development Overwhelmed || o. Nervous thoughts

[Fawnpaw~]

[ ༻ 𓆩✧𓆪 ༺ ] It didn't take long for Fawn to realize how much he has overgrown from the nursery, he was much bigger than most of the kits and wasn't that small meak boy the clan had brought in when his mother had passed trying to get him to safely. Sitting by the nursery the boy seemed dazed while his thoughts trailed to apprenticeship, claws digging into the cold snow below him while his fluffy tail wrapped around his paws. He wondered who he would get as a mentor, could it be someone with a high stature like one of the lead warriors? Or one of the warriors that he's seen around a lot. His chest feeling heavy while he scanned the clearing, words becoming loud within his head, filled with what ifs and who? A frown tucked gently onto Fawnkits lips before shaking his head. Couldn't he stay a kit just a bit longer? Did he really want to be an apprentice?

What if he failed the clan? Would they see him as worthless? Those thoughts kept echoing in his mind before a soft sigh slipped from his maw and looked down to his paws. Others seemed to have been eager to become apprentices, even the kits younger than him seemed eager to join the ranks as they played amongst themselves, dreaming on how their futures would be. Yet, perhaps those nervous thoughts came from the fact that his mother was not there to be an encouragement, or to the fact that even with the queen's gentle nudges or warm words, Fawnkit still hated the idea of apprenticeship. He wasn't clan-born like many of his denmates were, but some of his clanmates were also kitty-pets and seemed to do just fine as warriors.

Tilting his head slightly, perhaps this lingering dread feeling he got was from him not wanting to grow up. He liked the comfort of the nursery after all. He didn't realize it until too late, the words he thought of coming out like a soft warm summer breeze, "What if a kit didn't want to be an apprentice?" bi-color gaze blinking before ears flattened against his skull and a nervous laughter came from his chest. "I mean... like.. is it normal to be so nervous? And like... I don't know are apprentices who gets paired with like... a lead warrior or even Twitchbolt or Orangestar expected more of? And what if their apprentices fail or arent good enough, you know?" his questions slipped eith ease from his maw to whichever passerby had come close, having not looking up from his paws.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── You can t be caught you ll never fall ──┐‎

• "speak""Thoughts"
• 
  Fawnkit 𓆩✧𓆪 He/Him, Kit of Skyclan, 5 moons.
  ⭃ Fluffy Fawn with low white with bi-colored eyes (Blue and Yellow)
  ⭃ NPC x NPC
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by Ryn ↛ @/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

​

Tldr: Fawns just nervous about becoming an apprentice </3 ))

 

[Chickbloom]

Chickbloom was well-acquainted with fear. The whelp felt its presence every day, each paw step given its own echo as the specter followed close behind. By that same token, though, the coward found camaraderie with those who seemed haunted by the same spirit. Twitchbolt, Tallstep, Butterflytuft…and now the orphaned deer, petrified at the way of the world.

"I was - I k-know I was nervous when I joined Skyclan." The baby bird offered Fawnkit, stepping forwards (Though mindful to stay away from the nursery entrance). Their upbringing couldn't be more different, but Chickbloom wanted to help the tiny tom. "So, I think it's - y'know - normal. Every c-cat here has felt the same nerves, s-so your - um - I t-think whoever your mentor is, they'll understand, y'know?"

Chickbloom wasn't sure that applied to every cat in skyclan, but the worrywart had enough social sense to not speak those fears aloud. "You - You won't be any good at the start - I wasn't - a-and no one is, so -" The skittish Scottish Fold rubbed his cheek with his paw, trying to emulate one of Silversmoke's pep talks. "T-Take it slow, and don't be too - um - too hard on y-yourself. Try to - to relax!" Ironic advice, coming from him. The coward flashed a smile full of false bravado, but there was some genuine emotion underneath the blundered attempt at being helpful.​

 

[Uranuskit]

Usually the question-asker, Uranuskit's head tilts her eyes wide and searching the sky. Those were good questions... not ones that the younger kit had found herself wrapped up in yet. But why hadn't she thought of them? They were important, weren't they? They must be if someone older was asking them! Expectations....Growing up.... all cats had to face it sometime, right? She, personally, couldn't wait to get all big and strong and have a cooler name then Uranuskit, is that what Fawnkit was referring to? Did he not want a cooler name?
Chickbloom's stuttering statement caught her a bit off guard. Everyone was bad when they started? Everyone? Even mom and dad? Such thoughts were blasphemous for the kit, and she let Chickbloom know with a very vocal 'Nuh-UH' and a sour look.
"Don't worry Fawnkit, you won't fail or be bad at apprentice-ing", She promises with a little nod. "Momma said - my momma not yours - said that that Orangestar and the first one -Blazestar I think? - were kitty pets first and bad at apprentice-ing! And some cats won't understand - my dad said so. He said some cats are just mean so thats why you gotta," her face screwed up, a smirk playing on her maw. "Thats why you gotta prove yourself and be smart-mean to them back!" And with the grace of a goose, she bunches her muscles and launches herself at Fawnkit's back.

✧ ~~

•  
• she/her 2 moons Peaceful & healing powerplay allowed

 

[Cherryblossom]

Overhearing the conversation, Cherryblossom can't help the slight wrinkle of her nose. At Fawnkit's age, Cherrypaw was already halfway up the mountains, helping cats seasons older than her scale its cliffsides. She can hardly empathize with Chickbloom's juttering attempts at soothing him either; she'd been nothing but confident in the days leading up to her own ceremony. Though... she remembers little Owlkit nearly throwing a nervous fit over the idea of leaving the nursery. None of Bobbie's, er, Doeblaze's children had seemed terribly enthusiastic about it either, in hindsight.

It's Uranuskit's—outspoken as ever, Ursabounce's kid—interjection that forces her paw into the discussion. "Hey, Orangestar was never a kittypet," she says, chancing a side-eye towards the state of the kit's pelt and not drawing too close to her. She has a sneaking suspicion those words hint at her when the little tortie point lunges for Fawnkit, and her whiskers flutter with a tiny huff. "All apprentices are, like, little failures for the first moon or so." She hopes Ricepaw isn't around, but it's true. "Are you saying you don't wanna be an apprentice? What'd we even take you in for then?" The sleek tortoiseshell cocks her head at the kitten. The newly-recovered one, if she remembers correctly. He'd popped his head up when she delivered supplies to the warden and his prisoners. Was it just some lingering sickness in him talking?​