- Aug 17, 2022
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Was he named after something deadly? The chill was killing the flowers and causing the trees to weep their leaves away into brittle sunset tides; he watched the world gray and crack beneath the approaching cold and wondered if he was supposed to like the snow. He'd never seen it, it was just a word for him right now and a name his mother gave him so surely it was not meant to be demeaning but he could not help but feel like the freeze was deeper than the surface of his pale coat. Would it be the same dappled colors as he was? Or was it a flawless expanse of white as he heard it might be? Snowpaw didn't know, but his excitement at the first snow was dampened by everything happening around them. Death was strange.
Cats spoke about StarClan like it was the best thing in the world yet when someone was whisked away to join they were not quite as enthused, if the place was so great why were they all here? What was the worth of living when paradise lay just beyond the skyline and was alarmingly easy to reach. He could get there right now actually, from his lofty perch high into the great pine trees of the territory he could see the world as a mosaic of colors below and a tilt of his head upward put him into the clouds. Snowpaw needed to only step from his branch and he'd be where Leopardcloud had gone, where Haze was at...
Why do we mourn the loss of life when their future is far brighter than the stars of which they join? Maybe...StarClan was boring. Maybe eternal paradise was just a sham. After all, it didn't appeal to him so he remained seated on his branch with his golden gaze fixated up. Peace was mindnumbing, he could barely stand being stuck in camp as a kitten, he couldn't imagine what it was like to be in an eternal confinement within the shimmer of the night sky. It would drive him mad. Maybe he should force himself to live as long as possible to avoid it.
Snowpaw shifted his weight to begin climbing down only to lose his footing with a misplaced paw and flip backwards off his current branch onto the one directly below it with a sharp noise of pain as his abdomen was pressed forcefully into the bark; he didn't go to move again yet, slung over the branch like a limp bit of prey before grimacing and readjusting himself to stand more steadily.
He had to stop daydreaming this high...