blue eye, on the white patch of fur stretched across his muzzle like half a skull, making him want to pull the distinctive marking off his pelt until he's nothing but black fur, until he's nothing but another shadow pooled beneath the willow den. between its roots is his last sanctuary, the only place his screaming, smoking mind cools to a buzz, the only place where he stops thinking himself into circles until there's nothing left.

it's interrupted. of course it is, he thinks unhappily. and of course it's starlightkit, shoving her star-blessed face between the willow's roots, bright glimmering eyes visible in the gloom past the curtain of curls he uses to shield his face. they're smiling at him, sing-songing at him, and he hates it and it makes him want to hurt. makes him dig tiny claws into the moss beneath him, shying away from them even as they poke at him with one paw. starlightkit keeps prodding him, keeps talking too loudly and asking too much, rambling on and on and on until he wants to scream his throat raw. they're wheedling, convincing, practically dragging him out of the den as he and beekit have been doing to him ever since they were allowed out, pulling him from game to game until he thought he might simply tear into two.

"i don't wanna," he grumbles sourly, acid licking at his throat until it hurts and he wants to spit it back into starlightkit's face, pressing his teeth together, small claws shredding at the moss. it's as though all the sounds and smells and too-many-sights of the day are biting at him a million times until he just wants to scream, to flail, to hurt.

he doesn't, though, just mutters, "i don't wanna. leave me alone, starlightkit."

I AM GOD (✦) 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝒀𝑬𝑫

• ooc: ——
  
• disclaimer: it's important to note that cicadakit is not always in a stable state of mind. his view of the world may not always be accurate to objective reality, which may include seeing things that are not genuinely there, reading motivations or thoughts from actions that are not actually implied, and making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. this is not an attempt at metagaming, powerplaying, or mischaracterization, and is not legitimately true or correct to reality or what your characters actually think or believe.
  
  it will always be noted in the post if he is seeing something that isn't actually there. all opinions & thoughts are ic only and do not reflect my thoughts and opinions as a writer.
• 
  — cicadakit
  — he/him ; kit of riverclan ; 2 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by dejavu
  

​

 

[Cricketchirp]

————— ✩ —————
AND POINTED SKYWARDS

Starlightkit blinks in response to their brother's words for a moment, processing. Rejection. Not their first taste of it, but the denial of dimness to clear the stinging in their eyes was a different matter. A matter of impossibility, of can't, not won't. Not don't want to. His grin falls and he freezes for a moment, statue-still. That liveliness falls away, frozen in time and waiting to be retrieved once again. This is new. Rejection is new. She doesn't think she likes the feeling of it.

And then the movement returns: a flick of their ear, a tick of their head to the side. The grin does not return, yet. She examines her brother anew, eyes sharp and questioning. Almost cold. "You don't wanna," she parrots in a toneless warble. "You don't wanna, you don't wanna, you don't wanna." Trying out the phrase on her tongue, rolling it over in her mouth — in her mind — to make sense of it. It sounds like mocking. It isn't.

Cicadakit is a problem that Starlightkit is determined to solve.

A renewed grin of sharp milk-teeth alights the face of the small kitten as he moves close, too close, to Cicadakit's face. Peering under his mess of curls into those mismatched eyes, as if searching for some secret there.

"But that's not right, Cicadakit," he says, softer now, a note of confusion mixing with a note of pleading. "You should wanna," he explains, patient as a saint. Cicadakit's not doing it right, this whole being a kit thing. "You should want to play, because playing is more fun than staying in here. There's so much to do out there, and so much to see, and so many cats who wanna see you, and don'tcha wanna come out? Please?" He gives a little pout now.

And, softer, whinier: "C'mon, Cada." She draws on the nickname Beekit has given their brother, eyes big and pleading. She does not draw back. She does not leave him alone, does not even grace the request with a response.

