- Feb 29, 2024
- 87
- 5
- 8
Adderpaw usually did not struggle to fall asleep, the sweet release of slipping into a different reality a welcoming, warm embrace -- all too tempting for the apprentice who struggled to understand what was occurring around him every day. In his dreams, he could talk to insects and birds as large and intelligent as him (which wasn't by much, they always seemed so much more wise than he could ever be), learn about their lives and how their world worked. Of course, it was all imaginary and there was no way that anything these figures were saying could even remotely be true; but Adderpaw liked to hold it close to his heart that maybe they did want to share their special secrets with just him.
Or, sometimes his dreams will be filled with conversations he has with his clanmates. Authentic, genuine back and forth chatter as laughs are shared and secrets spilled. He never wanted to admit it, but those were his favorite dreams. Being able to feel free enough to express himself, to not be worried of any judgement that may befall him for his lack of drive or his interesting curiosities... it was liberating. However, each morning he could feel the emptiness that sits in his stomach, the heartache slowly overtaking his limbs as he lay in his bedding wondering why things couldn't be that simple in the real world. Perhaps he was just too ignorant.
Tonight, however, was different as Adderpaw lay staring up at the ceiling of the apprentice den, nerves swimming around in his stomach as he lay a paw over it to clench at it with sheathed claws. It was getting harder and harder to slip into quietness, his mind racing at the idea that any wolf could barrel right through their already tattered bramble entrance to stick its ugly head in his den to swallow him whole. The thought suffocated him so much so that most nights were spent trying to calm himself, gripping the bedding around him before drifting off just before the sun rose in the sky above. Adderpaw had never really been afraid of anything, though he did despise rodents a bit and could categorize that as maybe being a bit fearful of. But the wolves enveloped his young mind, terrorizing him in the shadows of his mind, tricking him into believing that he was seeing them right before his very eyes.
Squeezing his eyes shut at the thought, he turned over to find Dustpaw possibly in the same position as him -- at least struggling to sleep. Shifting his weight, the apprentice wondered if he should try to talk to her. Maybe it would be easier when there weren't prying eyes, he thought as his heartbeat drummed in his head. Was he really going to try and make a conversation with someone, especially an apprentice he didn't even know that well? Swallowing his pride, Adderpaw whispered softly to her with anxiousness lacing his words. "Hey. Uh... you can't sleep either?" Biting his tongue as he awaited her response, he thought about how he'd just pretend to have slept talk if she had some kind of abnormal reaction.
ooc: prior to dustpaw's injury ofc :]!!! @DUSTPAW
Or, sometimes his dreams will be filled with conversations he has with his clanmates. Authentic, genuine back and forth chatter as laughs are shared and secrets spilled. He never wanted to admit it, but those were his favorite dreams. Being able to feel free enough to express himself, to not be worried of any judgement that may befall him for his lack of drive or his interesting curiosities... it was liberating. However, each morning he could feel the emptiness that sits in his stomach, the heartache slowly overtaking his limbs as he lay in his bedding wondering why things couldn't be that simple in the real world. Perhaps he was just too ignorant.
Tonight, however, was different as Adderpaw lay staring up at the ceiling of the apprentice den, nerves swimming around in his stomach as he lay a paw over it to clench at it with sheathed claws. It was getting harder and harder to slip into quietness, his mind racing at the idea that any wolf could barrel right through their already tattered bramble entrance to stick its ugly head in his den to swallow him whole. The thought suffocated him so much so that most nights were spent trying to calm himself, gripping the bedding around him before drifting off just before the sun rose in the sky above. Adderpaw had never really been afraid of anything, though he did despise rodents a bit and could categorize that as maybe being a bit fearful of. But the wolves enveloped his young mind, terrorizing him in the shadows of his mind, tricking him into believing that he was seeing them right before his very eyes.
Squeezing his eyes shut at the thought, he turned over to find Dustpaw possibly in the same position as him -- at least struggling to sleep. Shifting his weight, the apprentice wondered if he should try to talk to her. Maybe it would be easier when there weren't prying eyes, he thought as his heartbeat drummed in his head. Was he really going to try and make a conversation with someone, especially an apprentice he didn't even know that well? Swallowing his pride, Adderpaw whispered softly to her with anxiousness lacing his words. "Hey. Uh... you can't sleep either?" Biting his tongue as he awaited her response, he thought about how he'd just pretend to have slept talk if she had some kind of abnormal reaction.
ooc: prior to dustpaw's injury ofc :]!!! @DUSTPAW