SCRAPE THE HEAVENS !
————— ✩ —————

₊°✩ info ; visual

• //
  ​
• STARLIGHTKIT named for faith and for the star-like mark on her forehead.
  — he/him, she/her, they/them. 2 moons.
  — riverclan kit. smokethroat x cicadastar
  — twitchy and strange, with boundless curiosity.
  
  penned by saturnid.​
• "SPEECH"
  ​
• 

​

 

[CICADAFLIGHT]

✦₊ ⊹—— they won't leave him alone, though, closer, a warm moving body that's too close and too loud and too much, far too much. starlightkit is a glittering thing, a sparkling creature to be turned on a pedestal for others to admire, starlightkit is a bright child who oversees kitten games and greets clanmates. starlightkit is the river's surface, bright and gleaming and inviting; cicadakit is its depths, buried in mud and reeds, eyes dark with silt, an oozing bed of sand that others seem compelled to disturb. his sibling's cheered grin falls away for a moment, and it's a dull curled cruelty in his chest, a pleasure at the way he's made them feel.

it doesn't last forever, of course, and she's lurching closer, sing-songing sharp on his ears, poking fun. he wants to scramble backwards but he can feel the den wall digging into his skinny hips, so he crouches still, eyes glimmering hateful beneath the shadow of fur. he loves starlightkit but he doesn't like them in this moment, pulling at him until he bleeds, treating him like something to be fixed. they grin again, lurch closer, shoving their smoke-furred face into his, that blessed star-shape gleaming pallid and evil on her brow.

she's too close, making his thoughts too loud, making them press into his temples and his jaw until he thinks he'll simply burst into a rattling pile of bones. making words he should use, use your words, lodge in his throat like thorns and snag in his tender flesh. starlightkit is pouting and whining and deep down he knows he should feel bad, he should stop, but before he knows what he's doing he's aiming a hard clawless slap across their face, silent except for his rasping breath.

I AM GOD (✦) 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝒀𝑬𝑫

• ooc: this is SO LATE SORRY!!!!
  
• disclaimer: it's important to note that cicadakit is not always in a stable state of mind. his view of the world may not always be accurate to objective reality, which may include seeing things that are not genuinely there, reading motivations or thoughts from actions that are not actually implied, and making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. this is not an attempt at metagaming, powerplaying, or mischaracterization, and is not legitimately true or correct to reality or what your characters actually think or believe.
  
  it will always be noted in the post if he is seeing something that isn't actually there. all opinions & thoughts are ic only and do not reflect my thoughts and opinions as a writer.
• 
  — cicadakit
  — he/him ; kit of riverclan ; 2 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by dejavu
  

​

 

[Cricketchirp]

————— ✩ —————
AND POINTED SKYWARDS

Starlightkit is not one for restraint. She pushes and pushes, flying closer and closer to the sun. A bright and burning child, blinding in their brilliance. She is used to burning, not to being burned. It is a new sensation, too, the pain which scorches their muzzle. Their brother's paw, clawless but painful, snapping their head to the side. Their whole body jerks in reaction; over-reaction, perhaps, stumbling away with eyes blown wide.

The shape before Starlightkit morphs, bright eyes gleaming monstrous from their hollow of shaggy fur. They were so close, mere moments ago, and they knew him, but now Cicadakit appears a shadowed thing. His breaths come loud in the quiet that follows, rattle-rasp of a bony and misshapen creature. He hides from the light they can feel burning at their back, in the hollow of their chest. He is different from them.

Starlightkit's face twists unpleasantly, blinking down at the skeletal form before her. "Fine," she sneers, something hollow in the word. Her face twitches, phantom pain lingering in his cheek. She was only trying to help. He just doesn't get it.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I understand. Just stay in here, if you're gonna be like that," spills venomous from her tongue. She meets his anger with hers in equal, and it feels good. "I don't care. I'm going, with you or not. See you, Cicadakit," Or not, a petty voice wants to add, but refrains. He turns quickly, eyes blinking away tears at the sudden bloom of sunlight-pain. If Cicadakit wants to be a coward now, he can.

They can solve the problem of Cicadakit another day; he's not getting rid of them that easily. He just caught them off guard.

SCRAPE THE HEAVENS !
————— ✩ —————

₊°✩ info ; visual

• // out!! this is even later but i didn't want to leave the thread unfinished </3
  ​
• STARLIGHTKIT named for faith and for the star-like mark on her forehead.
  — he/him, she/her, they/them. 2 moons.
  — riverclan kit. smokethroat x cicadastar
  — proud and strange, with boundless curiosity.
  
  penned by saturnid.​
• "SPEECH"
  ​
• 

​